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They stayed in the bed for a while until they dozed off. It was close to midnight when Malcolm woke her up and asked her if she was hungry. She squinted at him and said yes. They silently ate their grilled cheese sandwich. Both were freshly showered and still dazed from what had happened. It was Malcolm who finished eating first and he left the dining table with Maria still nibbling on her now cold sandwich. She waited for him to say something or even anything to her but he didn't. Maria was still sitting at the dining table when she heard him closed his bedroom door. She wanted to cry because she realized that she might have made the biggest mistake in her life.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 6 years agoHad a great start, but the middle got real muddled. You spent to much time describing every little thing. The story actually suffers from bulid up in the wrong places and what is this macho syndrom of not pleasing the woman? But it’s okay to have five paragraphs about giving head? This story was a mistake.
RanDog025about 6 years agoYOU DID AN EXCELLENT JOB AT YOUR IMAGINATIVE WRITING AND YOUR ENGLISH WAS NEAR PURRFECT! IT'S SO EASY FOR A FUCK WIT ANON TO MAKE A DEROGATORY COMMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE NO MIND FOR WRITING THEMSELVES! BECAUSE I AM (WERE) A SENIOR EDITOR THE ONLY THING I'D HAVE DONE DIFFERENT WAS WHEN MALCOLM GOT HER HOME (IF I WERE MALCOLM OF COURSE) I'D HAVE MADE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER AND BUILD UP INTO THAT WILD ANIMAL WHAM-BAM THANK YOU MA'AM SEX. AFTER ALL SHE'S NOT A STREET WHORE BUT AN 18 YEAR YOUNG LADY! THANK YOU FOR A GREAT STORY. YOUR NOW MY FAVORITE FOR BOTH CATEGORIES. KEEP UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS!
Anonymousabout 6 years agoIt wasn't very good from a story aspect.
Yes, it's taboo, so it fits here. Sorry; that is about as positive as I can get.
