by Just Plain Bob
I'm exaggerating. In previous stories JPB's alter -ego and Pauline have trysted before in multiple stories, but this was first time she was the last bunny boiler standing, as story shut down. That was most remarkable feature about the story . When JPB sets narrator in Landing Strip spotlight to go on joke spiel , it's his way of saying "Goodnight and I'm fresh all out of innovation" for now.
Decent read till then and the price of admission was nill. Maybe this particular story didn't blow my Literotica skirt up but he's got 50 plus more in vast back trove that will . Hmmmm it's been a year since I last read " Orgasms " . Definitely in my top ten by this subversive scribe. Gotta go.
Reading this may have been the most excited I've ever been about a story. Pauline French gets the wedding and happy ever after!!! I've been waiting on this, like forever!! Great story, Bob. YES! You made my year! All my sentences have exclamation marks. This is sooo cool. All our old friends show up and it was great. Thank you, thank you. You, are the man! Let's see, five gold stars.
The joke sequences killed the story. Don't put those in there. You did this in at least one other story I read and it sucked there too.
Also learn a little bit about biology. Redheadedness is a recessive trait and no redhead can have redheaded children without contributions from the other parent. So, BOTH parents must have redhead genes for the children to be redheads. So, yes, indeed, both parents can have black or brown hair and produce redheaded children. Eye color is not as simple, but blue-eyed people can produce brown-eyed children and vice versa. So, there is no merit to your plot device. It's dumb and everyone should stop using "redheads" as a marker for paternity. There is also a dumbass use of it in one of Mainefiddlehead's stories.
Finally, you made your protagonist too amoral. Usually I don't like the normal BTB ultra-pure moral warrior type, but this guy was just blithely fucking married women with no concern at all. Hoisted by his own petard much? And the way he just forgives Rory's philandering with his wife as "just being a guy" was offensive misogyny given how he treated the same actions by his wife. Granted, she was under the strictures of a promise, but for there to be no recriminations at all for Rory's conduct is just offensive male privilege.
Check out the four part story, "Danny." Pauline gets the cake there, too. It is moist and delicious. Still, great one, JPB.
Ugh yet another poor offering from a once great writer. The constant use of the same characters and locations is quite simply boring and the 'jokes' weren't in the least bit funny.
This is like a favorite pair of broken in jeans or a pair of sneakers that fit just right ! This is the literary ( LW ) version of classic comfort food !
OK , you get my drift , I simply love these types of JPB stories . They are repetitive as Hell , but so what ! This is why I end up in his library of works so often when the new fare in LW is just so much shit !
Thank you for all the entertainment you've given us over the years JPB ! Please keep 'em coming !
Forgetting a man licking cum out of her snatch and sloppy seconds.
They also tend to be your hallmarks. That and Size Queens
Girl fucks around and guy is okay with it because she 'promised mom'. Then of course he has the bright idea to marry her... I stopped there. ONE STAR is still too much.
I could not get past the glaring error in your knowledge of genetics. Even my 12 year old when I asked her at breakfast about this knew that Blue Eyes and Blonde/Red hair is a recessive trait. Blown Eyes and Dark Hair is dominant trait, that means brown haired parents could have anything between Blue Eyes and Light Blonde or Red Hair to Black Hair and Dark Eyes. Could not get past it. Sorry. Wish I could but could not.
Or how every woman he ever met (and her sister) fucked around on him.
Dude, after the 100th time I think you might have over-used this plot a bit.
The hero is dumb. Check.
The hero is Passive. Check.
Plenty of jokes. Check.
Happy ending. Check.
A classic JPB story.
Delightful!
The guy being dumb makes the plot
easier to form.
How about making it a little trickier?
Thanks JPB for a good story.
But she barely makes an appearance in the story!
Pauline is still a phantom!
is many men are raising children that are not his biologically and are not aware of the situation. the percentage is a high. for me a big 5
but it will be honest and loving, TK U MLJ LV NV
\
But this one left me cold. It was just a long list of female names. He was glad to have sex with each of those and I have the feeling that he would have married most of them. He doesn‘t appear to be selective at all. As long as they are female, they are just right for him. Too many names and too many jokes. Sorry.
“So repetitive and boring, it’s like delicious and moist comfort food! Mmm mmm mmm!”
The ass-lickers here actually compliment each other for writing boring and repetitive stories featuring the same characters and same plots. Unbelievable.
I like stories that are lighthearted and easy on the eyes. 5 Stars.
