All Comments on 'He/She is Typing Pt. 01'

But also very sad. Her husband had an affair and she knows what it did to her, if she has an affair, even one of the heart, she is consciously choosing to hurt her husband.

That won’t be her intention but it has 2 consequences: how can she judge and condemn her husband for his actions and second, how can she not feel guilt?

On the bad side, that style made for a tedious read, and the constant self-involvement makes your protag look self absorbed and self impressed to me.

IDK that either she nor Allan is someone I would want to know or hang out with. I come from a family of school people, and know that this stuff usually ends up badly.

Good to see you here, I hope that despite the title you'll lose the format.

It will be interesting to see how others take this.

High marks for the good reasons, low for unlikeable characters, I can get why the score is middling. I foured it.

Yawn, AntColony what an absolute bore you are Yawn!

Rather avant-garde vignette-style approach freely using social-media writing mixed with some narrative and with changing POV. As busy acquaintances gradually get intimate vicariously yet really.

I enjoyed your story. I can’t wait until the next installment.

I have enjoyed reading this and hope for more. However, your work reads in a peculiar way. The story flows as if a person was typing memories and inserting thoughts an interacting character and ancillary individuals may have been thinking.

I am not saying this is a horrible way to convey your ideas, but expect low scoring or perhaps worse many readers jumping in and leaving after half a page of reading for lack of imagination and adaptable reading skills.

Thanks for sharing

or tedious? Here's one hint: this is a story, not a screen play. It is tiresome to be told so many logistical details that add nothing to the story and way too much to the tedium. If you were a stage director it would make sense that you would tell each actor where to stand, how to move, what to wear, what to hold, what expression they should have on their face, what sounds and motions they should make to accentuate a line or a mood. In a work of prose your reader provides all that for you, its part of the fun of reading versus watching.

"They entered a grand parlor, trying their best to avoid drawing attention to themselves, and their relationship." That's all we need. We each see our own version of that parlor, the distance between them, the looks they give the surrounding guests and each other. We see how they might be dressed, the clothes, the shoes, the jewelry. But who cares, and what difference does that make to the drama? We, the reader, provide all the logistics and the details and the ornamentation. You provide the plot, the story, and the dialogue. That's all; that's everything. You are way overworking the dough.

As to the plot, God, could it be any more lame? Her husband fucked around, so that's supposed to be justification for her progressively and determinedly entering a new love, romance, and now sexual relationship. Its obvious she lacks the will or the energy to reconcile, so why doesn't she at least preserve her own dignity and self respect and admit to her husband that the wound is too deep, the damage to their relationship too severe to be healed. Well, we know why, don't we. She's the exact same character as her cheating husband: wants to have her cake and eat it too. Wants to take advantage of a new thrilling exciting relationship with a new lover, but doesn't want to take responsibility for her slow deliberate seduction, her failure as a wife and mother. In fact, its the secrecy and betrayal that makes the romance and sex so intense and enjoyable. Well, at least she now understands how and why her husband cheated on her. Its because the marriage simply isn't that important.

So, just another shallow tepid distant marriage that dies because a more novel and exciting relationship has become an option. And regardless of the damage or the temporariness of this new relationship, she is just too fucking selfish and dishonest to decline, or at least delay until after the divorce.

Thanks for the effort, but we've already read this story, a thousand times. And your attempt to make it original through the tedious drip drip drip of the seduction and betrayal is mind numbing, not mind stimulating.

Hey, author here. Just wanted to say I really appreciate the comments, in particular the ones that take the time to point out what kind of worked and what certainly didn't. I'm not fluffing when I say that detailed comments are more appreciated on my end than a higher score would've been. Thanks and keep 'em coming if you must.

This story was so much fun to read. I read anonymous' comments and it was ridiculous. Those little details are what made this story, I thought. The innocent, chance meeting, the slow getting-to-know each other, the humor, day-to-day life all made the story.

If anything, I thought the rather sudden mutual masturbation session was a little too sudden. I'd have liked it better if Joanna had just showed him the wet spot on her panties and Alan just how hard he was underneath his pants, leaving some mystery and teasing for another time, building up the sexual tension even more. But that's not meant as a criticism, just what I thought could have made it even better.

All-in-all, your storytelling is masterful!

Didn't really care for this,. Maybe it will grow on me.