by mix and match
I have been following this storie from the 1st episode and eagerly await each subsequent episode. I think you a great talent for writing.
I certainly hope this "writer" didn't grow up with English as his first language. If he did, it's obvious he didn't pay attention in elementary school because his grasp of punctuation and grammar are rudimentary. Regretfully, the story line wanders around like a drunken sailor and the dialogue reads like -- like one pretentious third grader would speak to another. In short, the whole "story" is so painful, I recommend no one read it.
This chapter was not as good as previous. The story is taking lots of twist and turns. Looks more like an orgy at this point and loosing ground.
not as good as the previous chapters. "Clumsily Written" should stop reading the story if he/she doesn't like it, but probably won't.
if you don't like the story don't read it. But you will continue to read just like everyone else. It's that good.