Very much in line with JPB formula and that's why I like it. Nothing new under the sun but it's different enough..
"As I remember it you said it was something too filthy and disgusting to even talk about let alone do." - It's bad enough that these women give up their ass to their lovers but not to their main man, but then to use the "filthy and disgusting" excuse, which is an obvious lie.
"I'm sure she didn't know that it wasn't your child she was carrying." - No, but she had been having unprotected sex with another man! As for the biology experts, ever hear of "literary license?" On any case, there are paternity tests that can prove one way or the other.
Just the fact that she lied to BOTH him AND her mother about the other dates is pretty damning!
"I honestly didn't know Jason wasn't yours until I saw him." - Again, so FUCKING what? She knew that she was fucking Rory, even without it being his kid, that's reason to get dumped!
"all three ended up divorced because they cheated on their husbands." - So, to avoid cheating on her husband, she cheats on her boyfriend?! If you want to "play the field," you don't be exclusive! In any case, it's not like he's the only guy she dated. Just how much "playing the field" is enough? Was Rory the only one? What's the guarantee that she STILL won't wonder what she missed. She could have had TEN other guys, and still wonder!
No rubber? God, another lie!
Got to say I liked it. I even told Debra, my wife the "Cow" and the Golf ball joke, that one busted her up. Pretty funny,
Thanks,
MGM
Lmao . He married and bred the wore known as Pauline French. After reading some many of your stories . I feel I did her back in the day ....lol good read . But chill out on your closet incest fetish.
Why any woman would put up with a guy who believed a lie over the truth is beyond me.
Frankly, she should have shown him the truth and then left him because if he wouldn't believe her then he's not worth it.
Yep the biology is wrong, blue eyes are recessive and brown dominant, so brown eyed parents could contribute a blue allele and have a blue eyed baby, sane with hair color bein red.
I liked the jokes , too, as corny as they are.
The thing with Tanya or anyone like her is that you can forgive a lie for an explanation, maybe 2, but when someone gets caught out time and again, that is where the break lies. The other thing is this story is current times, genetic paternity tests cost less than 100 bucks these days, so why would he rely on hair color and the like? Once that kid was found not to be his he could get the marriage anulled because he got married under false pretenses which is a grounds for annulment (it is basically fraud) since he got married under the assumption he was the father.
Still a fun jpb story.
You should have read more, because the lie WAS the truth, in fact, the truth was WORSE!
You people don't get it. This is JPB; the Bob Hope of Loving Wives, the Clark Gable of Love stories, the Babe Ruth of home runs, he's timeless, he incorrigible, and he's just the best!
As jd mentioned, yay for Pauline! I laugh whenever I see that mega XYZ corp, and of course the Village Inn. I think the mic night idea was priceless, even if it had almost nothing to do with his plight. The golf ball was by far my favorite! Anyhow, thanks for another good laugh. Looking forward to the next one.
RNebular
Darn! You married her off. No one will be able to replace her.
JPB needs walk on cameos like Stan Lee.
Yes, yes I know he is already there, I just need to spot him.
many, many years! 3* stars for the story, Not my jam...+1 for Pauline French finaly scoring the guy!
Nothing like starting your day with a new JPB story. The world may be falling apart. Politicians may come and go. Everything is constantly changing except a JPB story.
A dependable intro, body ,and ending. We can all sleep well tonight.
I was glad to see Pauline finally find the right guy. Now if only she were more than a footnote in this story.
Good story. Good jokes. We get to see where the infamous Pauline French ends up. Good job.
a JPB story is almost better than a ice cold PBR. Another 5 Stars from me. Thanks Bob. Semper Fi!
Just the mere mention of Pauline French causes thoudands of boners . Personally I imagine her to resemble Anna Nice Smith .. not sure why but she does. Thanjs JPB
OK, so 95% of women are lying cheating cruel soulless betraying whores, and the other 5% just haven't got caught yet. Except for Pauline. And maybe his sister, but she doesn't count since she wouldn't fuck him anyway.
Thanks for the effort, and for not giving a flying fuck what anonymous commenters have to say. You're right.
But it was a long way for a trite, meh, ending.
We have a protagonist who doesn't seem to be too upset over the fact that his wife has another's baby and simply walks out with all the feelings of a turnip and believes sleeping with another man's wife is just something men do.
I really don't understand why people like this guy's stories unless it's for the jokes. Personally, I think the real joke is the story itself.
