All Comments on 'Saturday Night School'

What a wonderful story ! It starts off Charlie, an interesting, sympathetic male character who sounds real and introduces us to Michelle who is a serious exhibitionist. I like both characters who are, at first, shy with each other, but warm up to the game and gradually lose their inhibition.

Great writing, cute characters, and a nice slow build up of tension.

Thanks !

A lovely story with a good plot! The idea of acting out her fantasies made the story that bit more fun. Don't you dare stop writing. We need more from you.

Sorry to everyone else but ive found my favourite one on this site. You write it so well. It ws like we here there too. Do hope you continue very soon.

P.s. I would of so wished i had the same experience with this one girl from school who would defiantly be one to just strip off and be free as much as she could.

A well-written story, with realistic settings, dialog, and action. Nice to read something without any misspellings or grammatical errors! Keep up the good work. Looking forward to reading more from an outstanding author.

As I read the story I almost felt like a third party watching the fantasy aspect play out completely leaving the sexual thoughts there but the sex act secondary to the story. Excellent story. Well written.

I loved your story! The character's innocence made every thing they experienced pure and refreshing. The build up was wildly sexy and the final consummation was perfectly simple but erotic. In the same way that raunchy and depraved stories leave the reader feeling uninhibited and dirty (in a good way of course), your story left me feeling serene and wholesome (also a very good feeling). Thank you! You have a new fan.

Bloody good.

Really enjoyed the story. Looking forward to the sequel!++

Great story, awesome buildup! Very good writing and scene setting.

It was a nice bit of fantasy, well-written and not mundane!

Cant wait for thr continuation. Maybe swimming and he joins her?

Yes, some people act on their feelings and get a high from it. This story was made more real by having Charlie there to participate. Yay, exhibitionism! Now I'm eagerly awaiting the sequel.

Good luck in the contest.

You nailed it, this story fits in like skin. I wanted Charlie to be braver, walk nude with michelle, thru the school. Your fantasy is better the way you've imagined. Thank you for a edgy night.

Even thought this wasn't much of a sex story, I loved how the author gives us a great visual setting and the story buildup was fantastic. However, the story itself is too long.

everthing I've ever dreamed about! Thank you, good build up to a great ending! Can't wait to here the next part! LOVED IT!

This is by far one of the best stories in this category, and one of the better stories on this site. The well developed set up and the long tease led to the perfect ending. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Very well written, loved the detailed descriptions of the setting and participants. Looking forward to additional episodes. Maybe even a sympathetic teacher ?

One of the best storied I've read in a while— a great balance of story, build-up, and sex.

It takes some doing to write a story that retains the interest all the way through and builds up tension bit by bit.

L

What a wonderful tale! Well developed, entrancing and very believably put together. You are a very talented story teller keep up the good work.

I rarely comment on stories on Literotica. I make an exception for this one. As others have said the buildup was slow but appropriately so. This is an excellent short story. Never mind the genre. A great pleasure to read. Very imaginative.

What a fun, hot and well-done Nude Day story. I admire the way you quickly brought Michelle to life with only her words and Charlie's observations.

Very nice! The gradual build-up made it credible, and that's what made it a great erotic story.

I usually never comment, but your exceptional storyline has made an exception. The fine details, the gradual build up and the perfect theme has made me longing for more. Fine piece of art, I must tell. Kudos

That was absolutely beautiful. THANK YOU. I might read it again incase I missed something.

Ms Von Harper,

Thank you for such a well-written story. You have described the hidden desire to be naked where one is not supposed to be naked with exquisite expertise. And I loved the setting: I can agree that the thrill is akin to a high.

I didn't expect the sex scene, even though it arrived in your tale very naturally, very organically. I'm glad that you allowed that to happen.

The majority of my stories contain public nudity, so yours pushed a lot of my buttons. I will share this with my wife; I know she will enjoy your tale also.

I will be checking back for the sequel, and hope it arrives very soon.

Thank you.

Simply the best story I've read in a long, long time! I cannot think of single teenage boy fantasy about THAT GIRL from high school which wasn't covered, (or undressed). Many thanks and I'll be hoping for more from this author...

What a wonderfully crafted story. The playfulness and experimentation is what makes this so much fun. I'm certainly intrigued to see what you come up with next for Charlie and Michelle.

The build up in the story line was so life like, I could get see it all jumping off the page as if it were happening in front of me. It was super arousing as well. I am going to take a cold shower now, love to read more of your work!

