by mirandalynne
It started out well enough-but there should have been more details about the actual lovemaking. Good start-needs a solid finish!
More descriptions are needed! more time with the details would have taken this story a long way!
Thanks for writing!
sexmate
I would hate to see part 2. Basically there can't be any comments on a story with no details. :NO DETAIL, nothing to COMMENT ABOUT.
a good story, but too short, and not enough details concerning the lovemaking (fucking). next time stretch it out a little more.
pretty dumb.
The excitment is not in the detail it's in the why, who and how they got there.
More details in the actual fucking and breeding would have been much better in this "HOT" story!
The author did good on the bild up and the tease and then boom nothing. He forgot the good part. He can try a part 2 to make it better but I dont think its worth it. He should just rewrite it and submit a fixed version, one with sex in it this time
in-experienced--Grown ups know the details--The excitement is in the surrender
Would have liked the story to be longer and the sex to have more build up before they became parents. Still it was a great story - just to short.
The story and premise were good, just way too short! I thought it was a bit crass when she asked her dad to fuck her instead of make love with/to her. :)
Would like to see an extended version of this written!