Wishing on a Star

"...and I love you, too," you say while reading this alone in your room and for no one to hear. You're pathetic, but you don't have to be, at least, not in this day of the computer, the Internet, and age of life altering events.

Are you fortunate enough to already know the identity of your ideal woman or man? Well, you are way ahead of many others who are fickle and change from People Magazine issue to People Magazine issue. Alas, are they so inaccessible because you are so average in appearance and/or intelligence and they are so handsome or beautiful and/or intelligent, talented, and rich? Maybe, he or she is a celebrity, a movie star or a singer.

Okay, for those of you who are interested in Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Bolton, Barry Manilow, and Pee Wee Herman, I can't help you. I have my limits. For all others, please continue reading because you are really going to like this part of the story.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star...I wonder where and who you are."

Are you still hoping and yearning to meet that special someone? It's tough not having anyone in your life, isn't it? No one wants to be alone and lonely. Everyone deserves someone. We are all better people when there is someone special in our lives to laugh and talk to, while suffering the trials and tribulations that is living life.

"Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

Maybe Cupid's arrow has struck your heart and made you fall in love with someone that you think is special, but everyone else perceives as ordinary at best. Maybe, as are you, indeed, he or she is average and even though you long for them and lust after them, there still is no connection with you from them on any level. Now, that is so tragically sad and emotionally painful to love someone from afar who does not return the feelings that you have for them.

Maybe he or she is your next door neighbor or someone who you see on the subway on your way to work or who you work with every day. Is he or she a close friend perhaps, someone who would never think to take it to the next level with you. Maybe he or she is someone who takes you in his or her confidence about his or her romantic relationships and sexual dalliances with others, who are less than you in every way? Oh, if only they would look at you in the way they look at those others imagine how happy you'd be.

It makes your heart skip a beat when you see the one you love on the street, doesn't it? Then, it makes it difficult to breathe when they see you on the street and pass you by with nothing more than, "Hi." Never do they give you more than a passing hello and never do they look twice at you. Never do they stop to take the time to regard you with a smile or a kind word. If only they'd look in your direction. Instead, they look right through you, as if you're not even there. If only they'd see past the outside appearance and see you for the great human being that you are. If only they'd stop and engage you in conversation and listen to what it is you have to say.

"I love you."

You're a good person with a lot of great qualities and if only they took the time to talk to you and took the time to get to know you, you'd definitely win them over and make them fall in love with you, too. You imagine the conversations you'd have with them. You imagine all the laughing and all the fun that they are missing out on by not being with you. You imagine the scenarios of all the places you'd go and all the shows and events that you'd attend with them, if only they'd give you a chance, one lousy chance, to show them how truly wonderful you are. You imagine your first kiss by the sea, on the mountaintop, in your car, at the mall, at the park, or while you are in your underwear alone in your room.

"Cheeky!"

You're wearing your new outfit today, only they still haven't noticed you. How do you get them to notice you? What do you have to do to be noticed? You have the urge to jump up and down in front of them naked, while waving your arms and yelling, "Hello! I'm over here. Look at me. Do you like my cock? Do you like my tits?" Notice again that I didn't write do you like my cock and my tits. Again, that's a different kind of story for the transsexual and transgender readership of this site.

They make you feel insignificant and invisible, don't they? They make you feel, as if you don't exist. You're not part of their world, are you? A world apart, you see their shining star but from afar, light years away in another galaxy. Twinkle, twinkle, if only they'd take note and notice of you. If only they'd talk to you, they'd discover how wonderful you are, how special you could be together, and what a romantic couple the two of you would make.

"...Any they lived happily ever after. Twinkle, twinkle little star...I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight."

