"What could be the harm in that?"

"Well son, I've got some news to share with you."

"Are you okay Dad?"

"Physically yes, emotionally no."

"What do you mean?"

"Glenn, there is no easy way to say this. I'm divorcing your mother."

Stunned silence on the other end of the line. After about a minute he says softly, "What did she do?" I can tell by the tone he has already guessed.

"She has decided that doing things with someone else is more important than doing them with me."

"Really?!! What the hell, how long has this been going on?" He asks.

"I'm not sure, but I think a few months." I say.

"Man, I'm sorry to have to hear that Dad."

"Yeah, I'm sorry to have to tell you."

"So, what are you going to do?" He asks.

"I had her served this morning. I'm divorcing her."

"You don't think you can work this out?" He asks.

"Glenn, if Janie cheated on you what would you do?" I asked.

He thought for less than a minute and then said, "She'd be gone. I'd throw her ass out."

Janie is Glenn's steady girlfriend. In fact, Glenn had confided in me that he is going to ask her to marry him on New Year's Eve. He already has a ring on layaway. I'm so happy for them.

"Please don't call your sisters. I want to tell them. I'll try to get ahold of them this evening."

"I won't Dad. I'll call you tonight and discuss this some more."

"Thanks Glenn, thank you for understanding."

"We'll get through this Dad."

"Don't hate your mom for this. This is between me and her. She's still your mom and will need your support through this."

"I don't know how much support I can give her Dad." He stated.

"I know, but you've got to try." I said.

"Okay Dad. She is still my mom. I love her even though I don't like what she's done."

"I understand Glenn, I still love her too, I just don't like her very much anymore."

"I'm sorry Dad, you don't deserve this."

"You take care son."

"You too Dad."

"Bye for now."

"See you Dad."

I hung up and sat there staring out into space. I was lost in thought. Just then my phone rang and I answered it without even thinking.

"Hello?" I said.

There was silence for a few seconds on the other end of the line. Then a voice said, "Kurt? Oh Kurt, thank you for answering. We need to talk about this. I need ..." I ended the call. It was Sue and I didn't want to talk to her. I shut my phone back off and sat there staring at it. I would need to talk with her sometime, but not now.

Sue

I got through to Kurt on the phone but he hung up on me before I could say what I wanted to say. Honestly, I was surprised he answered. I had gotten voice mail so often that I wasn't expecting to get him in person. Now that he had answered it really hit me. What am I going to say to him? How could I explain what I had done? Of course, I could say I am sorry, but what else? I decided that I should think about it and get my thoughts together about what I am going to say when we do finally talk.

I drove on in deep thought when I heard a 'ding' and thought, "What was that?" I looked around in the Yukon and then at the dash, low fuel was being displayed. I had never heard that before or even seen that before. Kurt always kept my tank filled up, I never had to pump my own gas.

I'm not sure how long I could drive before running out of gas so I start looking for a gas station immediately. I found a station, not one of the widely known ones but it has gas and that is what is important. I get out, grabbing my purse and dig out my debit card. I put the card in, punch in my number and pull out the nozzle. I turn around and look for the gas cap. "Damn" I say, it is on the other side of the truck. I hang the nozzle back up and get back in and turn the truck around.

I had to put my debit card in again and pulled the nozzle back out. Now I couldn't get the door open on the gas tank. I looked to pull on it but it didn't have anywhere to put a finger in to open it. I didn't remember ever seeing a button on the dash to open it. I looked around, there was no one else pumping gas so I couldn't ask for help. I put the nozzle back and went inside. There was a guy behind the counter watching television. I could here the audience really getting loud. When I looked, I saw that it was a Jerry Springer rerun.

"Excuse me." I said.

He said, "Can I help you?" barely taking his eyes off the screen.

"I don't know how to get to my gas cap."

He looked at my vehicle and asked, "How long have you been driving it?"

"A couple years, but my husband fills it up for me."

"Just push on the right edge of door and it pops open."

All of a sudden, the crowd on the T.V. got loud and sounded a bit angry. The guy behind the counter looked at the T.V. and said softly, "What a bitch"

"What?" I said.

"Sorry, not you. The woman on the show." He said as he motioned to the T.V. I looked over and saw the caption on the bottom of the screen. It read, "I've cut my husband off ... but not my boyfriend."

