The Cam Girl

Trying to stretch himself as much as he could without letting go of her, Jarno managed to grab a couple of paper towels and bring them to her nose.

'Blow.'

The fact that she did it without teasing him about the word "blow" told him she still wasn't back to her normal self. He finished cleaning Mackenzie's face before letting her bury her head on his shoulder again. There was an unspoken rule that when someone hugged you, you should let them be the ones to break it, so he stayed put.

A muffled sound escaped her lips.

'What?'

Mackenzie removed herself from his arms and faced his eyes.

'Why aren't you mad at me?' She repeated softly.

Oh, honey... They were both on the floor sitting down, her on her heels, him cross-legged.

'Is anyone feeling worse about it than you right now?' He asked her calmly.

'No.' She replied, looking down.

Jarno tilted the purple haired girl's chin back up. 'Then why would I be mad?'

Her mood didn't improve much despite his reassurance.

'Thanks but I'm still the one who was supposed to remember to take a goddamn pill...'

'And I'm the one who should have asked you about it. This isn't your issue to deal with, Mac. It's our issue.' He reassured her. 'Have you thought about how you want to handle this?'

Mackenzie nodded.

'Don't worry, I'm going to take care of it. I'll look up all I can about getting an abortion and start the process...'

'Is that what you want to do?'

'What else would I want to do?' She asked him, furrowing her brow.

'Not getting one.'

'You know the odds of a baby popping out of my vagina in nine months increase if I don't get an abortion, right?'

'I do.'

She stared at him.

'The fact that I can't tell if you're joking is scaring me, Jarno...'

He took a deep breath.

'Listen, I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to let me finish everything before you say anything, okay? Please.'

Her face remained a mask, but she almost imperceptibly nodded.

'I understand that you don't want to have a baby now or maybe even ever. I know I've thought about having one, just not now.' Jarno started, trying to organize what he wanted to say. 'I don't buy into that "life begins at conception" bullshit. If you feel like terminating this pregnancy is the right choice for you, I want you to know I support it completely.

'If you were to go through with it, though, you wouldn't have to be a parent if you didn't want to. Like I said, I've thought about having kids and if I'm being honest I'm financially comfortable enough to raise one.'

Complete quietness established itself between them, as Mackenzie considered his words, staring at something far away behind his head.

'So, if I had it... You'd raise it. And I wouldn't have to get involved.' She digested it. 'I don't think I'll ever want to have kids. I never told you that because I figured you'd want to.'

'I don't go into relationships looking for the mother of my future children, I go into them because if I really like the woman I'm going into them with.' He felt compelled to say.

Another silence.

'I show my naked body online for a living, so looking as fat as a whale is going to be...'

To that he had no idea what to reply, so he waited for her to speak again.

'What about us?' She asked, looking at him.

'What do you mean?'

'We agreed to go slow, and now we're discussing having a baby.' Mackenzie laughed for the first time since their conversation had started.

Jarno smiled. 'I think we shouldn't let a potential baby dictate how we are around each other.'

'I think so too.' She paused. 'I don't know, Jarno. I don't know if I can do it.'

'If your answer is no, don't be afraid to say it. It's okay, Mac.'

Leaning into him, she kissed him softly. They both kept their eyes closed and their foreheads pressed together once their lips parted.

'I'm going to need some time to think. It's not an instant no, but... please don't get your hopes up.'

'Don't worry about me. It's a difficult decision, take as much time as you need.' He told her, stroking her face soothingly. His initial shock had passed and now he was feeling much calmer, his sole concern being Mackenzie now. 'I feel like an asshole for leaving now.'

His summer break time was over and he had to be in Belgium for his race in a couple of days. He was planning on catching the first plane back as soon as it was over, but now he was beginning to question even going.

'Don't worry.' She reassured him. 'I'll be fine.'

'I can stay if you need-'

'No. You love your job, and I refuse to start messing with it. I never let you mess with mine, and I'm never messing things up for yours!'

Her voice was determined again, no trace of her sobs left. Jarno loved how passionate the woman in front of him was when she was sure she was right. He hugged her tightly, feeling her arms around his chest as well.

'Yes, ma'am.' He smiled into her shoulder.

