by cleverfox
you're very good at writing and I'm intrigued by where its going to go from here.
Wonderful first chapter. Congratulations on becoming a Literotica author.
Please write more chapters for us.
Hello all. Thank you so much for the votes and the favorites and the comments! I am so grateful for the warm welcome.
I just submitted chapter two...a few pages shorter than the first, but a good read, I hope. Look for it in a few days.
Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Have you ever shopped for a birthday card? When you get there you can't help but notice the Hallmark ones. They're pretty, elegant, and the inscription inside is always very flowery.... but there's never anything interesting about them. So, you pass them by, and head over to the Shoebox cards because they're hilarious, and they always inspire a feeling.
This story kind of reminded me of that. It was well written, elegant, and very flowery. Sort of like one of Fabio's romance novels. It just... wasn't very interesting. A lot of detail... but no real passion. Nothing gripped me, or made me yearn for more. It just felt like an endless description of scenery without any direct focus on the characters, their dialogue, or how they felt. I appreciate your skill... this just didn't make me feel anything, and I need that to enjoy a story.
Thank you for a really good start and characters we can hope to see more of. I can't wait to read the rest.. Bravo!
I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your story, and the reality it can be. Look forward to read more!
What an absolutely great beginning to what promises to be a very absorbing story.