All Comments on 'Heart of the Prairie'

A lot of interesting ideas here help bring life to the cliche-ridden loving wives category. Keep up the good work.

A nigh-masterful, literary treatment of the flip, dark side of the John Mellancamp song " Small Town ". If I was inclined to quibble, one could argue that perhaps the character of Bonnie's father could have been developed more.

Yet the tale led so well with a literal slam bang intro. Then F.M. shifted to a lower steady Willa Cather-esque pace as he gave us a sense of the badlands setting, then transitioned into a quicker, loping, whodunnit gear. Finally the narrator took literal leave on a Sinclair Lewis ' Babbitt ' chord.

The pace changed seamlessly with an author who seems to be the zenith of his game.This was a brooding but undeniably poignant adaption of what lies beneath the resident personas of those little burgs by the highway where everyone knows everything about everybody...almost.

Very well crafted story. You are just getting better and better! Can't wait for the next story!

story on this site!!!!!

A well told story....really loved it. Nobody can completely fault the wife and her lover, though what they were doing was very wrong. The father is a real villain.

It ended a bit quickly in comparison to the build up. You could have milked it a bit more. However, the writing was beautiful as usual. This was an incredibly original tale, so complex that you couldn't blame Bonnie for her deception. It was her lover who was the true cuckold. It is hard to get full closure when the wife is dead. Did she have absolutely no feelings for him? Was there any guilt on her part? There are a few devices that could have provided that insight (I.e. finding and reading a diary, a close friend comes to share about what the wife disclosed to her, etc.). Something like that could have provided more depth to the story.

Excellent. I think I look forward to your postings now more than any other.

Once again, Hemingway would be proud.

A real joy to read. Thanks.

Even the father isn't a total villain.

Yes, he worried about his ranch. But honestly, how much value can a ranch's value fall? You just need to move the cows a bit farther along.

He had a sense of history, a sense of worry about social changes. What he said was true, even if his motives were tarnished.

BUT...yeah...he pimped his daughter out. He did all three of them wrong 'for the greater good'. And people who think that way tend to do the most awful things.

Does anyone think that the father WANTED to do this?

A economically written tragedy, in the shape of a half a heart...which suits because no one was heartless in this tale...just half hearted...except the doctor.

Thanks

this has me in quandary... A many of husband never learn the true story as why their wife married them... A lot of us are in umpteen place on the wife's dance card... And never in first place.. This is a great story of life ,,, one of the best reflecting real life..

Great story, which uses a frustrating sense of impotency to leave you thinking about the characters long after you pass the last word.

You caught a lot of the attitudes pretty near perfectly. At least, it fits in pretty well with what I remember from having lived not too far from there when I was a teenager.

Hemingway would have liked the theme, I think. But I think he would have thought it too prolix. Just as well you're not trying to be Hemingway, then, innit? Had to give this one 5 stars; you made my heart ache in sympathy for the poor doctor.

FD45 - There's a reason we have an old proverb that says "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

Thanks for sharing.

You're such a gifted writer. I've read every one of your stories.

outstanding 5

It was almost a foregone conclusion as to Bonnie cheating, considering the category. But

The reason and result of the "affair" was a very nice twist; as was the cause of the accident.

Well done and thank you for your hard work.

Woodmanone

Death to a cheating fucking whore and she really was one and to the pimp town that pimped her. Good story.

A fine story and a great insight into small town politics. As for the father I disagree with some commentators by saying he was first class piece of scum.

A well thought out story. Keep them coming.

Nothing more to say.

Well thought out. And at last, a new plot twist!!

Thank you...

You have put together a good twist to the cheating wife story. I even feel sorry for Holden and to a degree, Bonnie. I would like to have known the type of person Bonnie was, but the story flowed well without it. You could have toned down the romantic interest of the insurance agent some. It seemed that you were forcing it. The expressed empathy alone would have read better then having her climb into bed with him. Letting him come realize that he was interested in a relationship when she left perfect.

It is a really good story. 5*.

Thanks,

Dan

Agree, a pretty original story as far as I can remember. You put a lot of elements into the story and dropped the bomb right at the end without a clue to the readers. Well, that is not right, there were a few clues early on, but too subtle for this reader at least.

The underlying premise is oh so true. Small towns all over America are dying and you would be surprised at how many ghost towns there are in parts of the upper Midwest. The loss of railroad connections, the lack of jobs, the absorption of small farms into larger ones all lead to a lack of jobs. Pretty soon the stores close because they can't compete with a larger town thirty miles away, the gas station closes. the grain elevator closes and the last straw is the school, the focal point of the town. When the young people get bussed ten miles away the last remnant is the church, which often still gets used on Sunday and for other social occasions. There are lots of grand brick schools in the Midwest that are gradually falling down because of no money for maintenance and nothing but memories of children in the rooms.

