by LesLumens
Wow, that was quite the ride you had. Maybe consider taking a friend along with you, next time you ride. But then again, what would it be like for them? To watch you flying down the single track, rock wall on one side and free fall on the other?
I thought it was fine just the way it was. I also understand that something pops up in your mind and has to come out. Good for you.
the narrative voice is just so perfect for this story. Great little scene that plays out so well. Thanks for sharing your imagination with the rest of us - we are the better for it.
Wonderful stream of consciousness-like story-telling. You made us care about this poor guy. There was a rawness to your words like you've either experienced pain or really contemplated it. Give this man a 5!
I can't put into words how I felt about this story. I hope the score I gave you will convey what I feel. Oh, don't worry, that's a good thing! :) Good luck in the contest.
Less(Dark: I love the wordplay!), I came over here to read your story due to Litfan10. This was a daunting little tale that gripped me from the first sentence and held me to last. The internal-fevered-adrenaline-pumping monologue had my heart racing.
This is a great story as long as he survived. I know what it's like to go off the high side, but luckily not to the extent that this poor guy did. If he survived as long as the story implies his injuries, while painful, would most likely not be life threatening. Riding is in its own way an addiction, so it's understandable that a bike ridder would be willing to take a last chance at a ride though.
Brilliantly written short piece. Left the reader guessing, but I'm pretty sure he makes it. Fun 5 stars.