I stood there staring as the woman said, "He is a great father and provider, but he doesn't do it for me anymore in the bedroom."

I just stared, then the attendant said, "I can't believe the bitch, how could she do that to him?"

I felt like I had to defend her, "Maybe she needed to feel she is still beautiful."

"If her husband doesn't make her feel that way then she should just divorce him. I know if I was him, I'd drop her like a bad habit. I'd kick her to the curb."

I couldn't say anything, that is what Kurt was doing to me. I turned red, turned and walked out and mindlessly went to my Yukon.

I opened the gas cap door, took the cap off and pulled the nozzle out and put it in the hole. I turned around and put my debit card back in. It wouldn't authorize me. I walked back in and asked the attendant why.

"Let me try it in here." He said. He tried it and said, "It won't work, do you have a different card?"

"Oh no!" I thought, "Did Kurt cancel my card?" I pulled out my purse and handed him my Mastercard. ... Luckily that one still worked.

"You're all set. I thought maybe your cards got canceled." He said giving me a look that said, "I'll bet they'll be canceled soon."

I filled up and drove off, my mind spinning with the possible consequences of my actions. I tried calling Kurt again and just got voicemail again.

Kurt

I wasn't expecting to hear Sue on the other end of the line. I thought it was Glenn calling me back with something he wanted to say to me. What was I going to say to her when we did talk.

I wondered where she was calling me from so I checked her GPS. She was a little over ½ way back to Aberdeen. I don't want to talk to her, I've got to go somewhere else. I don't want to be here when she gets back.

I go upstairs and pack a couple bags. When I walk back down into the living room I see the picture over the mantel, our family photo taken while the kids were still young. Those were happier times, finances were tighter back then but we were happy raising our three kids.

On the mantel was our wedding picture. I just stared at it. She had destroyed our family. I walked over to the mantel, picked up the photo and smashed my fist into it. The glass shattered in the frame and there was a little blood from one of my knuckles. I took my wedding band off, set it on the mantel and laid the photo face down on it.

I looked around and then walked out to my car, leaving the door unlocked. I drove away, I would spend the night in a hotel.

After I checked in, I called Julia, my second child.

"Hey Jools (my nickname for her)."

"Hi Dad, what's up?"

"Do you have time to talk?" I asked.

"Sure Dad, this sounds serious."

"It is honey."

"Go ahead, I'm listening."

"Jools, your mother and I are having some issues."

"Dad, you and mom were having issues before I left for college 2 years ago. What is the problem now?"

"Well, you know we both love you, all of you guys, it's just that things have happened recently that has brought it all to a head. There is no easy way to say this. We're getting a divorce."

"Dad ... I hate to hear that, but to be honest it doesn't surprise me. Before I left for college you guys had been fighting quite a bit. It just seemed that you guys were never relaxed around each other. I don't know what the problems were, but I'll tell you this, you two weren't the same parents I grew up with."

That was my Jools, she had always been the perceptive one. She could tell almost immediately when Glenn or Rachel were worried or upset about something, even before Sue and I noticed anything.

"Well it had nothing to do with you kids. It was something between me and your mom."

"So, have you guys tried counseling? It could help."

"I think it's beyond that now honey." I said.

"I wished you'd try Dad. I'd hate to see either of you alone."

"I'll think about it." I said not very convincingly.

"Really Dad, think about it. Talk to someone first before you guys decide to throw it all away."

"I'll think about it." I said with more conviction in my voice.

"I've talked to Glenn already and told him and I'll be calling Rachel a little later. Don't worry, Jools, I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks Dad." She said with a hitch in her voice. I could tell she was about to cry.

"I'll let you go. I love you, remember that. We both love you." Now I was the one about to cry.

"Love you too Dad."

I hung up the phone and turned it off, I couldn't talk. I was all choked up and I was starting to cry. "Why is she doing this to us." I said aloud.

I sat on the bed in the hotel room and cried for about 10 minutes. Cried for 26 years going down the drain.

Sue

I drove into the driveway and noticed Kurt's car was not there. I guess, in reality, I knew it wouldn't be. I got out and walked to the front door, I didn't need my key, when I grabbed the knob it opened right up. That was unusual, Kurt must still be here, maybe his car is in the garage.

