All Comments on 'Emily the Country Girl'

Its too forced throughout the story and not 100% believable. I highly doubt that she would be sitting in a chair, with the computer next to her, fucking herself and her dad comes up and sticks his dick into her and then she still goes on typing not sure of what to do...I love the idea for the story though.

the person below me is right, not very believable. But i love the concept of someone on the internet playing truth and dare ending up with her fucking her dad and his freinds.

Your story was ok, but needs a lot of punctuation and grammar editing. Also, there are a lot of problems with the believability of portions of the story. I could believe that Emily could be slowly convinced by the stranger online to tease her father, but I can't believe that she would reach over and type with one hand while fucking him and his friends. Multi-tasking is not easy while having sex, even for the most talented of participants, but for a first-timer to have the dexterity to be able to type and fuck at the same time, I find it hard to believe. Perhaps if she was on the phone and was telling the guy what he was doing, I could believe that. Most people can't type with nothing going on. Next time you are "taking care of business", give it a try. I'm willing to bet that you will see my point. Also, when people are talking, use "quotation marks". It makes their dialogue much easier to follow. Use an editor and keep working on it! You'll get better with practice.

That was a dumb, ridiculous and impractical story. Maybe some added back story about the daughter's desire for her father might have helped.

The story started in past tense, where most stories reside, and then went to present tense, which is not an easy tense to write well. I feel you'd have been better off to write the story completely in past tense.

Also, I feel the story could have benefited from more character development. More reason for why the lead character acted as she did would have helped the story in my opinion.

Keep at it. You have a great imagination and I believe that you'll find your voice and ultimately craft some engaging stories.

And badly written too. 1 star, learn to write if you're going to post here