All Comments on 'Mirror to the Soul'

by cookingwithgas

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  • 53 Comments
JoeBetterBNiceJoeBetterBNice3 months ago

I found this to be well written snippet. Not much story here, but it is a flash story, so not a lot development possible. Still, I could only give it 3 stars, as I have read flash stories that were really good. This was okay, but didn't really go anywhere new or original. I thought it was written well, just didn't really have a lot happen or a clever enough twist that one sometimes sees in flash stories.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percy3 months ago

Sitting around not talking for two years!

4

jflindersjflinders3 months ago

While I'm usually not a great fan of flash stories, this was a good one, giving me a different reaction than it did @JoeBetterBNice. IMO a story doesn't need a "twist" to deliver an insight.

pepepilotpepepilot3 months ago

Short, sweet, and to the point. 4 stars.

UnassignedUnassigned3 months ago

It's amazing what a talented author can do with so few words. Thanks!

JustOneMansOpinionJustOneMansOpinion3 months ago

I think you are a very talented writer. This story line sounds like a really great base for a story and has so many possibilities if it was developed. Hopefully someday you will feel the need to re-visit it and give it the attention it deserves. 3-stars with great potential.

Harryin VAHarryin VA3 months ago

Great story cwg

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

The problem with the 750-word format is that it's REALLY hard to pick out a scenario that can be completed in 750 words. Authors always seem to leave put facts when limited by the number of words. In this case the story begged for more information about their lives, more than a thoughful glance in the mirror and a serious discussion on why he waited then pulled the trigger.

lujon2019lujon20193 months ago

glad he finally got off the pot

still a cuck for staying with her for nearly two years

willyk1212willyk12123 months ago

good why to go that is exzactly what i did not to lng ago and i love it

Rocky62Rocky623 months ago

Hope he went about hiding $$ in the Caymans

goodwabgoodwab3 months ago

This was really interesting. "She looked both elated and dreadful." I found the combination of adjectives provocative. "Dreadful" means "causing or involving great suffering or unhappiness." Usually, "dreadful" is used carelessly: "She looked dreadful." Perhaps very sick or tired. Here it is used precisely.

I noticed that after he said "the latter," she voiced hope that he would find someone who would make him happy--a relationship, another woman.

For his part, he would embrace solitude: updated lures and a new boat --she had truly been the love of his life. Or did he mean he would be fly casting for a new life partner?

I interpreted it as the former. Who knows?

Frank66Frank663 months ago

And I thought February would have exhausted all these silly little storiettes. From a very good author comes this very good plot line, a twist all by itself, man looks in the mirror and sees his wife in the restaurant sitting with- himself. Two strangers with a little background on why they became so, then a break-thru, then...... WHAT? The setup is presented that they will have a romantic day together, rekindling the original match, then walk away. Heck no.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Not a fan of the 750 concept. But this one I liked. I kind of felt bad for the wife on this one. Rare reaction from me. Anyway it was well written. Thank you.

Billy_Ray_BanBilly_Ray_Ban3 months ago

A year and a half for the guy to make a decision? My read on this story is that after her "almost affair" the husband has been nothing but a boat anchor on their relationship - leaving his wife suspended in purgatory as to what he wants to do about that situation. The wife seems remorseful and has been patient with him even through by this point, most of the issues in their marriage are in his own head. He's depressed and should look at fixing that first, before ending this marriage. 3/5 BRB

silverthorne16silverthorne163 months ago

Nicely done, but VERY sad. Odds are neither will find true happiness for the rest of their lives.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

An arrogant prick, who could have used the time ignoring his wife, trying to save their marriage.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

How many sacrifices are there really here?

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

I'm not usually so thick, but this time I don't get it. Is he staying or going?

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bc3 months ago

Felt all to close to reality - 4.4*

Cracker270Cracker2703 months ago

Nice, clean, well developed story. Plot wise. The wife did not ever deserve the husband

technofrog2002technofrog20023 months ago

Nicely written but kind of left me feeling sad.

jazzharpjazzharp3 months ago

Good one. Powerful. Sad someone said. Yeah, I don't prefer sad stories, I just like distinctive stories. And this one was definitely distinctive.

GardenshedGardenshed3 months ago

Great story for being so short.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

More of a real-life reaction than most portray on here. Well done!

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Yes! Yes!

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

She didn't go through with it, and they'd been married for 32 years, I think maybe that's work reconciliation. She had a severe moment of weakness but it seems like she learned from it. The MC was wrong imo. Why would he want to spend the rest of his life on a boat fishing alone instead of with his contrite wife. It seems sad

mndhanson017mndhanson0173 months ago

@hushjf, She strayed, I don't know what you're talking about, he doesn't have to give her any support, she messed up, not him. He didn't need to show her affection, yeah, she can find another "caring" companion to go cheat on. He doesn't need to work on the relationship because he's not the one that stabbed the dagger in their relationship, she's the one that has to do that. As Cracker270 said, she didn't deserve him, not the other way around. And she made the mistake when she was 57, so it was not 30 years, it was 2 years, learn to read.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Good story. Except that it took 2 years to get divorced, it could have been better.

nixroxnixrox3 months ago

3 stars - Sorry, but I could not have put up with that kind of betrayal, without doing something more permanent and divorce would not be necessary. I would have separated our finances completely 50/50, found a decently priced RV and just driven off into the sunset. With international banking and endless choices for travel, I could lose myself while wandering the globe.

