Free Fall Ch. 02

He lifted his mouth from mine to find me breathing fast. "Am I too heavy?"

He was heavy, but I didn't mind. It felt so good to be pressed that close. I shook my head. "Oh God, no, I love it. Don't stop."

He lowered his mouth again and continued kissing me as he made subtle adjustments to the angle and position of his hips. I felt the head of his cock find its target. He pressed forward and I tensed and grabbed hold of the bed sheets. I gasped and he stopped moving.

"Zoe?"

"Don't stop. It feels so good."

The sensation was unbelievable—just the head of his cock pressing into me. He hadn't penetrated me with anything but his tongue yet, so even though I was dripping wet, my body wasn't quite ready for full penetration, but it didn't hurt—it felt absolutely incredible. I arched my back and swore.

His eyes were big as he eased himself back, then forward again, making me gasp again.

"Talk to me, Zoe. Should I stop?"

"No, no, don't stop. Just...slow. Don't go deep yet. Oh God, but don't stop."

I felt his body tense as he drew back, then move forward again. It couldn't have been more than an inch—his hips barely moved—but the pressure was enough. I ran my hands over his shoulders and locked eyes with him.

"Oh Nico, why is that so fucking amazing?"

He shook his head, clearly thrilled by my reactions. "I'm not even—"

He pressed forward just a little and I groaned.

"Ohh right there. Mmm, yes—right there."

Somehow he found the physical control to do exactly what I needed. He watched my face for cues, although I became so vocal, I left little for him to guess.

"Right there. Oh Nico. Just like that, just like that, just a little."

I saw his arms tremble slightly as he eased himself forward and back. I could feel my body opening as the thickness of his cock head pressed into me. It wasn't that he was so large, it was just the resistance my body offered gave me such a delicious sensation of pleasure right on the very edge of pain. He rocked gently, pushing a little more each time. My whole body ached for it, for the release, and I knew I would come soon.

"That's—" I gasped. "That's going to—make me come!"

"Zoe..." His eyes went wide again when he realized I was close. "Oh Sweetheart, I'm barely inside you. Your body is unbelievable."

He found a rhythm, slow and steady, barely penetrating me, and with each movement I whined and moaned beneath him. I could see it was an effort for him to not plunge himself deeper, but he held himself where I wanted him, staring down at me in wonder.

"A little more," I gasped. "Just a little."

He obliged, carefully pressing deeper, and I was surprised when he moaned in response. "Ohh sweetheart. You feel so good..."

"So good," I echoed. He rocked forward and back on his knees, still watching my face. I could feel my body beginning to accept his gentle thrusts, relaxing even as my arousal rose higher with each shallow penetration, and I knew this precise and delicate ache would fade quickly once he filled me up.

I stared up into his handsome face and brought a hand down between us, ready to get past the peak. "Don't stop," I begged. "Don't stop, Nico. Just like that."

"I won't," he breathed. I could see the pleasure in his expression. "You're close...I can feel it," he gasped. I touched my clit and my hips jumped under his, making his cock dive deeper inside me, but still not all the way. I groaned and he drew back and found his rhythm again. I stroked myself and whimpered, right on the edge. "Come, sweetheart," he urged me. His hips moved a little more quickly, and with a little less precision, but he was doing his best to keep his rhythm steady.

"Yes," I said suddenly. "Yes, that's—" I gasped and he stopped moving and stared down at me, his eyes huge. I let out a long, low moan as I reached the highest peak and then my pussy contracted. I crushed my clit under my finger as the spasms began.

I panted and squirmed and managed to gasp, "Push your cock deep!"

He did. Slowly and completely while my pussy quaked around his thick shaft. I stared up at him. His expression matched my own disbelief. I wasn't sure what he felt, but for me it was unlike anything I'd ever felt before.

"Ohhh Zoe..." he breathed. His expression was complete astonishment as he watched me writhe and shake. I could hear myself groaning and whining as I came. It was the most intense orgasm I had ever had. It felt like a workout. I was sure my pussy would be sore afterward.

My whining became sighs and once my pussy's throbbing slowed I carefully lifted my finger from my sensitive clit and sighed. He began to draw back and my pussy pulsed weakly, making me sigh again.

