by Joe Brolly
Joe,
What a great installment. I was wondering when you were going to proceed down this path of the story. You're doing a great job with your story telling. The storyline flows well. I look forward to seeing your future offerings.
Respectfully,
SM
This was great. Good build up and good description of the action. More More More!
Loved it. I think it's time for Jack & Susan to get together. He can have "the best of both worlds" without any questions about his manhood.Thanx!
I've loved this whole series, but this chapter totally blew my mind. Great job, you're an awesome writer!
Dude... don't stop writing! I love these stories!!
You have got to write faster!!!! I love your stories and how it mixes good erotic writing with great story telling. This is the only series I read. Good work.
grejt story,
keep upp the good work.
Opinions are like assholes.
Everyone has one - but some just smell worse than others.
...it's been 7 months (!!) since we read anything. Where are you?? Should I give up, just move on and not look back?
why was there never another part to this story you think after 28 of them the last being a bloody cliffhnager you could atleast finish another insted of leaving us readers wondering what happens next
This is the chapter where I gave up on this story. I'm really turned off by "Susan". I stuck with the story becasue I thought Jennifer would end up using her powers to adjust Susan to either one gender or the other. If it has a dick its a dude. I never expected there to be a hermaphrodite creep show sex scene and the author should have indicated that in the description or at the beginning of the chapter. This chapter is just gross. Gross that Jennifer is having sex with Susan and even more gross that Jack would want to see it or experience it from Jennifer's perspective via a wish.
I really enjoyed Susan finally getting some sexual, partner based satisfaction. Boy, that was great. I will have to think about whether I, as a male, could have been that open, that accepting of another person's so different configuration. But I did enjoy reading about it.
So enjoyable to read how they all got together - thank you for the preparation!
Cannot wait to read more - am hard as a rock as well and dripping
I would say keep it up if this wasn't my third time through and my hopes for continuation weren't dashed to pieces.
This is more like it...the story about the business is fine, but in a few places it got bogged down in a bit too much detail, more detail on the erotic side, please. The circus scene was great, especially the contortionist, I'd like to see a video of that, but the really good ones don't work bare very much, do they? I definitely like the way Jack thinks about the needs of the people around him, that is so rare these days.
Genie is suppose to be bound to Jack so why is she getting fucked by Susan? He didn't wish for her to do that.
As much as i like the idear of Jennifer helping out Susan, it is quiet a off-turner that the "girlfriend" of your "hero" Jack gets fucked by an other "real" cock, at least Susan is not able to ejaculate. And it is sad that the "staying in her vagina while sleeping" is not Jack exlusive. That results in my oppinion in some kind of "ntr-feeling" as the japanese like to call it. So only two stars for this chapter, with the rest of the story up to now reciving 5 stars straight.
Well, from "oh master I will never have another dick" all the way to chapter twenty fucking three before she turns complete slut, leaving her masters bed to go get fucked and suck somebody else's dick. True poetry man, congratulations on trashing an otherwise decent (up to this point) story. Why do writers start with one style then near the end change it?
So afraid to think about anyone or anything truly unusual. If you read a story that might make you wonder, you get all pissed off.
It was OK. Well I’m not really impressed with this one. It was OK the sex scenes were great. My only problem is Jennifer should not be having vaginal sex with anyone else because she is his sexual servant. But that’s only my opinion.
"Well, from 'oh master I will never have another dick'..."
Um, the exact quote is: "I have and will always have eyes for only one guy. You, Master." (ch 4, p 1). Note "guy", not "dick".
To be sure, this is a "None of woman borne shall harm Macbeth" level of deception. But unlike in the Scottish play, the characters themselves aren't deceived, only us readers. In particular, Jennifer is *not* using this as a ploy to get with someone Jack would disapprove of if he knew the truth -- because, guess what, he does know. Because Jennifer herself told him long before.
"... she turns complete slut..."
Hmm, one stepping-out seems to me a pretty low bar to "complete slut"dom.
"...leaving her masters bed"
With her master's permission, which she has flat-out asked for. His answer might not have been verbal, but it was an extremely clear "yes" just the same.
In short, there's nothing untoward going on here. It's all good.
Ok, but just not as enjoyable as the rest if the chapters. Best to keep Jack & Jenn together in the story.
I will go against what other commenters posted and say that was a magnificent chapter. The love and respect shown was written first rate.
1. It's not a cock (it's an oversized clit) so Susan isn't a man. Moreover Jennifer had his permission.
2. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.