by Leona_James
First off, size 8 is a good size for a woman. It means she has some meat on her bones.
From there on, other than a couple of misspelled words it's a great story. Held my attention even though I was beginning to wonder early if this wasn't a setup.
Thanks for your feedback. I agree that size 8 is a good size for a woman, but wanted to give the reader an idea that the character had some body issues, imagined, that she needed to overcome. This is my first story to be published in any forum. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
The play wasn't subtle enough so didn't really tease the reader as much as the main character. Make the reader beg for more. Play with language and pace a little. The intense descriptions were a strong point with good detail however nothing arousing though as it was reptitive in places.
Thank you for your thoughtful and constructive criticism. I will take your comments to heart as I work on future pieces.
Your story was terrific and I don't think you need to pay any attention to the criticisms. You had me fooled and I'm not usually fooled!
Thank you so much for your kind word and taking the time to read my story. I give full credit to my husband and my mother for their editorial support.
Very good story. Once I started reading this story I could not stop until I
Read the whole thing. Thank you for a Great story.
It would be so much Fun to do role playing and bring
This story to life. Thank you.
I enjoyed your story. The character was enjoyable and you did a nice job pacing her through her adventures. The twist at the end was a good touch, too. I hope we see more adventures for Cheryl!