If you have any interest, go to this site:

http://www.ghostsofnorthdakota.com/

Super presentation.

it's a fiver with a kick

Wow, very original considering it's in Loving Wives. A tragedy, on many levels.

An incredible story.The irony is that Miller ended up hastening the demise,the doctor liked it there and would have found someone who loved him.The one issue is the likelyhood of the doc not knowing was small,if he called the office and found out she didn't work mornings,someone at the ranch getting pissed and spilling the beans,you name it.Still an fm special....

One slight typo the investigator says the truck is yellow,but when he,gets to holden it is green....

Great writing, well thought out,and engagingly tragic. 5 stars! Thanks!

Pure evil and an insidious plot against both the young lover, the dead whore wife and the husband. She was a whore, bought and paid for and daddy was a pimp.

JUST GREAT WRITING!

to the rest of the trash written in the last couple of days your ernest hemmingway.

No one is consistently doing it better on Lit lately. TY for writing.

Probably the best I've read at this site in a long time. Thank you.

Can'tby says she is a whore, that's not true, the father and the towns rulers were whores. The father forced her into their union. And let her cheat on the side. Now that is a whore, the wife was just used by the male whores to get the doctor to stay in town.

Veery well done. You telegraphed the cheating early in the story but I sure didn't see the twists and turns coming. One of your best efforts if not THE best. Sure would like to see a sequel with the insurance adjuster though.

As always thank you for writing.

Kate

Was a great story but ......who is Jason Taylor ?

Damn good super story! Only 5 ***** are for voting.

I hate to fuss, but you erroneously switched empathy and sympathy.....at least according to, your description......

But we'll written and, in the end, tragic.

I might have enjoyed some form of retribution against those involved in the conspiracy.

Perhaps something clever.....in a follow-up story??

That was a well written, and quite enjoyable. I'm impressed that you managed to come up with a new twist to the cheating wife story.

Great plot, u cant even hate the cheaters, just old dad and his cronies

Simply brilliant.

That was a truly well written story, salute!

as always

This is one of those very rare stories where I'm unable to actually hate the cheating wife - usually the greatest balancing factor in a story is that the husband's an unbelievable asshole undeserving of love, in this case she's actually something like sympathetic and the husband isn't the "real" lover that's been cheated.

Not completely sympathetic , of course. She did have a choice, and she chose to bow down to her daddy's wishes. Interesting that she wasn't willing to compromise on her job, the first thing she'd earned for herself, but she was willing to stab her first love, Holden, in the back and marry some other guy. I can't help feeling that he got cheated more than her actual husband.

It's also kind of sad that Bonnie was the one who had to pay the price and not the ones actually guilty of manipulating and ruining everyones' lives.

Highly original, well written story. Excellent work. Enjoyed it from start to finish.

Exceptional!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!

Five*****

M1

Wow - I didn't see this one coming. One of the saddest stories on the site.

Pickup trucks & gun racks in the West make a tire iron a really bad move.

Lucky not to be shot.

One of the saddest and most powerful tales on lit. I, for one dont feel sorry for the woman. Not only did she leave her true love but she betrayed a fine specimen of a man while doing so. Her death was sad and unnecessary. Such a waste. Rulaa diyaa aaj tune bhai.

I think at one time or another I have read almost every cheating wife story on this site. Many are good but few truly stand out as exceptional. This would be a great short story no matter where it was posted. Your visuals are great...you feel like you are "in" the story. One of, if not THE very best story I have read here. Congratulations!

He writes some good stories but I just don't get his hatred of this female, who was set up by the father and town. Aren't they more whores than this poor girl who is used and at least she still loved her original boyfriend. We

Should be in the non-erotic category.

I first scanned the story, realized it was something different, then read it from start to finish. Very nice.

It's great as it is,....... the comments show that, but this is a tale that could be so much more. It almost leaves me feeling like this was your outline more than a finished story. All the characters and the actual tale left me wanting more..........the answers, the goings on.....you did not let us get to know your actors. You gave us a great snapshot........it leaves me wanting to see the portrait.

Thank you for your read.

Dan

Thanks for sharing...

she was a whore! she sold her cunt, that makes her a whore and then spent every day with her "true love." i dont care about her reasons, she made the guy love her and she sold him her cunt so that makes her a whore. he loved her, he cared for her, he took care of her, and she was fucking someone else every day. it does not matter if it was her "true love" or her pimp, SHE WAS A WHORE! glad the cheating whore died in the story. what was she going to do, wait and breed with her lover and pass it off as husbands, or maybe wait 20 years and tell him it was all a lie? SHE WAS A WHORE! now she is a dead whore. hubby should have pissed on the marker, kicket it over and then shit on it, SHE WAS A CHEATING WHORE! now do you understand my observations for the wife or did i sugar coat it a little too much.

by one of the best writers in the category!

