All Comments on 'Requited Love'

...seemingly a "quickie," but in reality, I could see a two-year wait being consummated not unlike this in just one evening--and a guy that's starved for real affection would dive into a real woman's charms like Grace's.

While I rated this a 5 because I think things were sufficiently explained and you didn't theoretically rush the sex, other critics could say this would have been better to perhaps split into 2 chapters: basically have the first part a little more fleshed out to where James fully recognizes how Jenny is such a unidimensional stick in the mud and already tells her off; he of course has the conversation with her at work; offers and gives her a ride; they eat and really see the chemistry between them...BUT he doesn't get drunk AND he drops her off at her place; they exchange a parting kiss that leaves them BOTH wanting more...but they save it for the next day. Then perhaps they do something like go somewhere together and talk some more, but then now that Jimmy's fully "available," the tension builds because he's really into her and she almost can't stand it. With that in hand, she acts on her feelings and they both agree to head back to her place, with all the repeated consummations that take place.

I hope you will add more to this or at least consider it, where she fully relearns her Spanish and he learns it for her. The real attraction to this is that when someone learns another's language, that person REALLY gets into the other native speaker's world and way of thinking and it ADDS another 1-2 dimensions of "knowing" them. In other words, their bonding increases 1-2x over because of this. There's room for mistakes, silly blunders where one gets embarrassed but the other explains the error, with both guffawing until their sides hurt. There's a lot of extra things to explore here! One of them would be the explanation as to why she would so quickly want his baby, as it is not so "stereotypical" for a Latina to fall HARD for someone she loves (but on the flip side, he had better not cheat on her or she will become a hellion in short order), including having the guy's baby. You also have established the dynamic that he knows how to be a little rough, but understands how to handle her tenderly too.

I hope I've given you some ideas on how to expand this, if you weren't previously considering it. You know a little something about the Latino dynamic, although I'm not sure how much you are aware of beyond the pages of this story. I do hope you will expand this and soon. I would eagerly read it. :)

So very familiar

I have read this story somewhere before. Loved reading it again. 5 Stars and a fave

Martika

My only comment is to say: Man, you left the reader hanging. You came very close with her implication that she was ovulating but you didn’t close the loop and say that she was pregnant. Write on.

Wow. Yes, the character is so "intimidated" by people from other countries that he falls in love with one and claims her as his own--to make one of the biggest commitments possible with that woman. Total lack of understanding what the word means, which certainly reflects the commenter's ignorance and bigotry.

This is one of the few authors I've seen largely succeed at accurately portraying a Hispanic that doesn't resort to hackneyed unidimensional stereotypes (and I could name one author that does, which isn't this one). This author respects the Argentinean character and actually understands a significant amount about Hispanic culture in general.

I was impressed best story ive read i enjoyed every word

Grenat story. Thanks.