"So sexy. My God." He shook his head and smiled. He very slowly began to rock his hips again, filling me thoroughly each time, but in no real hurry. "Is this OK? You need to rest?"

I shook my head and ran my hands over his shoulders. His skin was hot and damp and I could feel the tension in the hard muscles as he held himself above me.

"God. You came so hard." He was obviously aroused from watching me orgasm. I could hear it in his voice, and it was plain on his face.

I shook my head. "I didn't even know I could, not like that. God, that was...unreal."

"Mmm," he smiled a hungry smile. "It's so exciting to see you like that—when you're about to come. God, it turns me on so much."

He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me softly. When he lifted his head, it was only a fraction of an inch. I looked into his deep brown eyes and saw intense lust there. "Just now, I wanted to keep you there, on the edge. I was barely inside you, but it felt so good. And your face—oh God, you looked so sexy. And then—" He kissed me again, his tongue slipping between my lips briefly. I felt his lips move when he spoke, though his voice was only a whisper. "When you did come—and you told me to push my cock deep—you got so tight."

Although I could see he was excited, his hips rose and fell in the most leisurely fashion. From the look on his face, he was savoring the sensation of finally pushing himself deep. I lifted my legs and wrapped them gently around his hips. With each downward movement of his hips, I pulled him close with my legs, holding him against me for a second before relaxing my grip as he moved his hips back up. This way, together, we filled and filled my pussy in slow, luxurious movements.

He brought his mouth back to mine and we kissed. It wasn't long before his hips began to rise higher and fall harder. His pace gradually increased and he had to lift his mouth from mine to breathe. The look on his face was so exciting, so unlike any expression he wore out in the world—it was lusty and needy and when he rose up and lifted my legs from his waist so he could thrust deeper inside me, I saw a focus that thrilled me to my core.

For the next few minutes, he was lost in his pleasure. Occasionally he would close his eyes and rest his chin on his chest, then he would groan, his head would roll on his neck, and he'd look down at me with intense desire.

"You are so gorgeous," he said. He smiled, but it was a slightly tortured smile and it faded quickly to be replaced by the lusty look he'd worn a moment before.

He grasped my ankles and brought them to his shoulders and began to thrust harder. He leaned forward, pressing my legs back, bending me nearly in half. I felt my hamstrings stretch more than they'd been stretched in a while. His cock moved deeper inside me, and the sensation was different, a dull, thick pleasure that spread through my whole body like a fever.

"Oh God, that's so deep," I groaned.

"Too much?" His voice was throaty and full of emotion.

"No, I love it."

I reached for his neck and pulled him down to kiss me, but his mouth never made it to mine. When my knees touched my shoulders and his cock filled me completely, I groaned, realizing he'd reached my body's limit. He stared, wide-eyed and made his own sound of excitement—a deep, animal noise.

He shifted, grabbing my hands and laced his fingers in mine. Then he pressed them into the bed's surface just beside my head. His whole body was tense as he drove himself downward, filling me more deeply than a moment before. His weight and the power of his thrusts made it hard to breathe, but the expression on his face—that lusty desire—made it even more difficult.

He must have seen my discomfort, because he slowed his hips and asked, "Too hard?"

I shook my head. "Don't stop. Go as hard as you want," I whispered. "Hard as you need."

He let out a long, low curse. Then he set his jaw and resumed thrusting, carefully, but deeply and gradually building force over the next few minutes. His face was wet with sweat and his brown curls bobbed as he thrust. I couldn't do anything, with my arms pinned and my whole body under his. His deep, downward thrusts drove the air from my lungs as his muscular body pushed mine into the bed's surface. I was completely at his mercy, which should have scared me given his physical strength and the sheer mass of his body bearing down on me, but I trusted him. I trusted him completely.

I watched his face grow tense and his brow wrinkle with effort as he got close to his orgasm. Suddenly he let go of my hands and pressed his mouth to mine, crushing me under his torso. He was breathing fast, but he kissed me excitedly.

"Are you—going to come?"

My words came out in gasps as I struggled to breathe. When he answered, his voice was so low and lusty, it sent another thrill through my whole body.

"Yes."

"Are you going to—come inside me?"

"Yes. Is that what you want?" His thrusts became wild—fast and hard and desperate.

"Oh God, yes."