I walk in and tentatively call out his name. No answer, he has to be here, he never leaves the door unlocked. I walk through, somehow the house feels too empty. I look around and don't really notice anything has changed. I look to the fireplace and see the family picture still hanging there reminding me of better times.

Then I notice our wedding picture. It's lying face down on the mantel. I walk over and lift it up. I notice the glass is shattered, some lying on the mantel, among the glass is Kurt's wedding ring.

"Oh my God, what have I done?"

Kurt

After I had cried myself out, I turned my phone back on to call Rachel, my baby girl.

"Hey Dad, I tried calling you and it went to voicemail. I couldn't leave a message though, it's full."

"Hi Rachel, what were you calling about?"

"Dad, Julia called me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask her not to call you. I wanted you to hear it from me first. So, what did she tell you?"

"You're getting a divorce. Is that right?"

"Yes, I have filed." I said.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised."

"Huh?" I said.

"Dad, you and mom were fighting for a couple years, then about a year and a half ago you just stopped. You hardly talked. All you guys did was talk about bills to be paid, work to be done around the house, and if you were going to any friend's house that weekend."

I had to take a few seconds to let it sink in. My youngest daughter had determined years ago that we weren't really acting as a married couple anymore. It was no surprise to her that we were getting a divorce. She hadn't even asked why, or why now.

"Wow, I guess I didn't even realize that." I said to her.

"Dad, we all know you both love us, I just don't know if you love each other. If you do, you haven't shown it. Dad, you've got to do what is going to make you happy. I wouldn't want you living in a loveless marriage for the rest of your life just because you're supposed to or because of us kids, we're all adults now."

"Rachel, you always have been the one to tell it like it is. Thank you. You've made this decision that much easier. I love you."

"I love you too Dad. I'll stand behind you no matter what. I'll always be here for you. You're my Dad."

I was choking up. "I've got to go." I said. "I'll call you tomorrow."

I hung up and turned my phone back off. Now I really didn't want to talk to anyone.

Sue

My phone rang, I looked at it and saw it was Julia calling me. How was I going to talk to her, what would I say? After the 3rd ring I answered. "Hi Julia, how are you doing?"

"How are you doing, is the better question?"

"Fine, why?" I asked, hoping that Kurt hadn't talked to our children.

"Dad called me." She said.

"What did he have to say?" I asked, still not sure what she knew. I hoped she didn't know anything.

"He told me you two are getting a divorce."

I gasped, "We're not getting a divorce. It's just a misunderstanding."

"Well, it sounded more serious when I spoke to him."

"We'll get through this." I told her, trying to convince myself too.

"Rachel said he already filed." She told me.

"Yeah, I got served this morning." I said solemnly.

"I know before I left for college there was a lot of tension and you guys were fighting a lot. Rachel said after I went to college you guys stopped fighting and hardly talked."

Had it really been going on for that long? After the years of fighting and tiptoeing around each other it actually felt good to not fight anymore. We just went about our days taking care of what needed to be done.

"I think you and Dad should go to counseling. That might help you two to patch things up." She said.

"That sounds like a good plan. I'll discuss that with him if I ever get to talk to him." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I keep trying to call him and he won't answer. I'm at home now and he is not here. Do you know where he went? Did he say when you spoke with him?"

"No Mom, I assumed he was home with you."

"No, he's left, and if I know your father, he has gone somewhere I won't be able to find him.

I thought about where he could be, a hotel, or a friend's house. I should check if he's taken a change of clothes. I walked up to our room, there were open doors and drawers.

"Julia, I need to try to find your father. I'll call you if I find him. If you hear from him please tell him to call me."

"Sure Mom, I'll call you tomorrow unless I hear from him earlier."

"Thanks Julia, I love you."

"I know mom, I love you too."

Kurt

I really wasn't hungry, but I hadn't eaten all day so I ordered a pizza to be delivered. I thought about what Rachel had said. We hadn't really been much of a couple for the last 3 years, damn menopause. Why couldn't she have taken the Hormone Replacement Therapy. That could have alleviated a lot of these problems. That was really when all of this started. Her doctor had told her it would help her through menopause, but she "didn't want to take any drugs." Even after Rachel was born I had to wear rubbers because she didn't want to get pregnant and also didn't want to take birth control. I had enjoyed the feeling of not wearing them while we were trying to have kids, so I decided to get a vasectomy instead of wearing the rubbers.