I must compliment you on describing so well so many feelings and emotions. I don't believe I have ever read a story that so perfectly described several of my fantasies. I have never before so closely identified with both characters in one story simultaneously. I am inspired and humbled.

Beautiful!

This story is written so well, so descriptive and so full of young lust. Each paragraph seduces you to read more. you are an excellent author, I cant wait to read the rest of your stories and see where this story goes next. Keep it up

Why doesn't anything that cool happen to me? My life sucks. lol

You've done a great job of getting the elements together as a story teller. Captured both the thrill and nerves of the exhibitionist endeavor. Lot's to explore now between the two characters and I look forward to now ready part 2.

Very well written, great details, emotional depth, and a very hot fantasy. I can relate to Michelle. My public nudity fetish started when I was a teen and I was actually caught streaking in the woods once - the power of imagination and hormones can be overwhelming and you do a great job of capturing it here.

What a great story! Great character building and plot. I just love how they interacted. The description of her naked form was amazing. Thank you!

This was such a fun story to read that I'm wondering what took me so long to get to it.

Loved the dialogue, and his inner dialogue.

Very well written, technically, and so glad to see there's additional chapters.

5 and fave-ing it and you.

High school. Raging hormones. The nerdy AV guy and the popular cheerleader with the body to die for. This story is more than just every nerd's fantasy. It plumbs the depths of youthful curiosity and experimentation. She gets up the nerve to act out her fantasy, and he gets up the nerve to play act a science class, breaking the ice for the sexual intimacy they had been craving all evening. Perfectly set and skillfully written. Bravo!

I wwish I could rate this story 7 stars. beautiful set up and flow of the story. HUGE turn-on. thanks for writing this!

I absolutely loved your story. It was very erotic and interesting. To top that off, it was actually somewhat realistic. Well, it could happen, not to me, but it could happen. Very well done. Hope to see more.

Wow! Fantastic! Please keep on writing! Your story, your writing... simply breathtaking! One of the best stories - and writings - to be found here! ... This is written words coming alive; this is not reading a story - this ist watching a movie, just by reading words...

I love the genre of women willingly being naked in public because they enjoy it. This is a classic!

Well-written, with sympathetic characters and plausible dialog. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Well written and very good.

Loved your story, can't wait to read the rest.

Really nice work. I'm very impressed by how you walk that line that keeps the story believable as they push all kinds of boundaries. I really enjoyed how he pretended he was teaching anatomy with her naked body. Unbelievably sexy!

Sorry, but lost interest on page one -- the Michelle character didn't make any sense to me. Sounds like a girl who can have anything she wants and she's naked and practically crying in the school. Just didn't feel real. Not appealing to take advantage of someone in near tears either.

Love how you build up the story with one exhibitionism and voyeurism kink after another while ticking off every fantasy of a high school kid and finishing off with a bang. Love how it was not too easy, making it reasonably believable. Kudos!

Very well written and soooo exciting. Who hasn't fantasised about doing something like this? 5 stars!

Love your stories, super fun and well written!

Your writing style is fantastic, your subject matter one of my favorites, and you make everything so plausible that it is easy to slip into the moment. I can't wait to read the rest of your stories.

This story is just exceptional on every level.

Wow! I loved the bit with the aardvark and the pencil sharpener. So exciting. I made a mess of my daisy dukes. ;)

>"Is this the first time you've ever walked outside like this?"

>"No," she admitted, flashing him a sly smile. "But this is the most daring. I've walked in the backyard a few times. A few other little adventures, too. I'll tell you about them, if you want. But later."

Was re-reading the story when I noticed this paragraph. Any chance of some side stories for Michelle's other little adventures too? ;)) Might be fun to also see some solo adventures of her's, like how she would balance the thrill-seeking without a backup

Long smouldering, teasing build up and a wonderful 'climax'.

I really enjoyed it !

Echoing some imaginings and some realities I've experienced. Loved it, the hesitance balanced by daring, knowing how to have an exciting adventure but safely... a joy to read. More please.

Wow, this is a great read. I'm hooked. I can't wait to read the others in this series! Great job, and keep it up.

I was really appreciative of your ability to take me back to my school days and be able to paint a picture in my mind of those long, long ago days! I am 52 now and I was able to seriously get right into and literally feel like I was part of the whole story or one of the characters.... Thank you for doing that it meant a lot to me!

I recently attended my high school reunion, and there were many still-beautful girls (now women) in attendence, the sight of whom cause me to recall how I lusted after their gorgeous teen-aged bodies when we were still in school. Now, after all these years, if I could have any one of about six or seven of them as they are now, I could die a happy man...and I mean seriously, deleriously happy!!!

