All Comments on 'Jessica’s Guinea Pig'

Really enjoyed ur story,but the ending was really poorly written.He's sneaking up on her...then "CRACK". What happened? "it must have been a chip in my neck, and the impact had smashed it. What "impact"? Nothing happened to him as he was sneaking up behind her.Then he grabs the remote and it causes him to be in control of her??? How? He never injected her with a chip to be able to use the remote on her!It's almost like you forgot a couple of paragraph's.But like I wrote,I enjoyed the story until the end.

I think this idea had a lot of potential, and I think you were off to a great start! But I really think you rushed the ending a little too much.

I'm not saying you need to drag it out into several chapters (although there's definitely room for that with this story!) - the problem is you build everything up nicely to the climax, and then you don't quite deliver. I think just one minor change would make a big improvement: spend more time on the last scene. That's where all the tension in the story is, and you want to make full use of that tension.

Also, a couple of things in the ending confused me. What was the "vial" that dropped and broke? And why did the chip work instantly on Jessica?

Don't get me wrong - I really did enjoy this. It's a great idea for a story, and while the ending left a bit to be desired (although that's just my opinion!), it was still a great read.

All the best, and keep writing!

Enjoyed the story, but (yep, me too) the ending was a bit quick. Still, it was enjoyable. I hope you have a part two. At least give Jessica a taste of her own medicine! Looking forward to your next story.

I hope Jessica gets to feel the heat.

keep writing - good build up, but agreed, too quick of an ending!

Keep writting. I love how you built up the story and thing the plot took some drastic turns. I loved it and hope to find more stories from you. I will also give you feed back on each one.

Seriously, this might be the hottest idea I have ever seen on Literotica.

Really a hot Idea, but I think his humiliation could have been longer and more detailed described. Perhaps even with both of them meeting or so.

Great story, loved it, now it just needs to continue, maybe with both of them chipped, controlled either by a third party, or stealing the remote back and forth.

fantastic story. Very hot!

Mat, buddy, you certainly have a vivid imagination.!

Your colorful account of what must be many a young man's wet dreams make riveting reading, especially for juveniles.

I hope your writing is as profitable as it is prolific. Keep up the good work.

Jessica sends her love....

Ended way to soon, he should have been teased more. I almost shot a load when he came in art class......

wow, i love all your stories I've read so far but this one is the best. please make this a series.

Awesome story! And call me shallow but I love that it's free of weird spelling mistakes. A well-written and exciting read. Thanks!

Zaftig! Susurrus! Some of my favorite words! Loved the story, would have loved a bunch more at the end too. Thank you!

Enjoyed the story. I expected a little more detail of Matthew's predictment at her hands, or a bit more of his revenge at the end, but It was good.

Love this story and have enjoyed it for YEARS! i come back to it every 6 months or so and every time i find myself getting so into the charactors and the story and the bizzar sci-fi nature of this very grounded story.

i fully respect that you have other projects going on and that im sure you also have a life to live but i would JUMP at the oppertunity to read more of this story! The imagry of him getting angry and grabbing her labcoat just as she activates the chip forcing him to his knees as he messes his pants. WOW! there just arent many stories that scratch that itch for me and this one really does.

It was a fun story and I give it 5 stars. However, I wish it had been longer and more drawn out, detailing the many times she used the remote on him. It would have been an even better story had the writer turned the story into a D/s story with the girl using him for sex, with her keeping him hard for hours as she used him, only letting him cum after she was satisfied. Maybe even turn it into some form of relationship and love at the end. Point is, it could have been an epic story with many possibilities, but it was a quick good story. I’m ok with that as the writing was good. Looks like the writer doesn’t post here any more, and that is a shame.