"I'm so deep inside you, sweetheart." His eyes went wide and I wondered if he was reading my thoughts, my fantasies about having babies with him. I was on the pill, so there was no danger he'd get me pregnant, but even the idea of his semen inside me—the potential of pregnancy—thrilled me.

"Do it, do it." I wanted it in the worst way. I wormed my hands up and into his hair. I dug my fingers into his scalp. I almost begged. "Come, Nico. Come inside me. I want it."

"Ohh God. Baby—" He shook his head, like he was shaking off a fog, but then his whole body tensed and he thrust hard, pushing me down into the bed's surface. His hips quivered and the sounds he made were half curses, half grunts. He drew back a little and thrust again, bearing down on me. The air left my lungs and I lay, unable to draw more than a shallow breath while he trembled above me. I felt the pulse of his cock at the entrance to my vagina, erratic but strong. My pussy was pulsing too, from the intense, repetitive friction of Nico's thrusts. Together, we made a frantic rhythm that gradually slowed, though his heart kept thumping like mad in his chest.

Finally he lifted his torso from mine, allowing me to take a deeper breath, and for a second he just panted, his chin on his chest.

"Zoe—Zoe—sweetheart—" His words were clipped and strained as he tried to catch his breath. "You are fuck—ing amaz—ing."

I groaned when he straightened up, giving me room to lower my legs. His cock slipped from my pussy and he ran his hands down my legs as he moved to the side, gently helping me lower them to the bed. He flopped onto the bed beside me, still panting.

My hips ached from the strain of having him on top of me for so long. I stretched my legs and arched my back, relieving some of the stiffness.

"You OK?" He was still panting, but he turned on his side and pressed his mouth to my neck. His hand ran down my body and rested on my belly. "I tried not to crush you, I know I'm heavy."

"I'm fine." I slid my hand over his. "I don't think I've been so...um...thoroughly...fucked before."

He laughed. A burst of hot breath across my neck. "Oh God, I was thorough, wasn't I?" His hand slid lower, his rough fingers sliding into my red pubic hair. The heat of his palm was nice and I felt my tired pussy pulse distantly, responding to his touch. "I hope I wasn't too rough."

"It was exciting," I admitted. "Remind me to send a thank you letter to my yoga teacher."

"Is that why you're so flexible? The way your body bends..." He made a noise low in his throat. "God. You're incredible. I was watching your face, I was going to stop—but you just folded right up."

"I took yoga in college. I had no idea those classes would have such far-reaching benefits."

"Far-reaching is right. Your knees reached right up to your ears." He pressed a kiss on my cheek and then lay back on the bed and sighed. I saw his eyes close. He drew a couple of deep breaths, his chest rising high each time.

"You're not falling asleep, are you?"

He laughed, but didn't open his eyes. "Not this time. I'm just savoring this feeling."

I moved toward him and he automatically shifted his arm to make room for me. His eyes stayed closed as I snuggled up against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I traced my fingertips through his chest hair.

"What feeling is that?"

"Not sure there's a word for it. Happy doesn't do it justice."

"Really happy?" I suggested. "Really, really happy?"

"Really, really happy is getting close," he said laughing, "but it's...more than that. I feel...like..." I shifted so I could watch his face. His brow tensed and relaxed and tensed again as he searched for the words. "Like I'm going to be OK."

"You'd been worried you weren't?"

"I was worried. Or...worried I'd only ever be OK. Not better than that. Just going through the motions. Working as many hours as I can so I'm exhausted when I get home. Too exhausted to feel sad." He paused, and I waited, just watching his face. It made my heart ache when I thought of how much sadness he had inside him. "I treasure my time with Lena," he went on after a few seconds. "I can't get enough of that. But I think the rest of the time I'm just on autopilot. Just doing, not being, you know?" He opened his eyes and looked down at me.

"I think that's a pretty common experience," I said. "Life is painful. Nobody wants to feel sad."

"But how come, when I'm with you, I don't mind. I don't mind feeling sad. Why is that?"

"I'm a good listener?" I'd heard that a few dozen times in my life from grateful friends.

He shook his head. "No, it's more than that. You are a good listener, but you pull it out of me, the emotion. I don't mean you make me sad—you don't. You make me really, really happy. But I get sad sometimes when I'm with you and I don't try to run away from it."