High School Hangover

This is very well written. Not over done. While the concept may be just a little far fetched, it is after all, a work of fiction. Reads well and doesn't over or under describe anything. I felt like I was there

We need more!!! Well written! This brings one into the middle of the story, not watching from the side!! Needs more stories developing more characters and plots around Charlie and Melissa!! OUTSTANDING!!😀

I think you aced the exam!

A perfect balance of suspense and gratification! Maybe you have written every boy's AND every girl's secret fantasy.

Just magnificent. And so brief, like it would seem to him.

Yoy nailed this. Please write more!

Sincerely,

Winston

I never expected the story to move as it did. I simply like the subject and clicked on it. As I write this, I remember there were other chapters, so I'll hurry to them.

You have a very creative mind and I loved your work. You are very, very talented. I find it hard to believe the other chapters can beat this one, but I can have a fantasy too.

Best,

John R

The characters really come into being in these. They feel warm, alive, and your writing perfectly brings their needs, anxieties, and complexity to life. Thank you for sharing.

That was fun

An exciting beginning to a wonderful series!

You so perfectly captured the feelings of freedom and excitement that goes with walking around nude in a public place where you might get caught.

I can remember camping in the yard and sneaking around the neighborhood from well before puberty. I continued it wherever I lived from that time forward, sneaking through the woods by day or down the road in the wee hours, slipping into the shadows whenever a car came by. I think the farthest I ever got from my clothes was about two miles, though a quarter to a half mile was more usual.

Good Story. 100 stars, but couldn't find that button.

This storyline really surprised me. There can only be so many pool boys, mom’s best friends or blackmailed step dads.

A great idea, well developed & with believable characters.

Thanks Jessica

Jessica, thanks for a really well done series. This is one where the geeks really do win out. :-)

Dear Jessica! Read all the serie and likes it very much! You have done great work! Please continue or create new serie. :-)

Ms. VonH.,

Congratulations on a brilliant piece of work!

What struck me, particularly, was the pacing in your story; it was flawless.

And, that is so difficult to achieve.

Yes the dialogue was smooth and natural, and you drew your readers in with well drawn relatable characters, and you invented , again-brilliant, plot events that were believable and organic to the characters you sculpted for us, but the flow of the telling of this story never missed a beat.

Again, Congratulations

Pe2quod

Well Done!!!

(copy-pasted from Amazon, hence the terminology used)

"Saturday Night School: The Cheerleader's Secret" is the first in a series by Jessica Tang-Von Harper. A woman who is definitely an expert at her craft, she paints a story that is just the right length to hold my ADHD-riddled focus and had me hooked on the well-paced and engaging first volume from start to finish!

THE GOOD

The protagonist, Charlie, is a cinephile who edits videos in the AV room after school, where he runs into Michelle, a member of the cheerleader squad who is unexpectedly wandering the school after hours in the buff. Both Charlie and Michelle are deep characters, yet also wholesome. They clearly have their own desires, yet don't use them as an excuse to hurt the other, instead finding ways to satisfy the other's desires in addition to satisfying their own.

The characters are reasonable, understandable, and empathetic in their decisions and actions, and they avoid easy stereotyping. Michelle is a cheerleader, but she's not a stuck-up bitch. Charlie is an introverted cinephile, but he's not a bullied or ostracized social reject. They are good people who see other people as people rather than tools, but they definitely are still high school seniors who are still figuring themselves and others out and so are full of doubts about themselves and other people's actions. More than once, Charlie second-guesses his idea to communicate uncertainty with Michelle, yet it's not out of shunning communication: He just has perfectly reasonable self-doubt that you would expect from a high school senior.

Despite her addiction to her extra-curricular activity, Michelle is never once degraded by Charlie, and she never once treats him like a stuck-up snob might look down at a social outcast, not even at school. I also found it quite subversive that Michelle wasn't some secret crush Charlie had been gazing upon for years, nor that Charlie is some socially inept loser. Charlie knows who Michelle is because of her place on the cherrleading squad, but he never really took note of her. Meanwhile, Charlie isn't some social outcast, he's just an introvert who values his time away from people, but he still has a circle of movie-minded friends who he hangs out with at lunch, though he refuses their Saturday moviegoing activities in favor of editing videos of school sports activities.