///////////////

With one final chew, the tip of the straw broke. Mackenzie stuck her tongue out and removed it. What remained of the deformed and chewed straw of her smoothie made it almost impossible to drink out of. Almost. She twirled it between her fingers, looking at it without really seeing it.

Nine months. Nine months of fat, sick, tired and annoyed. I'll have to have this parasite in me, feeding and growing until without so much as a thank you it'll come out. Mackenzie groaned. Childbirth pain. She'd almost neglected to be upset about that too.

Looking out the window of Mike's diner, she saw a few people enjoying the end of summer to stroll around the city whilst the sunlight was still unblocked by clouds. They looked happy to her eyes and she was irrationally annoyed by it. Go be happy someplace else!

'See, you're not even an actual person yet and you're already making me bitter!' She whispered angrily to her stomach. No, don't start talking to it... Ever since she found out she was pregnant, Mackenzie refused to give the parasite the pleasure of her acknowledgement. It was even smaller than a bread crumb, so it didn't deserve acknowledgement.

Her worry wasn't attachment, though. Her concerns were of a more rational than emotional nature.

'Everything okay, Mac?'

Mike was passing by looking very busy, as he asked. He grabbed the dirty plates from a nearby table and paused at hers, waiting.

'Yeah, don't worry.' She replied tonelessly. His gaze lingered but he started moving. 'Actually... Mike.' The big man stopped again. 'You got a second?'

'Sure.' He went to the kitchen to drop the plates and returned to her booth, struggling to fit into the tight sitting space with his massive size. 'What's up, kid?'

She couldn't avoid a small laugh. 'Really? Kid?'

'Mac, you're gonna be sixty... Well, maybe not, since you eat a lot of my food, but...' Mackenzie smiled at that. 'you're gonna be sixty and I'll still look at you and see that sweet eighteen-year-old who appeared at my diner without any money. You looked like you were in trouble then, and you look like that now.' His honest, candid words surprised her, and she looked down before facing his eyes again.

'What do you think about Jarno?'

'Who's Jarno?' Mike asked, appearing to have no problem in letting her change the subject.

'Pretty boy.' Mackenzie replied, certain she'd have never have guessed to be saying those words to the man in front of her.

'Oh, that's his name? Guess I should start calling him that, now that I know...'

'You're not.'

'No, probably not.' He sighed, crossing his arms. 'In the space of one week, a couple of months back, you brought him here at least three times. Then, I didn't see the guy for a while. Then he showed up here alone, which I suspect wasn't for the pleasure of my company. Then, you came and saw him, and now I'm almost tired of seeing his face for the past three weeks...' He paused. 'I think he'd walk over broken glass for you, right now.'

They looked at each other for a moment.

'Anything else?' Mackenzie questioned him.

'He's naïve.'

'Thank God, an insult. I was worrying for a second...'

'It wasn't an insult. Naïve people tend to do the right thing rather than the easy one. I always hoped you'd be around someone naïve. What can I say, I like the guy!' He looked suddenly concerned. 'Do not tell him I said that.'

Mackenzie made gesture which indicated her lips were sealed. 'Thanks.' She told him, grabbing one of his hands and giving a little squeeze.

'Don't mention it, kid.' He replied, patting her outstretched hand with the awkward style he had every time he got emotional. Squeezing himself back out of the seat, he went about clearing the tables again.

Not quite understanding why she'd decided to ask Mike that particular question, Mackenzie was immersed in her own thoughts again.

Would it be that awful? The little parasite would be half Jarno's. And half mine.Now that was a strange thought...

Her mind shifted to Jarno.

He said he wouldn't let this get in the way. But won't he?Would he ever truly forgive her if she didn't go through with her pregnancy? And if she had the baby, could he stand to be with someone who didn't take any interest in her own child. That's what he proposed. That I didn't have to be a parent. But would he resent me for it, in time?

Until the end of the day these thoughts were permanently on loop in her mind, until Mackenzie made her decision.

///////////////

Nearly three at a time Jarno climbed the stairs to Mackenzie's apartment. His race had been average to say the least. He never got close to the top spots and made a massive miscalculation that meant crashing into another car, causing them both to retire. The driver had been furious and Jarno knew he had the right to be. Just like his team boss had had every single right to be furious during the team briefing afterwards, which he was.

