All Comments on 'Unlikely Love Pt. 01'

Tantalizing setup to what will surely be captivating storyline. Creating a story and writing well are two rather different endeavors; you show every sign of both based on your highly erotic first short story and now this beginning. Thanks for sharing your talent. More.

Fantastic start of a promising story.

Really nice story! Good character development, right amount of sex and looking forward to the next chapter.

Loved every word. Five stars.

A very promising beginning for what I believe is going to be a very enjoyable story. You have outlined the characters clearly and I am looking forward to a hot relationship developing between the two ladies though I suspect that Tamara will have some rough times ahead before a hopefully happy conclusion.

Fuck, this was so hot. You captured the sexual tension between them so well. Love how you wrote it from both characters' POVs. I especially liked the part where Elena fondled and sucked on Tamara's breasts, and then licked her pussy. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more. I jerked off so hard to this.

I love slow burn stories, though your first story was quite sexy I admit, so I was pleased that this one will be longer. Much potential for a complex storyline here and I can’t wait to read more! I do hope Alan gets what’s coming to him along the way...

A very promising part 1.

It's unusual to overlap the narratives of the 2 points of view to that extent, but I think it works because it's not just straight repetition, there are enough differences in those overlapped accounts.

You see, it's working, Anonymous is 'jerking off hard to this', and the protagonists haven't had their first sexual encounter yet! Great job.

Excellent work! On the edge for part 2!

Looking forward to part 2. Highly erotic and romantic story with complex characters.

Nice start to a hopefully very sexy series.

very good start looking forward to were it is going 5stars

Very stylish writing, with a great flair for varied scene, tone, atmosphere and feel. You're already drawn me into what I'm sure will be a fabulous read! Five stars from me - wish I could give more!

Great opening, I’m looking forward to what must surely be a slow burning seduction in the next few chapters.

This is a great opening, Christa! It has the right amount of restraint in Elena, makes everything more believable and real. I'm looking forward to how everything unfolds. Rooting for both of them and hoping for the least nasty of confrontations with Alan. A very well-written article and well-deserving all 5 stars.

A wonderfully sensitive and well-paced opening chapter, which gives us insights into your main characters in a sympathetic and unobtrusive manner. You bring off well that difficult feat of having two authorial voices at work. Five stars from me and then into the next chapter. x

I was raised to be a gentle person but when I hear about abuse I see red. I don't care what gender the abused or abuser is, it is wrong and I quickly begin to devise ways to harm said abuser. Yes this is violent, perhaps even wrong but to be victimised stays in your soul and to put any creature through that is an abomination to life itself. This story has enthralled me, I gladly continue.

Beautiful story, a woman scorned, abused and confused that is Tamara and a beautiful Lesbian Elena who had all the qualities to rectify Tamara's situation if she had only kissed Tamara passionately, I believed Tamara would have been smitten.

nice story great read

Great writing.

I have just finished part 6. It is a wonderful slowly unfolding story that is so satisfying to read.

Definitel;y re-readable

What a beautiful story from a beautiful young woman

Just read part 1 and I feel I’m falling in love with both these women and I want to seriously hurt the husband for being such a pig

Christa very very well done and I can’t wait to read the rest of the story

Jude

XXXXX

A well-written story that has potential with two distinctly developed main characters. I though have some observations to think about for future stories.

When doing the dual-perspective storytelling the overlap of experiences should be minimal. Only retell the same event in instances when both characters’ exact reactions are necessary for the furtherance of the plot, and then preferably in retrospect for the second character. Otherwise it is just a lot of repetition for the reader which ruins the flow of the story, especially when the author retells the same dialog again. If you cannot convey the necessary reactions of the second character in the first character’s narrative then have the second character think back on it in a later narrative to get their perspective.

It’s sad that the “all men are evil” storyline is used just because it is a lesbian story; it seems very unnecessary and off-putting.

It is quite natural that persons in a stale marriage can fall in love with other people and break up, it’s doesn’t seem needed to make the husband an abusive wife-beater to justify it. Again it goes back to the unnecessary use of the “all men are evil” trope. There are good storylines to be had with an abused wife being saved by a new love interest, but doing it under the umbrella of “all men are evil” makes it a hollow plot point because then her situation is just par for the course.

Also, it’s quite right that a woman (or a man, for that matter) should be able to dress to feel beautiful and sexy, but Elena clearly states that she does it to taunt “the evil men” with what they can’t have, which is quite unattractive. Hopefully Elena matures a bit during the coming chapters.

P.S.

This is not to hate but it's an obvious pattern. The 80's had a lot of action movies. Eventually they became caricatures of themselves and the popularity of those movies declined. Why bring this up? A common theme in this section is men being some type of evil and women resorting to lesbianism to free themselves or something of that kind. In other words the pattern and conclusion of these stories is no longer a surprise but a formula. No more: I wonder what's going to happen? But I know what is going to happen. Sure women who have been burned by men will read these stories like dogma but lesbian love must of other incarnations - it can't be "mad bad" all the time. This is not a personal attack just an opinion with the hope of inspiring new lesbian themes.

Stay Happy.

girl, you are very talented, keep on the good work, very nice story

I acknowledge some of the criticisms that others have noted. Maybe I'm too indulgent but I don't observe Elena proclaiming that all men are scum. The toxic culture of her employer company rankles her, but you have added enough detail to document adequately that toxicity. Alan the one-dimensional wife-beater is a trifle too convenient to the plot, but to me it shows that you have carefully designed the story.

I am perplexed that this expository chapter has not garnered a better overall rating. You are a talent and diligent author, who deserves my respect and gratitute. 5 stars.

A very well crafted story. I happily gave it a rating of five stars.

What l don’t understand is why some writers have to copy other writers work and put there own spin on it and then don’t even make a good job of it.

I have enjoyed the first chapter, however I must apologize for not being as analytical as others..If I like a story, I keep reading it. If I do not enjoy it, I have empowered my "mouse" to move on..Thank You

Oh Christa! Delightfully written. Your words and the low were just perfect. Again, I felt as if I was there with E & T. I look forward to so much more.

Bravo!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Jakeped that is a strong claim. Which story?