by svenjolly
You have put some real depth into these characters. Although it works as a stand-alone, there are also a number of ways the story can go from here. From the description one would almost think you had been inside the BangBros offices, and that added realism could provide the setting for a whole slew of sequels following Daisy's rising porn career - and possibly Rick's as well. You might want to resubmit this to correct the one error I saw: Rick's name is changed to Alex briefly. Other than that, a really good start.
Certainly a different kind of story and a good one too. Who was Alex in the parking lot fight?
Alex is a character in another story series I'm working on, and clearly I had a little brain fart. You think after checking it over three times I would have caught all the mistakes!
But is it worth pulling an resubmitting? Nah.
Great story with fantastic character development. I echo the other comments in hoping that you will continue with these characters.
I would like to see this story continued. I think there is real chemistry between Rick and Daisy. Keep up the good work.
My fav part was the Battlestar Galatica reference...and I am a chick. LOL
Good job!
but I would let it end here. It's a great read, nicely thought out, well written, but I think it's best to leave their future encounters to the reader's imaginations...
I'm one who likes a story to be more of a one time, to the point thing...I can't stand all these that have ch2, ch3, ch77, and on and on... ya know? Give it a rest, write a NEW story!
Thanks for sharing, very enjoyable!
there is room here for more, if its a world without disease or close attachment, he could explore the other babes with or without daisy. adventures in vegas while doing security there? demos/ experimenting w porn stars/ new toys etc.
If you continue it please make it a solid romance between Daisy and Rick. Sure they might do wild things but make it so it enhances the relationship rather then destroys it. Plus please don't make Daisy into a huge star either not a flattering thought for her or the lose of her personality and life fire.
Well done ... don't often read 3+ page stories but this was well done. Keep it going between Daisy & Rick ... maybe add one of the other girls as a FFM 3-some ..... work on adding lingerie to the story for one of the scenes.
I too enjoyed the BSG referrence. Based upon the descriptions of people and companies involved, I imagine the young lady star in the budding is today's Daisy Marie? Though I never did see a daisy tattoo on her...
Great story, first off. Loved the Princess Bride quote about Spaniards too!
Couple of problems though. First, who's Alex (think you renamed Rick during a fight scene). Second, there's one part where you through out multiple 'W' words, I suspect you were trying to figure out how to word the setence. Would, Why, When...something like that.
Other than that, top notch and I look forward to reading the next one!
I'm greedy so I do not like to share. Thus porn star stories are not a favorite. That just changed when I read your very hot story.
I really enjoyed the story and the characters. If you were to do a follow-up, I would read it. But I think it stands on its own as is.