Whatever your stories, you always have the right injection of levity with the Landing Strip.
Thanks for the story JPB.
My wife thought I was having a heart attack when I was laughing uncontrollably at you cow joke.
So, right at the beginning you gave your protagonist a birth year of 1962 but then when he's walking out of the hospital he's getting texts from his mother-in-law at a time that couldn't possibly be past the late 80's and most likely earlier.
when we get a JPB story.
And with all the favourites, too.
Another one from Bob, he finally married off Pauline, some cool jokes. Best in awhile.
Most of this story is about how the couple met, and jokes at the Landing Strip. With all the action this guy is getting, why does he want to be married? This story should have been called "My Fuckalogue."
"By the time Nancy had the baby we had graduated and Roger had joined the Army and was long gone." The military will deduct court mandated child support from any members pay, to meet the obligation. Even Literotica women, aren't stupid enough not to demand child support. Two Stars.
Pauline gets married and has two kids. Another great read JPB. 5* and a round of PBR. I'm a big fan.
feel like mad libs. All he does is arrange the same old names into the same old situations. If you've read one JPB story you've read them all.
You will write a good story. Unlike this one that got a two from me
It was STILL great for a Sunday morning reread!
Thanking you so very much!!!
Not terrible but really depressing and not well written.it felt really lasy considering the other work but that just my ten cents worth
A full salute to the cow! I do not understand why so many of my fellow comentators take such a negative stance about having fun!
I always like your stories. You are a very good story teller.
This one is weird, because the only place you look for a mate is in a bar.
Kind of a strange.
Hang in there you still write well.
Nice collection of jokes. A classic type of JPB story- man dates many women, some are unfaithful, some are just easy, and then some are keepers. His first wife was an amazing liar- just when I actually sympathized with her, it turned out to be even a worse set of lies. At least she got her back up choice of redhead and didn't get the BTB treatment so many sad suckers on this site clamor for. Keep 'em coming.
This and the four part series Danny are the two JPB stories where Pauline French ends up with the guy.
2 out of 800
A happily ever after tale. With PAULINE FRENCH!!!
Five Stars
Decent jokes too.
Always makes the story a bit nostalgic.
The stand up is just a series of jokes. Was hoping JPB might invest in an actual act before turning the protag loose on the mic. There are some time travel issues but only because of the headstone. Already too many punnet squares in the comments but the one check mark you missed:
She felt my raging boner rub against her when we danced.
I have also wondered if Mr. French is actually Sebastian Cabot?
I wanted him to end up with his sister (pervert that I am)!
You forgot Fatso Frankie Four-eyes.
Thanks for the read.
Some one should suggest to Lit. that it sure would be nice if we could sort an author's stories by date posted. It would make it lots easier to find the new listings for the prolific writers.
Husband gets cheated on leaves wife after child but sleeps with married ladies. I am glad he found a mate.
I usually always give you a 5* rating, but could only give 4 *'s this time.
(1) You had a lot of word mistakes that you usually do not have. Needed better proofreading.
(2) All the jokes at The Landing Strip took away from the story, and were a waste of time...filler if you will. The story would have been better if that part was left out.
But I still always read your stories because you deal with the cheating wives, not the wimpy, cuckolded husbands.
Predictable that Pauline would turn up at last the biggest whore of all as she had run out of "big fat meat" wish them "happy ever after" predictable.
Blue eyes is a recessive gene.
Red hair is a recessive gene.
Brown hair is a dominant gene.
Black hair is a dominant gene.
Brown eyes is a dominant gene.
The odds of the baby getting both recessive genes from parents with dominant genes for other traits also is small.
Yes it can happen, if there are a lot of redheads in both families and a lot of blue eyes in both families, but it would have been common knowledge to Frank that it had happened in his family tree before.
For the most part I do enjoy your stories even if some of the details are a little inaccurate(the biology thing as many people have told you, the age timeline, etc.) What I didn't like about this particular story is you dumping your wife for cheating on you and but having no problem bedding other attached women afterwards. Your sorry excuse is they asked you and you believe you can't say no. You always have a choice dude so stop thinking with your dick head. Oh, and a few of the jokes did make me chuckle a little.
The golf joke was the best part of this story. The rest is a predictable pile of hypocritical trash. Way below your usual talented self.
