The Pilots Ch. 01

My Florida home is on the ocean. Neighboring houses are close by, but we have mutually allowed the vegetation to grow thick and lush between our homes so each one seems like an isolated oasis. I explained to Kim that we'd bought during a real estate downturn about fifteen years prior and gotten the property at a song; we'd built when rates were low and builders were crying for work.

Kim was blown away as we pulled through the electric gates into the circular driveway off of Route A1A. The two-story home is superbly landscaped and presents well. Front to back there is a lot of glass; as we went up a few steps to the front door you could look through the house and see the ocean over some dunes about three hundred feet away.

Kim kept saying, "Wow!" I explained to her that I called this my "Wow House" because all my visitors always walk in and go "Wow". I gave Kim a walk through of the house, adjusting the air conditioning, hot water system, and turning on some of the circulating fans as we went from room to room.

I saved the master bedroom to last. The suite is an octagonal extension from the house with four wide floor-to-ceiling windows facing the ocean. The glass is one way, no one can see in. The king-size bed is situated so you can put up the shades and lie in bed and look at the ocean. It truly is one of the most spectacular rooms I've ever been in and it's mine. The living room and family room share the same view. An oversized swimming pool graces the back deck; you can be in the pool and also see the ocean. The house is built around the backyard. All of these are some of the "Wow!" factors that Kim responded to.

I pulled Kim to me and kissed her. She responded and said, "Shouldn't we shut the blinds?" I explained about the one-way glass to her. From the beach and even the pool deck all you saw were mirrored reflections. The glass gave privacy and also helped with the air conditioning.

Kim threw herself into my arms and started to undo my sport shirt. I was equally enthusiastic about removing her blouse and slacks. Soon we were hugging in the nude, my erection rising to meet her wet mound. We rubbed together and let our passion build. Kim pulled me right over to the window and stood in a very exposed way to the few people walking on the beach; she waved frantically but no one paid her any attention. She plunged back into my arms, kissed and then we went to the bed, tossing the spread into a pile on the floor as we got in next to each other.

I suggested that I pay special homage to her pussy being that it was National Pussy Week. Kim admitted that she hadn't seen the announcement but thought that we should honor all such holidays. She reclined against the pillow looking out to sea. I lay between her outstretched legs and slowly began a tantalizing and amorous assault on her pussy, initially with my tongue and then with fingers and tongue. I gave the whole area little butterfly kisses and breathed hot air on the key parts of the area. While I did this I reached up with alternate hands and kneaded her taut breasts. Kim moaned and held my head, directing me in small increments to various nearby parts of her anatomy. We were both in seventh heaven.

After about ten minutes of this I suggested that she close her eyes and give in to the pleasure. She quietly closed her eyes. I talked to her about love and how beautiful she was in mind, spirit and body. I increased my attention to her clitoris and her G-spot. Her breathing intensified. She made a series of little moans each a second or two apart from the next, and then she came with a small ejection of girl fluid into my mouth. She squeezed my head between her thighs as the exhilaration swept through her body. I occasionally tongued her clit as she floated back to earth; each time I extended the attention to that part of her beautiful body she twitched from head to foot.

Gradually she opened her eyes to rejoin the world from her transformative experience. She gave me a tender smile and pulled me up so we could kiss. After a few moments of my holding her gently, she ran her tongue down to my breasts and nipples that are extremely sensitive and then down to my pubic area, circled in little dots and dashes around the area, and then inhaled my semi-erect cock. I hardened immediately.

I watched as she did amazing things to me. Now she had me twitching and moaning. Finally, I pulled her up and said, "Straddle me. Let's make love." She inched her way back up my body, licking my nipples again. When she was in position over me she slowly lowered her moist cunt onto my cock. Penetration was a celebration of our love. We did not rush the thrusting even though I think we both had inclinations in that direction. Instead we turned the experience of our union into a tantric meditation focused not only on sex but also in making our union more intimate and expressive about our love for one another. We talked and whispered to each other.

We extended our love making to a half hour and then to an hour. I had not cum but Kim was able to experience several 'mini-orgasms' as she called them. I was certainly stimulated and hard as we experimented with the tantric techniques and a number of positions. Finally, Kim told me that she wanted me to cum inside her; that she was ready for the welcome event. We kissed yet again and we turned so she straddled me again. She stroked my chest with her erect nipples and allowed me to suck them, now harder than I had been doing.

My sucking and biting of her breasts triggered the muscles in her moist tunnel to begin their contractions and spasms. I thrust deeply into her, meeting the increase in her pelvic thrusts into me with equal energy. I know we could both not only feel but also sense the orgasm of our mate; we had reached a connection that was not only physical, but also mental and spiritual as we made love.

The explosion of my body fluids into her body was no surprise. Kim exploded at the same time, flooding us with her ejaculate on the outside as I did the same deep inside her body. We looked longingly and with love at each other. The ocean surf crashed in the background.

We lay together for over twenty minutes not saying a word to each other. We were alert and attentive but just silent and meditative. We kissed often and fondled frequently. Finally Kim excused herself to go to the bathroom. I followed a few minutes later.

"Put on your bikini and we'll walk the beach," I suggested. She agreed.

In five minutes we walked the boardwalk over the dunes and down to the wide ocean beach in front of my home. Looking back at my home from the beach one now saw the row of expensive homes of which mine was just one.

We strolled hand-in-hand in silence for a long distance. Kim was deep in thought and finally said, "Our making love back there," she gestured over her shoulder towards the house, "was the most beautiful experience in my life. We touched each other on so many different levels it was …" she paused searching for a word, then found it, "scary. I've never had that kind of out of body experience. You did that to me. It was wonderful but scary. Wow!" She pulled me to her lithe body and kissed me oblivious to the other people walking the beach and admiring our love.