I must also praise the sex-positivity in this book, which is present without pounding the message over your head with a pipe as some kind of preaching aesop. Michelle and Charlie engage in these explicit sexual activities with worry of being caught, but not worry about their morality or the sacredness of their virginity. They don't have any kind of moral qaundry about virginity loss, not even sparing it a mention, yet it's clear that they're doing this not because they'd settle for anyone, but because they've found a connection as a result of circumstances bringing them together unexpectedly. Michelle ponders that her addiction is weird, but she doesn't seem ashamed of it. Rather, she revels in it and everything she does is something she enthusiastically enjoys and even initiates. When Charlie initiates things, she gives VERY clear non-verbal responses, expertly written by Jessica to be clear to the reader, that she is consenting to it and is enjoying the submissive aspect of her activities with Charlie. Even Charlie stripping her in the parking lot is something she is surprised by, but thoroughly enjoys and gives clear acceptance of, and you can tell that Charlie is being very conscious of her responses to make sure that the things he does are things she enjoys and wants.

But now, I have to get into the reasons I've only given this book four stars instead of five.

THE BAD

I noticed two typos. Two. Just two. This is actually more impressive, since I often count more than that in shorter books!

There seems to be an unusually ostentatious ambiguity around Michelle's breasts. Yes, I know this sounds odd, but hear me out. We're given some fairly extensive descriptions of Michelle, as expected since Charlie is the third-person narrator and a big part of her "addiction" is him looking at her bare form and marveling at it. We get some scattered but present descriptions of Michelle's hair length, hair color, skin color, eye color, complexion, waist, hips, legs, shoulders, eyelashes, arms, feet, toes, and even her mannerisms. But her breasts are never really given any kind of clear descriptor for size, and it's downright bizarre considering how detailed some of her descriptions can be. The only part of her body that comes CLOSE to this level of ostentatious ambiguity is possibly her rear end and MAYBE her face, since while her lips are mentioned, I think we only get a descriptor for her eye color and eyelashes.

Whenever I saw Michelle's breasts mentioned, I looked for any kind of indicator of size so I could complete the image of her I had in my head while envisioning the scenes the book described. Unfortunately, what I picked up from little bits here and there is... extremely internally inconsistent. From descriptions like "palmable" and "swell," and with absolutely no mention of cleavage at all in the book, she seems to have a modest bust with more beauty to their shape than size. Yet the mention of her breasts bouncing or pressing into things gives the impression they're larger than simply modest. Yet at one point her breasts are described with "pert," which is effectively a polite way for an author to describe the girl's breasts as tiny or flat. At one point her breasts are described by Charlie as "perfect," but this could mean literally anything since the perfection of breasts is all about the tastes of the person looking at them, and we have no indication of what Charlie's tastes are. Yes, this seems kind of niggling, but I'm not a visually oriented person and I need descriptions to imagine the story's visuals in a way that aren't vague blobs, and so it was refreshing to see some nicely described scenery and some detailed descriptions of our heroine, but every time Michell's breasts came up it took me out of the immersion because of how oddly vague Jessica was being about them. I really can't imagine what her reason could be for going to such lengths to describe Jessica, yet leave such an ostentatious gap in her appearance.

But, that's not as bad as what happened to Charlie.

I don't know why Jessica forget about this, but Charlie is never described. I see absolutely no reason that no physical part of him beyond the respectable size of his genitals should go so unstated when even Daryl the security guard gets more description of his appearance than our own protagonist does. You don't need to throw Charlie in front of a mirror or something, but it's just unusual that at no point does the narrative attach descriptors when Charlie mentions something regarding some part of his body. Even when Charlie is interacting directly with Michelle, I don't think the story even acknowledges whether he's taller or shorter than her. Michelle is largely a complete picture in my head except for that indistinct black mist where her breasts should be, but Charlie is nothing but a hazy silhouette of void (and that's not entirely a metaphor due to how I need descriptions for imagining scenes in books). If Jessica was hoping that the readers would just insert their own appearance, well... I hate to say this, but I'm a 31-year-old woman, so inserting my own physical appearance in the place of a male high school senior is just going to make the story extremely awkward to read. That, and Charlie's personality is distinctly his own, well-developed and clearly having thoughts and interests independent of the reader, so I see no point in making his appearance and his appearance ALONE a reader projection scenario. Unless Jessica truly assumed that she couldn't describe a protagonist, which just seems unusually misguided for such a skilled writer...