You've even fantasized about saving their lives, haven't you? That's kind of creepy weird, but a good idea, if you could pull that one off. Yet, unable to develop a serendipitous situation where you are there at that very instant of their impending doom to save their ungrateful ass from certain death, it's hopeless. You don't want to make their nearly fatal accident appear too obvious or too arranged nor do you want them or you to die, of course, in the process of saving their life from a speeding car, a falling piano, a burning building or a fall from a bridge or a ridge. You wish. You dream. You plot. You scheme. God damn it! Never have they even answered any of your fan mail. What the Hell?

"Help! Help!"

You imagine them calling out to anyone within earshot and it is you, only you, of all people, who comes to their rescue.

"Don't despair. I'm here to save you."

Only, instead of getting them in bed for some hot sex, receiving their undying love in eternal gratitude, and/or a marriage proposal, you get a tearful hug and/or a hearty handshake, along with a restraining order demanding that you stay away from them for the rest of your miserable life. Now, that's not fair, is it?

"Thank you so much for saving my life. Goodbye...forever."

"Yeah, gees, you're welcome," you say gazing at their beautiful face and perfect body, before staring at their amazing ass, as they walk away, and imagining them naked and in bed with you. You think it and too late, you can't believe you are saying it, and calling after them. "You know, a French kiss and allowing me to fondle your firm, round ass would go a long way in showing me your gratitude for saving your miserable life, asshole." If only you had not uttered that, maybe they would have not felt the need to take out that restraining order against you. In hindsight, you would have said it anyway. They were leaving, after all.

Alas, if only you were in the tiny confines of a trapped elevator with them alone, maybe they'd notice you then. Suddenly, the elevator stops and the light goes out, before the dim emergency light comes on with a beeping noise to make those know that the elevator is stuck.

"Help! I'm trapped in the tiny confines of a stuck elevator alone. Can anyone hear me?"

"I can hear you," you say to them in disbelief that they didn't even notice you standing there behind them in the trapped tiny confines of a stuck elevator.

"Where'd you come from?"

"I was behind you," you say with a shocked look that they never even noticed you, "stuck with you in the same tiny confines of this trapped elevator."

"Oh, sorry, I thought I was alone. I didn't notice you." See what I mean? That's just so wrong.

Ah, if only there was such a thing as a witch's love spell or a wizard's love potion that would work on the person of your dreams. How easy would that be to finally get the one who you love? Sure, it's not fair that you tricked someone into falling in love with you like that, yet, what if there was such a thing? Would you suspend your ability of disbelief to believe that it would and that it could work to make the one you want love you? I would, if I was in love enough and desperate enough for the love of my fantasy to love me. How about you? Would you try it? How much would you pay for such a witch's brew or wizard's talisman?

Or are you of the mindset that you believe that witches and wizards exist as much as dragons and a free meal exist? There's no such thing, you say. Hogwash. I refuse to believe in any of that mumbo jumbo. Yet, love is blind, you know, and that's half the battle. Okay, I'm not telling you to throw acid in the eyes of your intended, so that they can't see what you look like and you'd have a better chance of them falling in love with you because, you're so old, fat, and ugly, perhaps. Yes, love is blind, but that's just a saying and not something for you to make happen on the possibility that you'd have a better opportunity at the one you love, if they can't even see you because they are now blinded by the acid you threw in their face.

If you don't believe in witches and wizards, do you believe that with the help of modern technology, you can bridge the gap of love with science? Or do you think it's all a ruse? And do you more believe in the lyrics of Diana Ross's song, You Can't Hurry Love?

"You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. She said love don't come easy. It's a game of give and take. You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. You got to trust, give it time, no matter how long it takes."

Shades of Frankenstein but better, for there are red hearts, sweet violins, and fragrant roses at the end of this monstrous undertaking. She loves me. She loves me not. Only there is a moral dilemma to winning the love of someone through science. Nonetheless, if Cryonics, cloning, stem cell research, test tube babies, facelifts, breast implants, steroids, and human growth hormones don't bother you, then why should the science of love put you off? It's just programmed research to your benefit after all. There's nothing to get excited about, actually, through science, there's a lot to get excited.