"You rocked my world too," I said. "I've never done what we did before – an hour. I wouldn't have believed it was even possible for a man to do that, particularly a man my age. You excite me in ways to you can't imagine. You talk about levels – yes, you excite me on many, many levels."

We walked some more in thought. Kim finally said, "You're worried about our age difference aren't you?"

"Yes, but it's more than just my age," I admitted. "I'm twenty years older; I know I shouldn't worry about it but I do, even if fifty-three is the new forty-three? Somehow I think I won't live up to your hopes and expectations for a partner and that I'll lose you because I'm too ancient. You're young and athletic; as I get older I'll be even less resilient that I am now, especially in the sex department. Hell, I'll die years before you even start to get old. That's been my biggest worry since last Wednesday. I'm scared too and I don't know what to do about any of this except brood over it all, which I've been doing whenever we're not together. You caught me out just now."

Kim hugged me and looked into my eyes, "Nothing I can say or do will make you feel adequate except to say 'Thank you' for what you've given me theses few days and in particular the last two hours."

She paused and hugged me again; "I should share my big worries with you. You've arrived; you are where I want to get to in my life, in my career. I mean you have this wonderful house on the beach, a place in Maine, the condo right in downtown DC – and next to Lincoln Center, wow! I'm blown away and I'm even intimidated by it all. I'm thinking how can ever achieve such greatness in my life, have the toys I want, and make the kind of contributions you've made?"

She glanced at me then went on, "More importantly, you have such wisdom and have done such deep thinking about life and relationships and family and all. It scares me to think about it. You've got answers to questions I didn't even know existed! I feel like a kid. I'm not worthy to even be in the same room with you. I'm not near your equal; I'm so far behind racing to catch up."

I offered, "Well, that's what twenty years bumping into the right obstacles will get you, as well as the balls to charge $800 to $1,000 per hour as your billing rate. You end up with possessions, and while they're nice they're not a light in my life like you are for me. I don't see you as a kid and it's not a race. Take your time; enjoy the journey. I can see by the look on your face that there's not too much I could say to you to make you feel adequate right now is there?"

Kim shook her head "No." We just smiled weakly at each other. I was suddenly at a loss for words. I was wrapped in my own insecurities. I mean here was the this most beautiful young woman that I had fallen for and even as we stood in the sand I could feel her slipping away from me.

Finally I said, "Can we learn to live with our inadequacies? Can we create a relationship here – the two of us?" I looked at Kim and she had tears rolling down her cheeks. She clutched at me and just whispered, "Oh Ron, Oh Ron." I was starting to choke up too. In that brief instant we knew we'd lost each other.

We walked back to the house in silence still holding each other. I'm the one that didn't feel worthy. The sun was gone from the sky leaving only a rosy hue as the evening twilight fled. The eastern sky above my home was almost dark when we reached the house.

We cleaned up, dressed to the nines and I drove us down to the Amelia Island Plantation for drinks and dinner. Our dinner conversation was "neutral." We strolled around the resort after dinner talking about nothing in particular and everything in general. We stayed away from the sensitive subjects we'd found in each other's lives including our relationship. I remained at a loss for words. I know we both had a million to tell each other but nothing came out. I couldn't think what to say to hold us together. I was glad it was dark; the people we passed couldn't see the tears in my eyes.

We made love again back at the house but it didn't reach the intensity or touch us on as many levels as it had earlier. We cuddled and slept pressed against each other throughout the night. I took comfort in it and I think Kim did too. In the end it was wistful thinking on both our parts. Nothing had changed by morning.

When I woke up I knew Kim was leaving; she wasn't going to stay the full weekend. She packed and I drove her to the airport and helped put her luggage in her plane. We kissed goodbye. I told her I loved her and then she was gone into the sky. I stood and watched her plane takeoff and bank to the north and then climb until she was out of sight. I sighed and drove back to my empty home. I cried a lot that day and the next. I grieved my loss.

I convinced myself that I was right about the age thing. Twenty years was too great a gap. I was ready to wind down my career and she was just starting hers. She was a go-getter, I'd already gotten. She wouldn't have wanted me making suggestions to her throughout her life; I had all this "wisdom" I'd called it. What good was it?

Further, I figured I'd grossed her out by telling her about the foursome and ménage a trois that figured so prominently in my life when I was just a little older than she was. What was I thinking to share that with someone I'd just met? To her I am just a dirty old man with kinky sex habits.

And then I beat myself up over my wealth. I had to admit I was trying to snow her with the car and houses and all. I overdid it. I scared her. She'd even used those words; "it was scary," she'd said.

And then there was my own insecurity. Women don't like insecure men; I shouldn't have shown weakness. I should have been the rock for her and her insecurities. But I am the way I am, and she should have loved me just that way. Love is forgiving, especially unselfish and unconditional love. Or is it? Was my basic philosophy of life and love all wrong?

I moped around through the start of the following week. I finally flew up to Washington and lived out of my Watergate condo. My clients were tolerant of my heads down attitude that week. I told them I had a lot to do to keep adding value to their projects and this was just one of those weeks when I was in "production mode." The problem was I kept moping around the week after that and the week after that and so on. I think I hid it well though.

I tried to call Kim a couple of times but either I hung up before the call was completed or her secretary told me she was too busy to accept calls today. I had the feeling she'd told her not to take calls from me. I finally stopped. I wasn't exactly sure what I would have said. About four months after she'd left I had a bad crying jag one last night, and then steeled myself to life without Kim.

To be continued in Part 2.