All in all, it was these two major unusually ostentatious flaws that meant I could not, in good conscience, give this incredible book five stars. If there were some understandable reason behind these flaws that is intentional and rooted behind artistic ideology meant to improve the story rather than hinder it in the name of artistic statement or misguided attempts at mass market appeal, I could probably forgive these flaws and give the book a five-star score. Unfortunately, the problem with most literature is that I don't know Jessica's reasoning behind her decisions in not describing Jessica's breasts or Charlie at all, and without any indication that it was for artistic passion and intentional story enhancement, I really have no choice but to default to assuming that these were just odd oversights in an otherwise brilliant author's vision.

CONCLUSION

I still very much recommend the book, even if I can't give it five stars! It's an amazing read and well worth your time, money, and attention!

I just re-read this story after having read it (and the chapters that followed) several years ago. It was worth it. This is one of my favorite Exhibitionist stories. The author, through a great sense of tone and pacing and description, manages to make a completely improbable story seem plausible. Even though things accelerate quickly, it doesn't seem rushed. The setting places a big role in this story -- the empty school after hours. It's a great setting for what happens. Somehow, I'm not sure how, the author makes it somewhat plausible that a gorgeous, popular cheerleader would expose herself and have sex with Charlie, who's not popular, or described as handsome.

A previous commenter complained that there's no description of Charlie. I don't think that's a problem at all. Charlie, as the POV character, would have no reason to describe himself. He's a shy, modest guy. He's an everyman. The reader sympathizes with him and sees things through his perspective and can fill in whatever details the reader wants about what Charlie looks like. I didn't see this as a negative at all.

One of the nicest things about this story is the mature attitude the author has toward her characters. Michelle is a very tricky character to pull off well. On the one hand, she's the unapproachable bombshell cheerleader, who's seemingly mismatched with Charlie. On the other hand, the author gives her enough depth and kindness to give the connection with Charlie plausibility. To me, this attitude toward the characters is the glue that holds the entire series together so well.

Very well done. This story deserves its place at the upper ranks of Exhibitionist stories at Literotica.

fun story

Absolutely Fabulous. Thank You, should be the first words out of my mouth, to all the writers who spend hours on their craft for our amusement and entertainment. I have placed this story into my all time favorites list. I will be rereading it enjoying the slow burn of ecstasy. Once again Thank You

Loved it! Every school boy's fantasy!

Very well done, believable characters, even a believable movement from one scene to the next. She is definitely a braver young lady than I was at that age. I never entered a school on my occasional nude walks around my town, tho I did drive thru several of them in various stages of undress. Something about leaving for college in several weeks had my head in a strange place and with a need to see and possibly be seen in all the places I had grown up around in a new way.

Excellent tale and beautifully told.

For me it would have been even more gripping, if she was not completely naked at first, but was wearing some really provocative Victoria's Secret, lingerie, which she would later take off.

Very, very NICE...so erotic, and what a surprise for Charlie (even more so for Michelle-tho't she was alone!) The build-up was slow, and led BOTH of them to places I do not think they expected...

The 'end' of the story...'cannot do this again'...we know that is just an excuse to make them (Michelle!) feel better about what they did...THEY BOTH WANT TO DO IT AGAIN...YOU CAN TELL IT BY THE WAY THEY ACT!!

As another reader said...I must tell you Thank You for this story, and THE next chapters (I am sure!)

**5** Stars...absolutely deserved...

As someone said anonymously: “ Erotic experience of the top notch level

I usually never comment, but your exceptional storyline has made an exception. The fine details, the gradual build up and the perfect theme has made me longing for more. Fine piece of art, I must tell. Kudos”

Definitely five stars rating.

Thanks for the erotica.

I don't think I've ever bothered to leave a comment on any story in all the years I've had an account here, but alas, you deserve recognition, because this is amazingly well-written, well-paced, and speaking personally, examines some fantasies I didn't know I had. Although exhibitionism is far from new to me, this still felt fresh and new compared to all the other exhibitionist stories I've read. Well done!

Yep, still one of the best of all time

Nicely done. Pacing just about perfect.

I just found these stories. They're fantastic. Five stars or more! Really good writing and story-craft. Please keep on keeping on with new stories and characters. The force is with you.

Fantastic story. Very well written.

Love your story!

This is the first story I have read by this author. I will certainly read more. I liked the imagery of the scene; the allure of her naked body as she strolled about as if it was nothing. I thought that the sex could have waited for a later chapter. It would have increased the readers anticipation I think, but it is the author’s story to tell as she wishes. I would have liked to see how they interacted at school on Monday; the cheerleader and the AV geek. A very hot story with or without the sex.

A wonderfully erotic story. The long, slowly heating emotions and repressed desires, leading to the final eruption, was intensely arousing and enjoyable. Thanks for sharing