All Comments on 'Déjà Vu'

Geez, this was one of the hottest stories that I have ever read on here. Bravo!

I enjoyed the different perspectives of each character, Jennie, Debbie, Jim, and Bill. Nice.

You need to continue this, perhaps, to novel length and see where the characters take you.

Good job. Outstanding. I can't wait to see the movie.

Very well done. I found myself taking notes a couple of times.

While I don't usually like stories that are non-stop sex, this one was great. A "how to" manual for both novice and experienced lovers. Great characters. Good writing. Keep up the good work.

great job keep them coming

Fantastic story! good character development, good storyline and good dialogue. you could wrap up with bringing us back to the original deja vu moment, maybe a sequel??

Feedback <feedback@literotica.com> wrote:

This message contains feedback for: BenLong

About the submission: Déjà Vu

This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

In this paragraph: ""I love to eat pussy. My teacher Jennie taught me how to get her off and I've always loved the feel of a throbbing clit on my tongue. I'd swear at times when a woman goes off to my tongue I almost come with her. I often go down on Jenny to get her warmed up, but she's turned into such a little firecracker I don't have to warm her up - much. I'd say I go down on her to get her warmed up about half the time. Once in a while she'll just tells me she needs "an O" and ask me to eat her." " I believe there is an error. "Jenny" should be "Debs". YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, I PUT THE WRONG NAME. I ALSO NOTICED ANOTHER FAUX PAS OF NAMES WHEN I REREAD IT, BUT NOW CAN'T FIND IT AGAIN, SO IT DIDN'T STICK OUT TOO MUCH. MY BAD, SORRY.

loved every part of it! the detailed descriptions, i felt the sexy mood of it build up every time rather than just mindlessly getting off. whoa!

Loved this story; wish I'd had a teacher forty years ago.

By our tenth anniversity We didn't know 1/3rd of what you have shared with this story and She doesn't want to change (sigh).

Eagerly looking foward to reading the rest of your submissions !

Probably the only long story in Lit's vast library that I would read again & again AND get something out of it everytime. The likelihood though of all of the four 'stars' agreeing to a 'surprise' swap, especially the inept Bill, was the only eyebrow raiser. All 4 people, while being handsome/beautiful and obviously desirable, were believable and easily translated into a real life scenario. I identified initially with the teaching of Debs, having 'come across' a similar lovely girl when I was only in my early 20's. She loved the 'idea' of fucking (not love making), of raw sex, but had noooo idea how to let herself go. I helped her I hope in my immature iept way until both of us enjoyed being completely uninhibited and the raw fucking moved onto genuine love making. All in all BenLong you not only entertained me so much that for the very forst time I have actually written a critique, but you also bought back some wonderful memories of my exciting past. Oh, yes the restaurant might have been called Champaign but the real stuff you drink is written Champagne!

BenLong, you are either an excellent storyteller, or an excellent teller of true stories. The latter is possible, because you make the characters, their thoughts, feelings and behavior, so real.

In spite of the nonstop sex, you've made the people real, and likeable. I look forward to reading more of your stories, hopefully they are as good as this one.

Gary13

Just about he greatest I've ever read. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I really enjoyed the sex scenes and the story tying them together.

But I felt a little bit disappointed when the flashback ended and we didn't get to see anything more of the current time.

... was when Debs had Bill tied up. I've read quite a few bondage and domination stories, and while they can be thrilling, what I loved about this was the intention of care and nurturing that infused everything Debs did. She took control for the purpose of teaching and with the intention of helping him become better, not for pain nor dominating for dominations sake.

The entire story was fantastic but that was the most memorable part for me.

I have to echo the other commenters. You have created very real and likable characters here, in a very well written, incredibly hot story.

Well done.

Bravo!

to a king and princess and teachers pet. TK U MLJ LV NV

This is excellent story telling!!! 'Rocky Mountain Christmas' should be prefaced with a note to read this story first!! :-)) Thank you for all your contributions!!! PLEASE keep them coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have read a LOT of stories on this site......both short and long.......but this is by far one of the BEST! Everything from the story line, the "how-to", the emotional connections and of course the sex, was excellently written. I definitely look forward to reading more of your submissions. Keep up the good work!!!

xoxoxo.......tlittle7482

I loved to find out about the things I only got a summary of in the Rocky's story. And you were absolutely right in what you said about this story.

The only thing you left out was what tha initial thing with that other man needing to talk to Jim actually was about. Another story?

Apart of this I have to say: You did much 'tell' and less 'show' in this one. But for me it worked perfectly. Which is again showing great artmanship... ;-)

always thought I like them short and graphic... I've never liked series either, so reading this piece is a big surprise to me, long and instructive than descriptive...

that's saying something about your art in writing! kept me reading til daylight!

keep it up!!!

