All Comments on 'Dahlia - Birth of an A.I. Ch. 03'

I love this whole series! The sex is wild, as is the future they're making. Five Stars don't seem to be enough. My only small gripe is them staying at a holiday inn's, and ordering room service, Ain't gonna happen. You need to upgrade their stays to Marriott's or Hilton's at least. Security is better at the better places too. Thanks for the great reads!

Bullets would be only a minor annoyance compared to space debris. Enjoying the heck out of this story so far.

You slag off at SpaceX saying that they won’t be able to charge exorbitant launch costs now with AG. Well you’re just so fucking wrong. SpaceX is 60 million to LEO and ULA is 500 million to LEO. Yeah, that earned a congressional enquiry in 2012. Spacex already does everything to one single end goal, permanent self sustaining human colony on mars. All the SpaceX business are just to fund that end goal.

Oh commercial crew contract. Boeing got billions more than SpaceX and their space craft is so broken and dangerous it can’t fly again for over a year. The Boeing capsule can’t bring freight back from space only people and the Boeing capsule can only lift 900kg if that at takeoff including crew while the SpaceX capsule can lift 6000kg of cargo and crew. The SpaceX capsule is half the price per launch and then it gets reused for freight only flights.

Yeah so if mentioning companies by name get your shit wired tight. SpaceX would have been all over AG salivating and blowing loads all over the place, promising all the first born children from everyone in the company and a date with Gwenth Shotwell. Miss I became an engineer because the one I saw had the best suit, why not.

SpaceX fan and I deplore misinformation. I believe you have a girl in your story to handle that.

Lighten the fuck up man... its just a story ffs.

The other thing I want to say is that there has been AG tech since like the 50s but its been completely buried by the US govt. Look it up. Its there if you dig enough and I have no doubt they would do everything in their power to shut this shit down too (at least to the extent that they would be the only ones to have/use it... they are dicks that way)

I don't read the sex part of the story anymore, it detracts from the plot.

the AI characters & words. You overused 'lithe' to the point of misusing it, and described each female protagonist almost verbatum from the 1st chapter.

It turns an otherwise interesting new chapter into tedium & an annoying fast scroll to get past the repetition. There's nothing wrong w/ reinforcing the mental image of characters, but do it w/ well placed adjectives & adverbs, not w/ wholesale, repetitive paragraphs.

You have a decent story line, you simply need to be more critical during re-writes. A beta reader or 3 would help, if you can't find an editor.

GeoD

Outstanding, not often to find an story wich is that much entertaining. Thank you for sharing this storyline for free. I don't see any reason to critisice anything here bcs it is just interesting, fun and nice to read.