All Comments on 'If You Don't Tell'

great story and the plot is good.lae is fucking over Q and he is going to be hurt when he finds out about her affairs.she fucking and he not messing around how do she say she love him.you make Q look like a chum and he a nice guy trying to do the right thing.a strong brother been used by a lesbian,that a pretty picture.

its longer than what i usually read here, but it was nicely written. i think some circumstances in the story could have been shortened.

and i would have prefered, w/ its lenght, that the story would have proceeded faster. it seems to be stuck in its 'playa' mode and really not much drama going on. aside from Q, everybody seems just intent on getting laid and covering their asses. and really dont get a damn about strenghtening their relationships.

is this a series? cause, i think, it needs some serious ending.

enjoyed the story and characters; the story should have been broken in the three or more parts. I hope there is additonal characters

Longer than usual but that is the cost for the depth of the characters. I loved the multiple plot lines. How about one on Dre? Is there a part 2?

SleeplessinMD

I wanted to thank everyone for their critiques, but the story a barely half-finished. I submitted it here because I wanted the honest opinion of authors who not only enjoy what I write, but are also critical for the same reasons they enjoy it. For all of you who have posted, thank you very much. For those of you who haven't...well get off your lazy asses and post!

To those of you who want to see more, I'll be submitting the story in a weekly format. It'll take a few weeks to get to the point where I last left off, but I promise you, it'll be worth it. Once again, thank you for all of your help and keep the witty criticisms rolling!

it took me a few days to get through all 26 pages... but every time i had a chance, i was right back at it. this was truly an amazing work. i can't wait for the next segment(s)!!

i, too, like the multiple storylines, and being able to see the different thoughts/reactions to the various scenarios. i wanted to cheer, to cry, to hit and kick and scream, depending on who was doing what. and i have to tell you, some of what you wrote really hit true with me -- i've felt some of those same feelings, been in some of those same situations -- and you hit it dead on. the jealousy, the anger, the hurt, the betrayal, the despair, the confusion...i felt it.

keep up the awesome work... i think you have quite a few avid readers - i know i'm one!!

*sighs*

i MEANT to leave a 100000000 score, lol -- but in my complete and utter awe at the story, i forgot to actually VOTE.... sorry!! anyway, here's my vote, lol.

There was no way in hell that I would read 20+ chapters in a story unless it caught my attention the whole way through, and this definitely did. My favorite part was the dialogue; damn, it was so realistic and hilarious and it just seemed so effortless for you. I know a lot of stories keep the dialogue at a minimum and still fail because it's not flowing right.

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I thought the pace was perfect. The plot is intriguing; the only thing that makes me sad is the lack of sacred love amongst the characters. The only person keeping it honest and real is Dre, and that's just crazy. Anyway, I'm about to read your next installment... can't wait to see Mike come out of the closet... I can FEEL that's where it's going :)

Your story was interesting but slow moving and I spent a long time reading the first 17 pages. I usually do not read any story that goes on this long but you got me interested. There were so many stereotypes in your story, not being critical but I have to state that if a white writer portrayed Blacks as you have and if a novel was written about whites talking about Blacks like the Blacks in your story treat whites there would be a lot of hell raised. Maybe I can come back later and finish your story. Thank you for writing.

I did enjoy it more this time, maybe I have mellowed and my prejudice did not show up as much. I was raised in the South, quite prejudiced but started getting away from that when I reached my fifties. I have taken the N word out of my vocabulary and have tried to be a friend to everyone I know although I still do not allow myself to be pushed around. I am now 75 and read a lot, watch a little TV, look for part time work (I am a registered nurse but can't get work due to my age) and I have a lot of time to read etc. There are a lot of truths in your story and I have learned a few things. Thank you for writing.

This tale is beating me down it just goes nowhere.