by aamirhydkhan
Just no, absolutely not.
I appreciate that English doesn’t seem to be your first language and I sincerely admire your efforts to submit a story in said language. Unfortunately, the type of English that you’re using is very very formal and incredibly outdated. The average person doesn’t think or speak in the format that you’re using to tell your story, so as a result it comes across as very unrealistic, overtly formal and very disjointed which in turn makes it difficult to read.
Best of luck with your writing, regards
Tess (UK)