All Comments on 'The Jig is Up Ch. 01'

LET BEVERLY MOVE IN AND EVERYBODY WOULD BE HAPPY.THREE IN THE SAME HOUSE ALL THE TIME,WHAT A WAY TO GO.AS A WRITER YOU ARE IN A CLASS BY YOURSELF, THANK FOR THE STORIES.

I liked the story. Keep it up. I think you would benefit from an editor though.

Your story sounded good but there was so many typos that it just put me off.

Sorry, mate.

How many times is this same story going to be told You've added minor variations but this is not original. There's enough dialog in this piece to fill a thimbal. Had there been more actual exchange we might have gotten some idea of characterization. However, these characters are so one dimentional that they only tend toward boredom. What next? He impregnates all 3 women? That's been done. He marries the girlfriend but lives with all 3 THEN impregnates them? No, that's been done. His sister finds a lover and moves out and his mother and father reconcile leaving him with his girl friend? Now THAT has not been done, but it's so conventional. I know...how about you NOT wirte chapter two and think up an original tale.