And to the "anonymous" would commented that it was too bad Bonnie paid the entire price and not the ones that orchestrated the mess ...

Well first ... that's one thing that makes this story reflective of life ... often the ones that pay aren't the ones that started it. That being said ... ol' man Miller is certainly going to pay a heavy price the rest of his life. He knows damn well who painted the canvas of his daughter's death.

Thanks ever so much FM ... keep 'em coming!

Very well done. Enjoyed he read.

Not really a loving wives tale though. She was never really his wife...Sadly this is a tale of fraud and conspiracy. A bizarre and terrible fantasy.

Writers constantly try to dream up plausible plots, and it isn't easy. This left me annoyed at the dead wife, but satisfies as a reader. Well done!

from one of my favourite Literotica authors! Thank you.

One great story in a pile of cockold shit, but one story here or there keeps me coming back. Thank you for the effort and talent!

Nice twist. How about a prequel? A story from Holden's POV?

How? A 4 star story in Non-erotic, but one star in any of the erotic categories.

well written. Gotta say I worried about cantbuymy. His comments suggest he has some real bad issues.

Sort of.

He could have just pressured her to bend to his will. He could have arranged things for Holden to 'go away' (and no, that doesn't mean just dead. Even 'true love' might not survive a nice cash payout and a good job lined up somewhere else.)

No. He knew he was screwing over his daughter. He loved her and WISHED the best for her...but he also wanted her near home and wanted the best for the town so it would be a place for his daughter and other daughters to stay with their families to live and...well...love.

So he arranged a faustian bargain where he cuckolded this poor doctor so his daugther could have a slice of happiness. Not the whole pie, but a slice. Life is sometimes like that. He didn't love the doctor. He owed the doctor nothing.

I won't argue with those who think he's pondscum. I don't know all of his inner motivations. Maybe I've giving him more credit than he deserves. I just see a complex and difficult position for everyone.

I do have to say...considering how diffident the girl was to the doctor's wooing and how...distraught she was on her honeymoon, one wonders at how willfully blind he was to their 'true love'. You don't want someone who doesn't want you. But he did. And he pushed the issue. He ignored her willfullness and attitude, putting it down to independence in an ostrich-like manner.

I won't go so far as to say that he deserved it. I will say that this car wreck had a lot more actors in it than the evil trifecta. Lust can make you blind...and stupid, no matter how many letters you have behind your name.

. . . of life in far too many small towns in these United States. I grew up in the suburbs of a major eastern city where a ten mile trip down the road would mean passing through four or five towns. I went to college in far South Texas and came to understand the sort of distances this story talks about. Small towns in rural parts of the country are often dominated by a few relatively wealthy families.

MacComber has done a fine job of pulling facets of small town life into a well done story. The scenes with the insurance investigator cause me some believability problems but other than those two scenes the story works.

Simply for your masterful use of the language. Because you posted this story in Loving Wives, throughout the first half of the story, the reader anticipated the subsequent discovery. The widespread nature of the conspiracy was intriguing, perhaps a little unbelievable. All in all, you kept the reader's attention to the end. Good stuff.

I've read a lot of good stories on LIT published over the last 10 years or so and can't say this is the best,but it is definitely one of the best ever published here. Succinct, atmospheric, you feel what life in a small town would be like. When I first realized what was happening, I couldn't help hating the bitch because the doctor's life and happy memories have been transformed into nothing but pain. But as others noted, the cheating wife possibly paid the highest price. To have to live a lie, to have to pretend to love a man you don't, and hide the love of the man you really do love. That would be no kind of life. And the lover had to watch the woman he loved go to another man every day. This is a true tragedy, and a good one. The plot is an original one, in a sense. Women fuck and marry men for all kinds of reasons, and the variety is what makes Loving Wives an interesting category. Again, a really, really good story.

Karma caught up with a despicable cheating wife. It's too bad more karma wasn't dished to the father and 'true love' but that's life. Sometimes one person pays anothers karma debt, too bad for the wife, but she made her choice.

that says it all

Thanks.

?

but a bit depressing and no sex

and the most original storyline I've read in almost forever. An excellent story!

During hundreds and thousands years many princesses were obliged to marry strange rulers, because the kingdom's interest was that or this. There are cultures, where the custom is same nowdays. The rural India is a good example. Such custom is not the mainstream in the Western Culture, but it may be in a marginal case like this fantastic story showed well.