Yes, I know, poor pitiful you, there's always someone to pee on your party, isn't there? There's always someone who will take the fun out of a free balloon, a free pen, and a wad of cash found in the snow attached, only by the frozen hand of the elderly dead gentleman or lady, who vowed to take it with him or her in death. What a dilemma? What would you do? Should you call the police or take the cash and leave hoping no one finds their dead, frozen body, until spring thaw? The fact that that's your mother of you father, shouldn't make a difference, should it? Yet, that's for another time in another story.

"I don't think it right to fool with love and tamper with another's emotions," said Edna wearing her hair so tightly pulled back that it gave her a permanent strained smile and one Hell of a wicked bad headache. Her collar was so tightly closed around her scrawny neck to deny anyone a down blouse view of her prune sized shriveled tits that you wished she would just choke and die. "I believe in fate, kismet, and if it was meant to happen, then it will happen," she said while adjusting the stick up her ass, before heading home alone to eat ice cream and watch Gilligan Island reruns with her cat, Mr. Clean, sitting and purring on her lap.

What if I told you that by genetically altering the genes of a cat and a rat, we could make them live harmoniously with one another? Strange science, but most would believe that it is true because we have the scientific ability to do just that with DNA today in the lab. Dr. Jeckyl can no longer hide Mr. Hyde. His real existence is only a mind altering chemical cocktail away today. Unfortunately, those who have tried it, as a way to escape the drudgery and dreariness of life have not lived to see another day.

Yet, we as humans, are so much more advanced than mere cats and rats, well, most of us are, that is. We are rational, thinking, superior beings, who can feel and who can love. We deserve better than being the guinea pig of a mad scientific experiment that explores and then exploits our emotions to the core and that can alter not only our ability to love but also who, when, and where we love. How dare we tamper with chance, fate, and kismet?

Yet, c'mon, be honest, think about it. Think about the possibilities of it. Examine the prospects of finally having the person you love in your life, by doing it through science instead of love, kismet, and fate. How many of you would pay good money for information, secret scientific studies, on how you can win that gal or guy you've been lusting and longing over? If you are willing pay, how much would you pay to hand pick the one to love?

Well, of course, that depends on two things, your personal finances and how much you want that gal or guy. Not to mention, different people would have different prices. For sure, since they are so rich, you'd have to pay more for Bill Gates or Oprah to fall in love with your ass, just as you'd have to pay more money for Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to fall in love with you. I only use those four people as merely examples of the power of scientific experimentation and laboratory alteration of the process of love.

Do you think it possible to win someone's affection just by compiling information and learning everything about them, right down to studying their DNA makeup? Skeptical? Maybe you'd more believe if suddenly, your pre-written and memorized responses not only captured their attention but also their heart. Shades of trickery and deception, but for a good cause, your eternal happiness and hopefully marital bliss may change how you think about science, when you're making your romantic possibilities and you're controlling your love matches, instead of leaving them to chance and allowing fate and kismet to make it happen.

No longer do you have to hope that if it was meant to happen, it will happen because science will make it happen. Only, no one must know. You can't tell anyone. Telling anyone would surely make your intended suspect foolery on your part and would ruin everything and make them go search for the potion that would reverse the scientific process and the spell that you managed to put them under.

Moreover, for sure, we don't want someone else using science against you to make you love them, now do we? Egad, how awful would that be for your fated romantic inclination to be used against you? All of that research and all of that planning would backfire on you and ruin everything, now wouldn't it? Although unproven, I wonder if one scientific study would cancel out the other scientific study when used against one another. Interesting. Or maybe, in a reversal of effects, it would be your perfect match, your soul mate. Now, that is something that I will have to research some at the computer lab tonight.

But, in the meantime...by the way, although this is not a guaranteed process, yet, read the fine print. There are no refunds. Sorry.