He needed to know the answer. He needed to be with Mackenzie, to know she was okay.

The sound of a raised voice reached his ears. As he closed the distance to the door of the apartment it became clear it was Hailey's voice. The hell... Using the key, Jarno opened the door.

In front of him, Hailey stood with her back turned to him facing Mackenzie, who shifted her gaze to him when he entered. The other girl was still mid-sentence.

'... and every time he leaves you just...' She noticed her friend looking at him and turned back. Her eyes found him and instantly got a hostile look. Jarno had closed the door but almost wanted to open it again and run from her. 'Listen here, you motherfucker!' Came her growl, as she walked to him with a fierce look. 'I don't care how much of a good fuck you are; I'm going to fucking kill you if you get near her again!'

He took a step back, his back against the door, completely stunned as she looked up at him from just inches away, almost shooting sparks through her eyes. Jarno remembered Mackenzie's description of her friend suddenly. Hailey is a complete fitness addicted pile of muscle. She could take you. He didn't doubt it much at the moment.

'What are you-' He tried to start.

'It's not the first time that I've seen her looking down in the last months and every time it happens I can trace it right back to you!' She jabbed a finger in his chest. 'So I don't care that she thinks the sun is shining out of your ass, your good guy act does not mean you can do what you want to her!'

'Hailey...' Mackenzie tried to make her stop but she was having none of it.

'No!' Hailey shouted, turning back to her. 'You are not happily jumping back into his arms again without-'

'Hailey, I'm pregnant!' The purple haired girl shouted back.

There was a tense silence.

'You... You're...'

When Mackenzie spoke, she did it in a calm yet forceful tone.

'I'm pregnant. It's his, in case you were wondering... We've talked, I asked for time to think, he gave it, now he's here for me to tell him what I've thought. So, I need you to leave, if you would be so kind.'

Though he couldn't see her face, Jarno could hear the blonde girl trying and failing to say something, only making incoherent sounds.

'Leave, Hailey.' Mackenzie repeated.

Her friend turned slowly and went for the door after Jarno stepped aside. She whispered "Sorry..." to him, but he couldn't reply or look at her, since he was both angry at her for assuming the worst of him and impressed at her spirited defence of her best friend.

An awkward silence established itself between him and Mackenzie. Jarno walked next to where she was and sat down on one side of the big sofa, whilst Mackenzie took the other. It was the same position they'd been in when he first visited and they'd told each other about their jobs.

So much had happened since then. Mackenzie's likes, fears, personality and body had become familiar to him in a way he could never have thought possible, and Jarno knew what he was asking her to do was a massive shift from anything she was even remotely comfortable with.

'I'm sorry about that-'

'Is she right?'

Jarno's abrupt question seemed to baffle her.

'What?'

'Was she right with what she just said? Am I just making you miserable?'

Her brow furrowed. 'Why would you say that?'

'We have completely different takes on... everything. One minute we can't keep our hands off each other, the next we're not talking for months! I just... Sometimes, I just wonder if...'

'Yes?'

'I wonder if we aren't in a relationship we're not comfortable with.'

Mackenzie remained seated in silence, her eyes never leaving his. Just like quite a few times before, the lighting of the room and her coloured hair made her blue eyes seem dark purple. And as per usual he was almost hypnotized by them.

'When we got back together I told you I'd never been in a relationship. Remember that?'

'Of course.'

'And I got into this one with you. Because I wanted to. I wanted to add my scepticism about relationships with your deep and meaningfulness and watch us struggle to find the common ground.' She told him and he felt himself smile at her. 'And, so far I've enjoyed it.'

'I've enjoyed it too, Mac. There's stuff where you're pulling me out of my shell and I couldn't be more grateful. And I know you're doing your best to meet me half-way, I just don't want either of us to go so far over the other side that we stop being ourselves.'

Mackenzie leaned forward and caressed his temples. 'I'm not doing anything I don't want to do, Jarno. You don't need to worry about me. I do need to know something.'

He waited her pause out.

'Most couples that I know have had to make a decision in which one of the people in it later came to resent the other, even if they originally both thought they were okay with it.' She told him. 'I don't want that to be us.'

