All Comments on 'Keep This Secret Pt. 01'

*record scratch* I bet you're wondering how I got here. Well, I'm going to tell you. I'll tell you as quickly as I can. Believe me, I'd love to tell you. Hang on, I'll tell you in a bit. How I got here was -- you see, this is the intro, and we're going to move into the part you actually wanted to read, but we have to -- hello? Are you still there? I promise I'll tell you how this happened in a minute, I just need to do a... just a *couple* more establishing paragraphs first, okay?

I like the idea, and I get the point of an intro, but please, at some point, you have to stop telling the reader about how they're in the intro. Either do in medias res or get to the point, don't narrate the setup.

Sorry if this sounded harsh, I just thought that first paragraph kept getting funnier the more I wrote.

Pls continue this series

Should have been longer, to get the full setup out there.

Right now, I'm looking at this tasty worm in the water, but still distracted by the shining thing behind it. Always set the hook before ending the first chapter.

There is a complete absence of nonconensual elements. Not even your slave story line has any.

Yawn

I’m grateful that there was no NC