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Click hereThe little bell on the door rang as someone walked into the musty store. He smiled, feeling a sense of what they most desired. Within seconds, his appearance changed until an older, grandmotherly figure stood where he was. She walked to the end of the aisle and looked at the newcomers, a young man and his girlfriend.
"Welcome, welcome," she said, smiling cheerfully. "What can I help you two love birds find today?"
- COMMENTS
Lecheman28 days agoThat was one very nasty deviant orientated step sister however, ending the story that way was probably better as if he had glued it back together, his response to her would have taken it to another level of nastiness.
Mixed minds on this story, had a lot of potential but it felt like it went off the rails too quickly.
From a story perspective, I personally lean towards happier endings.
Master_Doctor3 months agonice concept.... but over all disappointing. Lots of tell. very little show. Which any creative writing class will tell you is backwards. Very much a let down over all, could have been oh so much better.
Anonymous3 months agoI hope this motivation for the mc to get better/revenge otherwise it a cliche let down.
Anonymous3 months agoHated it. Hopefully there's another chapter where he fixes it and regains control.
