All Comments on 'Maria and Her Mistake Ch. 01'

It wasn't very good from a story aspect.

Yes, it's taboo, so it fits here. Sorry; that is about as positive as I can get.

YOU DID AN EXCELLENT JOB AT YOUR IMAGINATIVE WRITING AND YOUR ENGLISH WAS NEAR PURRFECT! IT'S SO EASY FOR A FUCK WIT ANON TO MAKE A DEROGATORY COMMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE NO MIND FOR WRITING THEMSELVES! BECAUSE I AM (WERE) A SENIOR EDITOR THE ONLY THING I'D HAVE DONE DIFFERENT WAS WHEN MALCOLM GOT HER HOME (IF I WERE MALCOLM OF COURSE) I'D HAVE MADE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER AND BUILD UP INTO THAT WILD ANIMAL WHAM-BAM THANK YOU MA'AM SEX. AFTER ALL SHE'S NOT A STREET WHORE BUT AN 18 YEAR YOUNG LADY! THANK YOU FOR A GREAT STORY. YOUR NOW MY FAVORITE FOR BOTH CATEGORIES. KEEP UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS!

Had a great start, but the middle got real muddled. You spent to much time describing every little thing. The story actually suffers from bulid up in the wrong places and what is this macho syndrom of not pleasing the woman? But it’s okay to have five paragraphs about giving head? This story was a mistake.