I have read over 5000 stories on this site some of them two or three times. And your stories not all ways the best but they had that edge that made me want to read more of your stories, You change your style and you got boring as HELL!!! You write like a machine. Maybe it's me in my old age. Here's hoping you keep entertaining others with your stories. I think I'll past on them for now. Thanks for the past!!
I've read all your stories and have never been disappointed. Looking forward to more.
If there's going to be any follow up to this tale, might as well make it about the most fascinated characters in it: Tanya and Rory.
Don't get me wrong - those two are, for sure, scumbags of the highest level: one, a sexual degenerate who couldn't bother to be faithful to the man her depraved mind kept thinking she was in love with; the other, one of her play-toys who already know she seems completely unable to not cheat... and still, the dumbass asked her to marry her!
This whole thing is so delusional... I mean, maybe Rory was overall more sexually satisfying than Frank - I mean, he had to be, given he still was allowed to fuck Janet weeks after her own husband was cut-off. But that fact doesn't at all change the fact that Janet is a genuine sociopath who hasn't have a clue what telling the true looks like. Even for JPB's usually trollops, this girl got major issues... issues that ain't going to be resolve by marrying a fuck buddy that happened to impregnate her.
Rory signed up for a wild ride... every doubtful he'll ultimately enjoy it.. And, fact of the matter is, it would be quite fun watching karma gets a piece of him. That would be a truly good read.
Whole lot of bad jokes and not much else. And a very weak ending. Not that enjoyable for me, but thanks for the effort.
I've read several of the author's stories, but there's always been something wonky about the writing, I didn't realise what until just now...
He uses too few commas.
The ending was pretty lackluster, a weak attempt to play on the title.
So much time has been spent on describing the cheaters he were dating, though they weren't really all that fleshed out characters, but the woman he's going to marry just pops up at the end with the reader knowing little more than her name, and no reason for her sudden interest.
That's outright bad characterisation, and bad plotting quite frankly.
Yeah, JPB is a bit frugal with the commas, but it's not entirely his fault. StangStar always runs out of commas before reaching the end of his stories and JPB, being a good friend, is always happy to give him some of his. It all evens out in the end.
Good story JPB. Thanks!
What was the reason for the wife pursuing him, marrying him and then living the lie? The guy who knocked her up was in college and therefore had potentially a higher upside. She seemed to like the sex with him more as she let him fuck her until 2 weeks before the brat was born while she cut the husband off at a month out. None of it made any sense.
I don't know how many JPB stories I read looking for that gem. But after enough unfinished and weird skree, a gem finally sifts out. This one! Easy 5 stars. Liked the Landing Strip jokes (as usual). Again impressed with the variety -- so many different (in order not to say, perverted) women.
Thanks
Paul in Oklahoma
This story bit the dust when the author started reciting bad jokes, one after another, trying to make them part of the story. Nope, not good.
I love Pauline, think this is one of two that I've read where the protagonist gets her in the end. Really would have liked to beat the shit out of Rory on general principles!
was pure evil.
it was fine for her to want sex with other partners, but to lie to his face to keep him faithful while she spread her legs is selfish to the core. i mean, yes he is an idiot for believing that hot garbage excuse she gave him. but she still used it.
what i'v learned from this story is women are simple creatures. if you got a big dick, or a talented tongue....they'll seek you out. guys don't go around talking about other women typically. maybe the 5% of frat boys. but women seem to be frat boys in this story 100%, passing around men like party favors. that, or poaching from each other's men after the other women were stupid enough to brag about it.
More jokes than story but still funny! I always like all the familiar names. But I do have to admit he was dumber than a stump. Maybe next time someone (or ones) with some smarts?
Bob is One of the worst authors here, he is a cuck but doesn't have the balls to admit it! Every story is in its core the same! Some loser is getting cucked by an insane girlfriend or wife who is a cock addict, behaving like a Cheap Porn actress Going for some Crystal meth. i never got to read his stories completly because Bob is riding
cliches again And again to eternity, And he is Not giving much effort to Hide it or Come up with a new plot! The only Thing that changed is hubby Went from wimp to whatever ... A moron who married a Crack whore. The plot is so meaninhless that whole Parts are exchangeable! No skill And no talent
Reading this one again, just for the jokes this time. If you hang in there, Bob always gets better.
Pauline French? Married and out of circulation? Bob, how COULD you??? :)
GA
Light fare for a break from the mundane and the serious. While having bad luck with his steadies, he ripped off the tail of practically every piece he bumped into. Lucky man having great success from word going abroad about his oral skills. Good romp, no losers.