All Comments on 'Exploring Feelings Ch. 01'

When I stopped reading: 1st - I almost stopped reading when was said: "a decades-long affair between a man and the wife of his best friend..."...Where was the best friend? The best friend of this man must be the devil himself...But a read some more lines until I read: 2nd - "Brian was the only man she ever loved (the only man she ever could love)..." She never loved him, or respected him to cheat for at least 16 years...It was at this point that I stopped and give it 1*, and hope this sad story about two persons with no moral, with no love for their families (Why did they had children? Why didn't they stayed single?) would end here...

Both of them are disgusting.

Her kids are her lovers and hubby will be ok when he finds out and eat the cum out of his wife.

I believe at some point they'll get caught, two families destroyed over some extra sexual activity. It's puzzilling that neither could stop after such a long run and the consequences to follow. And the law is stacked against Brian , lose of cheating wife, lose of home till the kids turn 18. Child support and alimony . That is what is so screwed up in our court system. Then he has to deal with visitation issues. Since she is good with the kids his chance at custody is zero. What a curve ball life can throw at you and destroy you even when you do everything right.

Appreciate your comment, and understand your thoughts. First, I guess I'm just happy at least a few people read it, though I know the majority of comments are going to be about how disgusting Amy and Chris are. For those who think that, the next chapters are probably not going to change your mind (not a shock I'm sure), though I am trying to do my best to provide context for their behavior. Will I succeed, who knows (probably not for most), but I figured I would give it a shot.

There is a balance in writing these stories, as I am finding out. I am interested in writing a more true to life scenario as to how something like this could play out...the stories of guys with 12 inch dicks who cum for 5 minutes at a time are great (I read many of them and enjoy them), but they don't really interest me personally as a writer. But maybe those kind of stories are so exaggerated you can lose yourself in them without much thought.

You do have to keep things exciting, after all I'm well aware the book critic at the New York Times will not be reviewing this. In doing so though, I hope not to lose all realism in the characters.

I do have certain fantasies I want to play out here, in the safety behind my computer instead of real life. They won't be for everyone, and maybe they'll take all the realism out of the story. I hope not, and my challenge is preventing my fantasies from taking over too much.

This first chapter I wrote pretty quickly, most of it just popped in my head, but I'm trying to take my time with the others to make sure things make sense. Hope you stay with it, like I said I appreciate all comments, even from those who hate the story and will want Amy and Chris stoned in the town square by Chapter 3. Right now I expect there to be 6 chapters, give or take.

that said this was a true story.

With that in mind, do another chapter, please.

Thanks Don

To write good fiction, you have to make it believable and it's believable. Very believable. They are four educated, mature adults who have their lives going well for them. Would they throw it all away because two of them gave in to their emotions?

I'm sure they can put their egos aside and work something out.

I really respect an author who can start out with such dispicable characters and somehow reinvent them during the story and plot development so they are acceptable human beings.

I find it difficult to see how you can get out of the hole these two people have dug themselves into with the caveat you have initially espoused. (10 years and kids are reasonabily too much disrespect to ignore)

The characters cannot really overcome their initially apparent character weaknesses and flaws unless your intended outcome is drastically altered very soon.

Good luck, But!, you still have a very long way to go from 0 to show any reasonable person how Amy can truthfully say she really loves Brian. You see to many of us it is like Commanding and Leading. Commanding only requires authority and Leading requires respect. That is the kind of character flaw shown by Amy.

The only thing more boring than the interminable introduction was the story. Chapter one implies that there is more? Don't waste your time or the reader's. Just quit now.

Just to clarify, this is not a true story, though most of the background and characters are loosely based on real people. But the events depicted never happened, except in my mind. FWIW, I just submitted part 2, so it'll probably be up in a few days. Based on the comments so far, some like it (or at least are willing to continue reading) and others hate it. No surprises there for me.

I think you have a gem in the rough here. Your lead to a later chapter of these two people coming to terms with their feelings and bringing a new life to the world in order to ... what?

I think it may work but there are many bridges to cross first. Here are a few;

a. describe their first sex after she was married

b. what event brought them back together after she was married

c. how did they know they wanted to fuck in the laundry room and how did they conspire to meet there

d. introduce us to his wife

e. did they meet while she was pregnant and oh so horny

I am sure you get the idea. Jumping into creating a love child is too quick a leap for many readers.

5 stars from me. Write a quick and vicious backseat encounter between them

I think the statement they love their spouses is bullshit, if they don't love each other its even worse, but lots of people have low morals.

Please understand I gave you 1 Star not as a reflection of your writing but as an statement of my feelings on the Wife - Best Friend scenario. She does not love her husband, he is not a friend, everything else is manure.

May I suggest that if you don't like the theme of a story, then don't vote at all.

You say it was good writing. I agree. It was well-written, and surely that should be all that is reflected in your vote ?

I don't read incest stories because I don't like incest. Thus, I don't vote on them. I assume that the people who do vote on incest stories like that kind of thing and vote according to whether it was a good story or not.

