All Comments on 'The Girl Downstairs'

... it could have been much, much, better if only you had proof-read and removed the many silly errors. Mostly down to words omitted in error, which made it a bit harder to work out what you intended to say.

The premise of the story is a good one but the story would have been better if it had not been so rushed. I suggest you re-write it but spread the interaction out over a couple of weeks or at least a couple of days take time to savor the moment.