by SEVERUSMAX
Well. I like your style. Got muddy in the middle, around the dui area. Got lost in who said what. And the ends, a bit over the top, the swap around 7 person household talk. But, still a good story, wouldnt change it, per se just might slick it up a bit
Thing is that suspension of disbelief is complicated and the fact that so many people were opening up their...let's call it souls simply made it terrible, people aren't so open (even with friends of a lifetime) nonetheless you write smoothly.
Went from "trying to be sexy" to "just dumb" in about 3 paragraphs. And why does every shitty story have to include getting pregnant?