If you don't like stories about married people's infidelity, one might ask "Why read them?" And if you didn't read them, you wouldn't vote on them. Those who would vote are those who are interested in stories about adultery and so the voting would only be about whether it was a well-written story or not.

I think we all know the answer to why people who hate Loving Wives stories read them -- these stories hold a perverse fascination for those who claim not to like that kind of behaviour. That's fine. What's not fine is that these people vote like the One Bomber in twistedsickmind's brilliant story. (It's in Humour and Satire.)

These people would read Macbeth and one-bomb it because Lady Macbeth is a bitch and her husband is a wimp.

L

It's scary how close this hits to home! Let me explain. After almost eleven years of marriage my wife began to have the same feelings as Amy did in the beginning. My wife was a virgin when we met and I was her first and only for eleven years before she had the experience of another man with my blessing and encouragement. When it finally happened it was such a wonderful experience for both of us and almost nine years later, my wife is a beautiful 'hotwife' who has my permission to be with whoever she wants and we both couldn't be happier! I hope you continue the story, and never mind the naysayers.

Good story. Delete the last part (Present Day) and rewrite because it is off tempo/theme of the first part.

I was married 20 years and cheated many times on my wife. She was the mother of my children, and I did care for her quite a bit...Love...who knows...sure did like being with her. She was a good lay with a good body, and while she loved sitting on my face she never did even do as much as a good hand job on me. Not even close to oral.

Will not try to psychoanalyze my reasons but will for the record, say that several times she'd be receptive to me for sex the evening after I'd cheated with a lover during the day. My belief is that our sex drives differed quite a lot, and that much of the time I just was too interested in her and (especially in the later years of marriage) my aggression was a turn off for her, but when I had gotten laid that day...she found me more compatible??

Anyway I really never regretted the affairs. I tended to cheat with professional women or women I worked with that I knew well, not one night stands. Married or not, it seemed I could read the signals and rarely ever was rejected when I started dropping strong hints and moving in. Was nice!

when the author celebrates and seems to dignify the murderers, then that's wrong. And in an open public forum it is correct to tell someone that their thinking is wrong. Sure its just your opinion, but that's the whole point of a public forum, to give and receive opinions.

When we read stories about adultery, we might find the sex erotic, the drama of seduction and betrayal exciting, but who can claim the adultery itself is praise worthy, or even to be dignified as "understandable?" Why do you think its called CHEATING? Cheating is wrong. And cheating within a marriage is one of the most cruel and selfish acts imaginable. If you need the reasons enumerated then you are morally bankrupt. We might as well discuss if murder or rape are wrong. That's only an open question to sophists, and also murderers and rapists. So yeah, we should not be surprised that those readers who think adultery is understandable or to be expected are probably themselves guilty.

In this case we have two people who want to have stable loyal spouses, but also want to enjoy sex outside their marriage, despite making vows to keep themselves only for their spouse. The fact that Amy initiated the cheating on her boyfriend, then apparently agreed to marry him, made her vows of loyalty and monogamy, while already knowing that she was cheating and would continue to cheat, makes her worthy of the most severe condemnation. Amy is an immoral, selfish, heartless, self-serving woman, not just some poor misguided sex addict. And the whole story falls apart, and makes the reader want to wretch, when we are told that Amy actually loves her husband and her children. She's just got this itch that needs scratching, on occasion, because the sex is just so good, she can't give it up. And its really not hurting anyone, because they don't know they are being cheated on. Only someone totally ignorant of human nature could believe this plot.

Women like Amy, and men like Chris, are about as hard to discern as someone who has shit their pants. From a distance, maybe you don't smell something, right away. But if you are in a relationship with someone this souless, this morally vapid, you know. God, you know. So the only excuse for Amy and Chris to get away with this is because they have married two of the most stupid clueless people on the planet. No, not trusting or naive, but totally and purposefully blind to reality and human nature. People as heartless and selfish as Amy and Chris do not make good spouses, do not make good parents, do not make good friends. You think Amy and Chris only turn on the evil switch when they are getting ready to fuck? That's not human nature. Amy and Chris are greedy and selfish, and those human characteristics tend to color every aspect of their behavior. How can it not? They are getting away with cheating their spouses, and loving it. Why not cheat their employers, merchants, business associates, other friends? There is no reason why not, and they will. And you will have to be blind not to notice their shifting eyes, the smirks, their smug smiles as they congratulate themselves on how clever and sneaky they are. When Amy and Chris are together with their respective spouses, you would have to be anesthetized not to notice the coy interactions, not to sense the chemistry.

So what makes a story like this so obnoxious is that anyone could find it believable, and worse, enjoyable. The story is ugly, and Amy and Chris are monsters. To write the story indicating otherwise is dishonest.

I will wait for the continuation. What do people vote on; is it the storyline, the characters or the writing? Clearly the stories in LW are going to be about infidelity at some point so don't vote it down on that. The characters could be despicable but that's just part of the story. So when I vote I hope I vote on the writing.