When the pizza came, I sat on the bed watching T.V. and eating pizza. I can tell you there isn't much worth watching on Saturday night. My mind wasn't into it, it was just background noise.

Sue

I turned on the T.V. but didn't find anything that could take my mind off of what I was going through. My mind spun and the T.V. became just background noise.

Seeing the empty closet and drawers really made it hit home for me. Strange, you'd think getting served divorce papers would do it. Having a real physical sign that my husband had left me meant that I couldn't just talk my way out of this. My marriage may truly be over.

I wouldn't deal with the empty drawers and closet tonight, I would sleep in one of the kids rooms.

"Oh my God, I've got to call Glenn and Rachel, try to get them on my side. Maybe if they all talked to Kurt they could at least get him to talk to me. Maybe even considered marital counseling.

I picked up the phone and called Glenn. It rang 4 times then someone answered it. I heard, "Glenn, it's your mother, you've got to talk to her." It was Janie, Glenn's steady girlfriend and soon to be his wife. He had confided with Kurt and I that he was going to ask her at New Years to marry him.

"I don't want to talk to her!" I heard in the background.

"Glenn! Take this phone, you need to talk to her." She said. Then to me, "He'll be right with you mom."

I guess that answers one of my questions. Kurt must have told him why he was divorcing me.

"Mom." He said unemotionally.

"Oh Glenn, you need to help me to get your Dad to talk to me."

"I don't even want to talk to you, why would Dad want to." He said.

"Oh my God, this may have destroyed my relationship with my son as well as my husband." I thought to myself.

"Glenn, I don't know what your father told you, but I know we can work this all out if he would just talk to me."

"I don't think so mom. Anyways, I don't know where he is and if you can't get ahold of him I'm sure he has his phone turned off."

"Well if you hear from him please ask him to call me."

"Okay mom, but I'm not going to beg him. "

"Thank you, Glenn, I love you."

He hung up without even saying good-bye.

Next, I called Rachel. "Hi dear, how are you doing?" I said when she answered, trying to keep the conversation light.

"I'm doing fine Mom. How are you?" She was keeping the conversation light also. I wondered why.

"Have you heard from your father?" I asked.

"Yeah, he called me earlier today. To be honest Mom I expected to get that call a year ago, shortly after I left to college."

"Why would you say that?"

"Mom, you and Dad were hardly talking at all for the last year I was there. I never saw you touch each other, let alone kiss. I think you both need to find someone you can be happy with."

Rachel, my youngest was always the pragmatic one. I kind of pity the guy she ends up with, she'll definitely tell it the way it is and if he doesn't like it, she won't care. However, maybe she'll find someone that will put her in her place.

"Well, if you could ask him to please talk to me, I would really appreciate it. I think he would listen to you." She's his baby girl, of course he'll listen to her.

"Okay Mom, I hope he calls you."

"Me too, Rachel, me too." I said as we ended the call.

My son was mad at me and my youngest daughter didn't seem to care if we got a divorce or not. Wow, I really fucked up.

I stayed up until almost midnight and no calls from my children or my husband. I decided to go to bed, alone. I stayed in Julia's room, it made me feel somewhat comforted since she, at least, wanted us to go to counseling.

Kurt

I was beat. Truth be told I hadn't gotten very much sleep over the last 2 weeks and I was crashing hard. The adrenaline of the day was gone. I went to bed and slept the sleep of the dead until 11:00 Sunday morning.

I showered and didn't bother shaving. When I sat down to eat some reheated pizza, I decided to call the kids and let them know I was still alive. They were all glad to hear from me and also, they all told me that Sue had called and asked me to call her.

I decided today was the day. We would talk and, unless Hell froze over, I'd be proceeding with the divorce.

I dialed the number I knew so well and she picked up on the first ring.

"Oh Kurt, thank you for calling. First I want to say I'm sorry."

"The kids asked me to call you. What do you want?" I said unemotionally.

"I want to talk, can we do that?"

"We're talking right now, so talk."

"No, I mean face to face. Will you come home so we can sit down and discuss this together?"

I thought a second, then said, "Sure, I need to pick up a few things I left anyways." That ought to let her know where I stood on the subject.