This story was Fantastic. The titillation was exciting along with the sensuality and love not only of each other but also of their friends.

The premise for the Deja Vu was that author was reminded of his own experience from 20 years ago by the comments of his co-worker. What was the follow up to help the co-worker?

Eight years this story has been up, and leave it to Pops to point out that I never again mentioned my co-worker from the very first paragraph. What can I say - it takes a lot longer to write stories than it does to read them, and I've got so many stories to tell... Perhaps someday I'll tell how my wife and I took them under our wing and turned them into swingers that lived happily ever after.... Or not.

Thanks to all for the feedback and comments.

I like that this was different to your standard fare swinger story. In fact, most of your stories that I have read so far seem to embrace difference. I, too, noticed that the story never got back to the original point of Deja vu with the new colleague - as you say, maybe an idea for an upcoming story. I liked the idea of the occasional teases, (intentional or not), that this may go to hell in handbasket and they end up with each other's partners permanently. In the end, though, I was glad the story ended as it did. I did doubt the credibility of Bill's mild reaction when Debs told him so early on that Jenny was having an intimate weekend with Jim - but this is fantasy/fiction, right, and it is sometime necessary to suspend belief.

I did notice a number of occasions where the author said Jenny when he meant Debs - but, on each occasion, it was so clearly a mistake that it was not too confusing.

Not quite the best story I have read on Literotica but still damn good. 5* from me.

and true to the characters we were introduced to if it had stopped with Jenny and Bill.

it would also have been much more enjoyable if instead of both of them seducing Jenny,then having Debs go, uninvited and without warning, over to seduce Bill essentially "switching" partners without the knowledge of the other couple.

How about instead of becoming teachers by sleeping with the other couple, they had shown them what to do? Given them a graphic, visual, and realistic model to mimic? Bill and Jenny in the spa, watch us and we will show you what you are missing. try it.

want to move on to 2nd couple? do a 2nd chapter. a 3rd couple? chapter 3.

Otherwise, don't post it in erotic couples, try group, poly, LW,

oh well

Truly an excellent and wonderful story. Thank you so very much for sharing!

what abut the young man at the beginning?

I like well-written sex education stories.

Where many of them lack, is where this story was expansive.

What is education for?

It's for what ensues -- to help the trainee do a good job after the education is over.

In so many sex ed stories, I'm left wanting to hear how the trainee (often taught by an experienced woman who is older) used his new skills with other girls/women, especially his peers. That was what this story emphasized. In fact, Jim's initial training by Jennie is only sketchily mentioned.

How this impacted the woman he married is a significant emphasis. However, the major emphasis of this tale is something I do not remember ever reading: stage 3.

The initial training of Jim is stage 1. Jim using his expertise to initiate his wife Debs is stage 2. Too few sex ed stories ever get to stage 2. In contrast, this story carries the training to stage 3, when trainee Debs becomes the trainer for Jenny.

Kudos.

Another wonderful, heartwarming sex education story is the three-part Educating Dustin Rhodes by Mindventure. See my multiple comments on Ch. 03 and Ch. 02 of Educating Dustin Rhodes for more high quality sex education stories on Literotica.

Another feature that I liked about Deja Vu was the excellent mastery of the English language -- spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Quality this high is seldom encountered on Literotica.

Another feature that I liked is the lack of raunchy language. Nobody is called a slut or whore. Some interesting Literotica stories with good plots are purposefully so crude that it is difficult for me to enjoy them. In contrast, everyone in Deja Vu is treated with consideration and respect.

I also appreciate the lack of anal.

One of the great stories of Literotica.

So easy to give it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

Paul in Oklahoma

You never got back the the DÉJÀ VU issue.

I've had several recent questions about "what happened to the young man at the beginning of the story", or similar. Gee, I don't know - I would guess he went on and lived his life. The "co-worker" who went to lunch with Jim was simply the intro to the story; the story is about Jim, Debs, Bill and Jenny.

I suppose it's analogous to describing a trip on a freeway, which begins with a short jaunt on the on ramp - and then at the end of the drive having someone ask what happened to the on-ramp. Except to get you onto the freeway, it's incidental and not noteworthy. The young man at the beginning of the story is just that, incidental and not noteworthy.

It was enjoyable, but a little long. IMO, eleven pages was too long. Would have been easier (for me) to read if it had been divided into three or four chapters.

I kept confusing Jennie, Jenny and Jen. When I write, I try to never have more than one character with the same name.

Thanks for your story. I need to read more of your work.

It's nice to have people who are interested enough in you to go out of their way to assist you with basic 'educational' shortcomings. A very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

An amazing operating manual for physical love. It should be required reading for couples.