All Comments on 'Trina'

by Many Feathers

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  • 6 Comments
OVERLANDOVERLANDabout 18 years ago
FIVE!

I think that you got it just right. I think it's hard to pitch the conversations and the actions together to create a story that flows naturally like the flowing of liquids from our bodies and from bottles. Nice one! One tiny query; I spell Champagne like this! I don't know where they spell it like you do?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Cute

Reasonably well crafted.

Only 2 odd notes:

campagne!

A single man in his forties with only one child is not very likely to have had a vasectomy.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
I think I read this one before...

Nice story, suggestive, playful, and hot by turns.

The only real problem is that I could swear I've read it before, maybe 15 years ago. I mean, down to the final line. There were some additions / revisions (such as Viagra), but it was all very familiar.

Still, worth another read.

rudystahrmanrudystahrmanabout 18 years ago
bad spelling

You need a spell checker on your writing program. Otherwise, a hot sexy story with a good build of sexual tension.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Champaign vs. champagne

Champaign is a city in Illinois. The sparkling wine is spelled champagne. You really need the services of a good editor.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Champaigne?? Whatever douce bag...

...so he made an editing gaff. Sow what, what did you write?? Great story! 5!!

Anonymous
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