All Comments on 'The Wedding Party: Wedding Jitters'

Something about weddings that are so horny... and the sex is so new and fun. You captured that here. Five.

I think you should get an editor. Good story line but stilted by grammar. Try this idea for the first sentence.

"I was walking down the hall. I could hear my wedding dress rustle with every step."

Change to:

"My wedding dress rustled with every step down the hall. "

or:

"My wedding dress rustled with every step as I walked down the hall with my parents. "

The location she is walking is not that relevant.

Pay attention to your writing, proofread it, or get an editor. At the end of page one, you have a full on fuck scene, followed by him putting her on her knees where she...opens his zipper to expose his dick for oral. Was he previously fucking her with some other cock? Perhaps a prick in place of one of his thumbs?

She mentioned that she was unsure how he would respond to her preference of sleeping nude. Since they had been intimate previously, had she never slept naked with him? Things like this jar a reader out of the story to make them contemplate the question it creates. Not a problem in a stroke story, but even on an erotic site one doesn't expect a stroke piece in Romance.

Beyond that, this is hardly romance; erotic couplings, maybe, loving wives, possibly? Romance should be more nuanced, a chunk of tickling and foreplay before we get to the "wham, bam, and thank you ma'am." Not one of your better efforts and a solid 2*.

This isn't ROMANCE. come on admins post stories in the RIGHT category.

This author just cheats with the scores. A really bad writer that should never try to post a romance. Fetish, bondage, non-consent, that's where you belong.

Hi there peoples! I didn't see that coming? Great story! That out of the way, these comments are what dropped out of the south end of a north bound bull! Come on Guys this is LITEROTICA expect the unexpected! Also it is FICTION it was made by the Author and the people in the story got fucked by 100 bull cocked man whore was her fiance upset"NO" WHY IT DOES NOT EXIST IT IS MADE UP ! PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE AND PLAY WITH YOUR OWN? Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

She is a whore, I doubt if she would be at all faithful after marriage.

Yes, I fell into the righteous indignation trap & I'm so pleased it turned out the way it did. So much better than cuck stories. Thanks

Nice twist at the end; didn't see that coming. Nice work.

I don't really like most of the writing under the Loving Wives category, yet, weirdly, I still don't myself reading them. Usually NOT stroking, never getting off, far more often, having to put it down, for the anger it stirs in me. Trust me, I LOVE slutty women, slutty wives too, as long as she's respectful of him, and him to her, then it's all fun.

That said, I read this expecting to get pissed off at some point, then, miraculously, the last page happened.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Did writing this "I need more than just you" story, with a plausible, workable solution for the party girl that was and thinks the good times are behind her.

I'd say most of that kind of cheating kind be eliminated with a couple of honest conversations.

My God, your gonna marry the man (or woman), but you can't tell him(her) what you really want in the bedroom?

Thanks for the great story!

Now that was HOT!!!

"The Wedding Party" series had several hot scenes, and the twist in the last tale was a nice touch. As for the errata, I have no problem with that, I was part of the AOL generation, I can read typonese.

This Wedding Party series is one of the best I’ve read. Very erotic, covering a lot of sexy scenarios (f/f, incest, groups, wives, etc.). thanks!

That is absolutely brilliant writing. The shaping of words to create the feeling that this was a stranger required precise and exacting wordcraft!

Loved every chapter. Exciting, just like it should be. Well written, great creativity. The ending nailed it. Role play, sexy teasing, killer story.

Thank you doll!

I was getting worried, but the ending was marvelous! Great series!

Unbelievable!

I was worried about the potential future problems until the final reveal.

Most excellent!

Loved the twist, and the series.