'I am not going-'

'Tell me. Forget about what you think I want to hear. Be honest with me, will you resent me? For not wanting to be a mother for this baby? For not wanting kids in the future?'

Her hands were still at his temples and Jarno traced a finger across her cheek.

'Mac, you really need to stop thinking of me as a guy that wants a 1950's wife.'

'That's not what-'

'I know you don't mean it in a mean way, but every time you feel this is going somewhere that's unconventional, like telling me you go on cam or this, it's as though you're expecting me to freak out. You're the most unique person I've ever met. And you need to know that's a plus in my book. Every day of the week.'

Without a second of pause, the purple haired girl pulled him in for the biggest bear hug of his life. Jarno held on just as tightly.

'Congratulations, you're going to be a dad.' Mackenzie whispered in his ear.

///////////////

'I'm just lucky that my audience is even kinkier than I originally thought.'

'No kidding, you've actually grown in subscribers?'

'Apparently there's a market out there for a fat woman that's got a belly the size of a small moon...'

'Well, I mean, it's also made your boobs double in size, which I didn't believe to be possible.' Jarno grinned at her.

'Oh, you noticed?' Mackenzie shot back, amused. He'd caressed her breasts for so long she had managed to cum from that stimulation alone for the first time in her life. That had earned him a tit-fucking for the ages.

'Deep down I'm a heterosexual male.'

'Yes,' Mackenzie said, tapping her five-month bump. 'I recall.'

A woman behind the desk of the clinic called out, but it wasn't for them.

There had been other ultrasounds before, but she had come alone to those because by coincidence they'd been at dates when Jarno had been racing. Mackenzie knew this was the cause of much disappointment for him, so when her doctor told her this was the one in which the parasite would begin to look like it did in the chick flick's ultrasounds, she made sure he was there to see.

The parasite. Mackenzie had accidentally referred to it out loud in conversation by that name in front of Jarno. She had cringed in anticipation of his shocked reaction but instead he'd laughed. He now used it as well, as a cute name in the absence of knowing its sex. Go figure.

'Payment's at the end, right?' He asked her.

'Yeah, after the appointment.' She replied. 'Also, we need to sort out this money thing...'

He turned his head, concerned.

'Why, did the card not work?'

'No, no, the card worked fine, Jarno.' She reassured him. 'We just need to make sure you're not banking the whole thing. I mean, did you even put a limit on that card?' She added the last sentence in a whisper.

'No, if you had run into an unexpected pregnancy related expense I wanted you to not have problems. Besides, I trust you not to impulse-buy a solid gold dildo just because you can.'

'Stop being funny, I want to contribute. And before you start,' Mackenzie covered Jarno's mouth with a hand because he was about to argue against it. 'It took two to make the parasite, so you're not covering the bills alone.'

Jarno sighed.

'I don't see the need to have you do that when I'm having no problem doing so but,' It was his turn to cover her mouth before she interrupted. 'if this means that much to you we'll split the costs. Just not fifty-fifty because no matter how hard you argue for it, you know that's not a fair split...'

'Then how?'

'I like to have my taxes in order, so I have this accountant that I trust because he actually makes me pay what I'm meant to. He knows how much I make and if you send him an average of your earnings he'll give us a number for each so that we're paying the same proportion of what we make. Sound good?'

'It sounds great.' She smiled, just as the woman called out her name this time. 'Make way for the whale and the parasite...' Mackenzie muttered so that only Jarno could hear. His only response was to roll his eyes.

They entered the room they were pointed to, Mackenzie's doctor already waiting. Jarno was meeting him for the first time. She remembered being slightly uncomfortable with the idea of a middle-aged man touching her parts but Dr. Boulahrouz had been nothing but professional and answered even her most bizarre pregnancy related questions without any annoyance. He was talking in a friendly way with Jarno.

Once she was lying with her round belly exposed, Mackenzie felt the cold of the gel before the plastic probe made contact with her skin, as all three of them focused on the screen slightly above them. Dr. Boulahrouz started to point out baby facts, mostly for Jarno's benefit since she was ignoring all sounds, as all her focus was on looking at the image of the person that currently resided in her.

The other two didn't seem to notice and she focused on what they were talking just about in time to hear the doctor's question.