What if I told you that I designed a computer program and programmed a supercomputer that, after having you respond with pertinent answers to probing questions that not only will you get that guy or gal in bed but also you may end up in happily wedded matrimony? Now, if that's not an oxymoron than I don't know what is, happily wedded matrimony. Is there any such thing? Is anyone happily wedded in matrimony?

Okay, all of you who are happily wedded and who take offense at happily wedded matrimony being used as an example of an oxymoron; give your marriage a few more years with a few more kids and lots more bills and then get back to me. Yeah, I figured as much.

By the way, I saw your husband at the strip club and he was getting more than his lap danced from Tiffany, if you know what I mean. Oh, and, by the way, your beloved wife...is a lesbian, you lucky bastard. She and her neighbor are closer friends than you ever imagined. If I were you, I'd set up a video camera in your bedroom and tape some of this stuff. This is just too good to be true. Hey, think of the bright side, now, you can have that threesome you have always fantasized about. Only, is this your idea of marital bliss? It is, if you are into the swinging lifestyle. Yet, that is another story for another time for the group sex category.

Okay, back to my scientific studies. What I propose is not flimflam, but science. What I am writing about here is science at its purest, the science of human nature, a topic that we have an abundant supply thanks to Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Alfred Alder, and Erik Erikson to name only a few of the most prominent behaviorists of the psychology of human nature and the human condition. I have spent my entire adult life, since the advent of the personal computer, researching this human science. It is a breakthrough I tell you and I wouldn't be surprised if I won the Nobel Prize...next year...or the year after...maybe.

No, I am not drunk or crazy. That's right; you can stand me up beside Al Gore. You tell me, which would you prefer, reduced global warming or increased body warming? Yeah, I figured as much. You're not much different than me, transparent, horny, and lonely.

If I told you that I could guarantee you results by you sending me one dollar, most of your would respond, even the skeptical ones. What do you have to lose, it's only a buck...and what if he is right? Finally, I'd have the one I love in my life. Hey, it's worth a dollar just to see him fail.

Yet, what if I told you that it would cost one hundred dollars or a thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars or even one hundred thousand dollars for you to have the one you want, then that would put you off enough for you not to invest that sum of money for a chance at sex, romance, and love with your fantasy lover, now wouldn't it? It's okay for me to mark it with a price, I invented the Wish Upon A Star Love, Romance, and Sex Program, after all, but how dare you put a price on love, romance, and sex? We only have one life to live. Why not live it with the one you want and the one that you not only fall in love with but also the one that you chose to love?

Listen, do I look like a pimp to you? This is not prostitution and I am not a pimp. I am a respected scientist, a human behaviorist, and a student of humanism, kind of, not really, not at all. Yes, I know, if it sounds too good to be true, but trust me. Have I ever lied to you? Okay, well that was just in one of my stories. Never mind. What about Bostonfictionwriter don't you or do you believe? I write fiction about Boston, albeit this story has nothing to do with Boston, unless we pretend that my lab is in Boston, Massachusetts across the Charles River from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard and down the road from Boston University.

Yet, seriously, do you think that I'd sit here and waste my time creating a computer program, the Wish Upon A Star Love, Romance, and Sex Program that guarantees you winning the affection of that hottie for a measly one hundred or one thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars or even one hundred thousand dollars? No way. Sorry, guy or gal, but this is a program affordable only to the wealthy or, at least, someone who can afford to pay me one million dollars for my services.

So, what do you get for a million bucks? You'll received the kind of specialized information which will deliver you lifelong happiness or until you divorce him or her for someone else who has caught your eye and has made you a return customer for my Wish Upon A Star Love, Romance, and Sex Program. Sorry, but that will cost you another million bucks.

That's right. To gain the key to unlock the heart of your beloved will cost you one million American dollars in cash and in small, unmarked bills delivered to a secret location in the Cayman Islands. I dare write, it is only those who can envision the value of such a scientific dream union that I want as my customers.