by bobbysday
You horny lad, you enjoyed every minute of those pussies. hope there is another chapter at least?
the grammar and spelling istakes really took away from a potentially hot story
All you really need is a hard cock, a guy that's willing to use it, and woman that appreciates it! As long as those three things are present, then there will be a happy relationship. You got it right. Fucking a horny Mom can be very hot! Some spelling and grammer errors or would be 100%.
Please invest in a grammar and punctuation book. This story could have been really, really hot, but instead, the mistakes almost made it impossible to get any enjoyment out of it. You could also read the material of the best authors on Literotica and learn the art of writing from them.
The 'idea' of the story was great, but it was lost in translation...very poor writing, and I hate to comment negatively against writers, but I hope that you take it and make yourself a better author in the future!
Your story really sent me up, I wonder if there was a follow up story and where it is posted.
I'm sorry to have read it only four years after it was written but I just got back in America.
This story would have been a Hell of a lot better with a little of it!
People's names and the beginnings of sentences need to be capitalized. Periods are what are used to end a sentence. There IS a difference between "they're" and "there."
THIS KID HIT THE JACK POT, MOMS FRIENDS WHEN THEY VISIT HER.AND MOM ANYTIME HE WANTS .IT SOUNDS LIKE MARY AND SUE WILL BE VISITING A LOT , AND MOM WON'T BE GOING HOME ANYTIME SOON. OH YOU KID !! I KNOW IT LATE, BUT COULD WE HAVE A PART 2...................LAROC OF AGES
please continue this does he end up having a four way with them.
"I told them when there finished get out of my house. And I got in my car and went to the bar." When there finished? It's they're as in they are finished. Poor grammar.
Who writes stories like:
mom: ••••○••••••
sue: •••••••••••
This is just rubbish.
This kid is so arrogant that it believes that once it is typed it has finished. Too lazy to proofread and not only look for errors but to ignore those that stand out. I've rarely seen a submission with so many blatant errors.
What male is going to allow 3 women on the cusp of senior status to tell him what to do and submit to their demands?
I can only dream of a situation like that only with my wife and her friends.
" told them when there finished get out of my house"
There, their, they're.
Please learn the difference.
Your grammar is appalling.
I wish I were him. I'd love to be naked and available to my wifes friends but she has no interest in anything related to sex.
Could have been a good story, it was for the first few paragraphs. The narration got kind of stiff. And kind of got worse. The dialogue format was really bad and shopping. You need to get an editor. But then it just got pathetic with the inane stuff about making him submit and the juvenile way you handle that. Maybe you have English problems, maybe you're not old enough to write yet. This just seemed like a middle school student writing something.