WargamerWargamer3 months ago

A good short 3/5

FlamethrowFlamethrow3 months ago

What a wonderfully depicted story of two sad older people.

Buster2UBuster2U3 months ago

10 Big Blazing Stars for an excellent story, writing, and moral. Personally I find it interesting that commenters reveal that they REALLY Vote according to the story "Outcome" instead of the quality of writing. LOL BTB seem to be the most popular and I just can't seem to come up with hardly any. So I always have "low" scores. This isn't really a BTB but it is very well written, I didn't even catch a single error at all. Not that I bother even looking for them. LOL Thanks for the Effort my Friend. Buster2U

LechemanLecheman3 months ago

Thirty plus years can certainly make some couples tired.

I remember my parents were together for well over 60 years but they were a different generation. I remember the day my father passed, he was looking mischievously at the door in the hospice, and when he saw me looking at him he closed his eyes, smiling. My instincts told me it was my mother.

This story was beautifully written even though, I felt sad at the ending.

jamesapplejamesapple3 months ago

I'm...conflicted. That certainly didn't feel like a divorce coming. Had he walked out, yes. But leaving, hand in hand? To have a wonderful day in the sun then dinner together. That feels like a first step toward forgiveness. And honestly? I'm okay with that.

Karn9Karn93 months ago

Great short story 5*

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Buster2U's right, most commentators respond to the outcome and not the quality of the writing. The writing is superb and the plot development was spot on, no faults on the grammer either. Reconciliation is not always with the errant spouse, sometimes it is with your reaction and subsequent actions. He reconciled with himself that some things can't be fixed, no matter how much the fix may be wanted. That is a tough lesson that is hard to learn. 5* my friend.

detroitdave

dgfergiedgfergie3 months ago

Very well thought out, sad but it happens. There is never any reason to cheat. Learning to communicate is the problem with most people. 5 stars

CelestialFalconCelestialFalcon3 months ago

I think the key to a great 750 word story is having enough substance that the reader can fill in the blanks - and this one did just that for me. Looking into the mirror is almost an "out of body experience" prior to passing into the light - looking back and regretting living a blah life with someone you know was going to betray you (but having access to all the comingled "stuff") rather than the possibility of a better life without the betrayer in it (but only having access to half of the comingled "stuff").

KittyCampbellKittyCampbell3 months ago

What a sad situation.

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShit3 months ago

I think you did a good job capturing tha scene, almost like a snapshot. It’s a sad scene. At 61 myself, I wouldn’t want to be single again. Not having someone to share my days with isn’t an attractive option.

Mac_LapuMac_Lapu3 months ago

So sad but yeah if there is no forgiveness then its the end. One thing though his savings still gets sliced in half right? So there is no difference if they split years before. Thanks for sharing this short story @cookingwithgas.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Like all your other work, well-written, polished and spot-on!

-Yossarian

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Crappy read and story.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Divorce is a great way to end a toxic relationship, but a stupid way to punish someone you still love and who still loves you. Her plans to fuck around were a symptom of deeper problems. Before he engages with a new partner he might just want to understand how a marriage this long went sour. It takes two people to end a hug.

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThree3 months ago

"Get busy living or get busy dying",

comes to mind after reading this one.

This was one fine short story.

Top ratings from me.

oldmanbill69oldmanbill692 months ago

Really good story.

enderlocke77enderlocke772 months ago

eh they was too old to be caring about a dead marriage. that sounded like it was dead before the cheating or planned cheating. also at that age why bother with a divorce?

NitpicNitpic2 months ago
Last

The last person to post a comment was spot on.

26thNC26thNCabout 2 months ago

Good story, but very sad.

SelfTherapySelfTherapy14 days ago

Yep, this is exactly how it could happen.

AnonymousAnonymous10 days ago

Average

Retired and divorced

Like fishing gave up hunting after had shots too close twice after returning from Nam

BUT I don't plan on getting old in some idyllic setting fishing.

Fish but with others who are enjoyable company and also keep spending time with women

LechemanLechemanabout 12 hours ago

Sad, do not agree with MCs conclusion on wife's infidelity.

Too many unresolved variables through circumstance, some direct, some indirect.

Think MC was equally as complacent (explained by wife's response as 'old and unwanted') and used it to justify his resolve.

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usercookingwithgas@cookingwithgas
Romance novelist, under pen name K.L. Denison. You can follow me on Amazon, KDP and coming soon on SmashWords Like writing and posting free stories for others' enjoyment - often just to clear a writer's block. Real life can be pretty boring, so I strive to avoid the common ...