@Anon Every cheating wife and fiancee story belongs to Loving Wives.......

The sex scen centered stories have more other hubs..........

That is other thing, but I prefer such stories, where the husband changes the cheating wife to a other woman with good revenge (I try to write such stories (storiesonline.net)), but the good tragedy story reaches my soul too..........

To a gun fight. Only a city boy would do that!

Great read. 5*

5* for another story that was engaging and well written. While arranged marriages happen in many cultures, in the US it is the exception now. That being said, fidelity is expected. Feudal Europe might have been an exception, but not in the states with its puritanical heritage. I would say she was a victim too, but that's not the case. She had a choice and what she did was wrong. He was the only victim and it is good that he shakes the dust from his shoes as he leaves that putrid town. It is unfortunate there was not more retribution for the father and the lover.

Well done FM. I'm glads to find readable stories on here once in a while, especially ones like this. You wrote a true gem here. Thanks for sharing!!

Interesting spin on a cheating wife story. Thankfully there are a few good writers left on Lit. Thanks for the read FM.

love the story but two things popped out with the last reading. the truck changed colors from yellow to green. yellow more unique, green was probably your first choice but you realized it was too common a color for the country. and a job 50 miles away is a 100 mile commute, 50 each way. you probably changed that too, after you started, but she would have been doing almost twice that because she went in the other direction to daddy's farm.

all the bullshit aside, loved the story. 5

Sad and outlandish, but had a bit of mystery and some heart. Find it hard to believe that the doctor would not have noticed that she didn't love him-I mean really. A lot of SOD required, almost distractingly too much. Presumably, the second time he met her, to take her to lunch, before papa put the pressure on her, she would have told the doctor: "sorry, not interested, I'm in love with another man," and that would have been it. Oh well, it was still entertaining.

Great story, great mystery but not very erotic

This story is only days old but I have already read it 3 times - it got a 5 from me. It managed to give the reader a feel for what such parts of America must be like (I'm in the UK which has - what even I know to be - a chalk-and-cheese different feel to it in terms of space; we are sometimes accurately described as the 'crowded isle').

She was a cheat - yes cannot avoid that, but what came through so strongly was what the father and the "town fathers" were trying to do to keep the community alive. But I'm left with an abiding feeling of real sadness. She was described at one point as being vivacious and bright (or words to that effect) - managing to be with her lover almost daily must have been a major part of that. So that is >exactly< how she must have been feeling when she made her final 'heart of the prairie' manoeuver onto the other side of the road. How utterly sad!

Horrible content. That there are people out there who are like this is a sad testament of our world today. My God it makes me wish sometimes that the world actually ended in Dec. 2012. You really can't call this a cheating wife tale. It actually would be a cheating town tale with the Doc as the ultimate cuckold. You're a great author and deserve all kudos for your talent but this story just hurts.

Damn

wife was also not good even if she married doctor because her father ask/told her in end she was cheating wife. doctor love her 100% but she love her boyfriend. if she really was good person then she would have told doctor that she didnt love him he maybe find someone else but she and all others just play with doctor as he was some toy

Anom": is right it is sadness if u ask me would have loved to see a happy ending with Nicole

Who was more damaged by the events in the story. The whole town? or Doc? or Bonnie? Mr Miller? Calloway? The innocent victim of the accident? or his wife?

I do believe that even the sheriff knew what happened.. Great writing and fine plotting.

You killed one Mr Taylor Johnson for no reason, later brought his wife into the story, but did not take her any further.

Even the insurance investigator was shown as a sexy lady who did not take it any further.

The good Doctor should have at least given a part of his insurance money to Mrs Johnson.

Excellent story with enough pain to touch all involved. Great pacing toward a surprising but very effective conclusion.

Any chance you are ready to surprise us with the next chapter about what Allison does to ruin Stephanie's plans for Nathan (My Aim is True?)

Just love the concept of "Heart of the Prairie", it's so cool even though it's dangerous

Love the story. Thank You!

Very sad heart wrenching story.

By one of the very finest on this site. Thank You!

that was a tale told well.

Fine tale, with good characterizations and surprise mystery solution at the end. But a sad tale of ruined relationships. Dan. 4 stars. The adultery was really just a sidelight.

That was excellent....bill

Wish I could give it ten stars. You are such a good writer. My heart broke for the wife of the man killed by the cheating slut.

The entire town pimps her out to the doctor and then makes her a real whore by facilitating her becoming a cheating piece of shit.

A star-crossed couple destroyed by the brutal self-interest of those around them. Maybe more correctly a star-crossed trio. This is one of the most moving stories I have read on this site.

Damn I wish I had your talent.