He turned his head, looking up at the ceiling. I wanted to tell him how much I loved his displays of emotion, even the sadness, but I waited.

"I can't believe I cried the first time we had sex," he said after a while. He laughed, but he seemed genuinely embarrassed. "I don't even know what the hell that was."

I stretched my face up to his and kissed his cheek. "It was real."

"Not exactly my manliest moment." He looked back at me, the first display of uncertainty he'd shown since we'd gotten to the house.

"You do not need to worry about your manliness, Mr. Onassis. Anyway, I don't believe you want to be that guy, the one who can't show emotions. That guy who's all buttoned down and in control of himself. I dated that guy, Nico, and let me tell you, he was an angry mess."

He looked at me for a while, a faint smile growing on his lips. "Have you ever thought of becoming a therapist? Instead of a doctor?"

It took me a second to realize he wasn't joking, despite the smile on his lips.

"You're so smart, Zoe. I know you've heard that your whole life, how smart you are, but I mean smart about people, smart about emotions. You pay such close attention to what people do and say, and what they feel." He smiled for real, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Maybe that's why you're such an amazing lover."

"Am I?" I couldn't help but laugh, partly from excitement, but also because I'd never thought of myself as particularly skilled or knowledgeable sexually.

"God yes. A lot of it is just you—how sexy you are. The way you move and the way you react, how vocal you get..." He made a low noise, deep in his chest. I felt it under my palm. "It's so exciting being with you. I love touching you and watching your response. But it's also the way you look at me. You make me feel so good, so...desirable. You make me feel like I'm the sexiest man alive."

"You are," I said. I meant it; I knew I'd never look at another man with half as much attraction as I looked at Nico. "No question."

He made a noise of appreciation and sighed again. For a few minutes we lay together quietly. He closed his eyes again, and his chest rose and fell in slow, steady breaths, but I could tell he was still awake. The air coming in from the open windows was cool and scented with some kind of night-blooming flower. I could hear the crickets and a light breeze in the trees, but otherwise it was silent.

My thoughts were busy with what he'd said. The compliments, and the suggestion, which I thought had been genuine, not just an idle comment. I wondered if that would be fulfilling to me, if I'd enjoy it as a career, listening to other peoples' problems. And if I decided that was the direction I wanted to go, would that solve the problem I hadn't even admitted to myself? My desire to stay here? Near Nico.

I moved from under the weight of his arm and sat up. His eyes opened, he turned his head and smiled, but didn't say anything. I moved until my face was level with his and then propped myself on an elbow. I reached up and pushed my fingers through his curls, thinking. I wanted to stay with him, I realized. More than I'd ever wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to stay with him, to be with him and raise a family. I wanted to marry him, and move into this house. I wanted to have babies with him and grow old together.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly.

"I don't know if I can tell you. I think it's too soon."

He didn't press for more information, but he watched my face quietly for a while and then said, "I love you."

I sighed and a wave of excitement swept through me.

"I love you, too." Then I added, "I've never been in love before," because I realized for the first time that it was true.

"Never?"

I shook my head, thinking. "I thought I loved my boyfriend. I mean, I thought what I felt was love, but it never really matched up to what my friends described when they talked about being in love. That feeling...like you're going to die if you don't see them, and then the overwhelming dizziness when you do see them...I never really felt that. I didn't believe my friends, actually. I thought they were exaggerating. But, I also wondered if there was something wrong with me, that I didn't feel it."

His voice was very quiet when he spoke. "Do you believe them now?"

"Actually, I think they understated it a bit," I said. "This feels...so much better...and so much worse than they described."

"Worse?"

I nodded. "I love you so much, it hurts."

I hadn't meant to say it so plainly, and when his smile faded a little, I worried I'd made a mistake, but then he looked at me seriously and said, "I love you, too. So much, it hurts."

The next moment his hand lifted and he slid it to the back of my neck and pulled me down to kiss him. We exchanged a long, slow kiss that gradually became more passionate. He rolled onto his side and pulled me closer, pressing my body to his. We kissed and held each other for a long time without speaking, though we were saying plenty with our eyes. It took him a while to get hard again, but in the meantime we played—stroking and kissing and exploring each others' bodies at leisure. I had no sense of time passing and didn't even care. As far as I was concerned, we were in our own private world where time was irrelevant.