The site gives you a selection of one star - I HATED IT to five stars - LOVED IT _ ONE OF THE BEST, the other stars give a choice of how you FEEL about the story. No where does it reward punctuation, spelling, or sentence structure at some point this went from a story site for erotic writings by amateurs to a book club where it seems that liking or disliking the story is disapproved of. The scoring needs to be changed to reflect the literary club outlook and do away with enjoying the site for the readers who are on this site to enjoy a story.

If the story is in a category described as "extra-marital fun" then there should be an expectation that people are doing something 'naughty' and enjoying it. So readers shouldn't mark a story down because that is what the characters are doing.

On the other hand, if the way they are doing it is poorly described, or if their motivation is not explained, or if the characters are not well developed, then it is a poorly constructed story and not worthy of a high mark.

Unfortunately, not everybody who reads Loving Wives stories agrees with that.

MitchF, I am pleased that at least you follow that principle. I fear that you are in the minority.

L

I see the various comments on what should go into rating stories, and thought I'd chime in. Not looking to get anyone to rank my story any better, if you don't like it so be it.

Personally for me, I do try to rate things based on a combination of my enjoyment of the story and the situations portrayed, as well as the quality of the writing/story. I can read a story with a lot of mistakes in spelling or grammar, or with inconsistencies in plot and details, and still like it if I enjoy the overall story and the situations the characters are put in. Conversely a story can be well written and consistent, but for whatever reason I might not find it interesting. It's a subjective thing for me personally.

If someone hates the story just because they think my characters are despicable, that is their right. In a way, I can understand why you might rate it low. I will feel I failed if I can't get the reader to at least understand why they make certain decisions, even if you ultimately don't condone their actions. Of course, I would prefer you read the entire story and see where I take the characters before you make any final judgements.

But I would say that any story in this category has characters involved in morally gray behavior, or outright awful behavior at times. If you hate all cheating and cheaters, then I'm not really sure why you're reading these stories. I can pretty much guarantee you're going to hate it before you even begin to read it.

And I sympathize. Far too many commenters think '1' is the number right before '5' with nothing in between.

That being said, I worked out my own scaling system: a star for writing. If I constantly get dragged out of the story by horrible writing, grammar, tenses, POV shifts etc, you deserve to lose the star.

Does the story seem real? Not that it is necessarily lacking in supernatural or science fiction elements, but does each point follow from the last.

Two stars for how much I liked the stories. 0, like, love. So a Slirpuff story I really get into (at least his earlier unedited works) can garner at least a two if I liked the story

Pacing really deserves it's own star. Did you write a 2 page story in 5 pages. In which case, shame on you. If, on the other hand, I tool through 18 pages and desperately look for more story, why...your pacing is fine.

I did not read your story but I think we should have some standardization of rating.

That being said: Every story has a villain. If the characters ONLY has negative or morally gray traits, well, you wrote him as an asshole. Why are you complaining if we see him exactly as you write him or her?

@ Author and FD45 80% of the human brains work that methods to read stories or to watch movies that the brain puts the readers or watchers into the plot. If the 80% of the people can not put themselves into such plot where no any positive hero is. The story/movie becomes a negative for them automaticly. That is the main cause the true Literature is for minority people only. In LW the authors should know their 80% of the average readers will not put themselves into negative characters except for the readers are negative people.............

Your good friend dreams on your wife.

Your better friend fucks your wife.

Your best friend kills you to get your wife...........

Became best friends in college 20 years ago and now Brian is helping the kids with homework while never realizing Chris and wife are in the basement screwing, right?

Oh, you forgot to explain that he never noticed any suspicious smells because after screwing they showered in the basement bathroom, or was it the allergies that ruined Brians olfactory senses. Surely neither kid would ever look for mom during homework time. Of course, Brian never once tried to bed his wife on nights Chris had been over.

Yep. Very believable. 1 star.

But could have better explained the motivation for Amy to marry. I imagine getting her rocks off so thoroughly she didn't want to give it up with Chris would give any rational sane person pause about committing to someone like Brian without taking a very long break from that relationship.

I can appreciate a well written story without liking the main characters or condoning thir actions.

At any rate, yo've provided enough interest in me to want to know what happens next so I look fw'd to the next installment. 5*

The part where she slips into the sack with Chris the first time is well done and believable. You could just feel this naughty strumpet's tight little body going to town...oh, yeah :)) But the fact that she seems so well thought out, if a little guilty, is less believable. Chris makes her pussy ache, but she doesn't have the guts to at least slow things down with Brian so the storyline starts to lose credibility.

The problem in credibility is that she is so sure at her tender age that Brian is her guy yet she doesn't understand her own need for sex with Chris. This little tart simply doesn't understand how despicable it is to lead a man down the road of a sham marriage.

I think also that there are a few things where the author went too far. The 16 years is definitely overboard. But what is this of fucking in the basement while hubby is engaged in scholarly contemplation upstairs? That is just not believable; especially in these suburban crackerboxes! It's a detail that could have been easily modified to make the cheating more believable.

Anyway, keep going on this, Laf. But maybe the believability could be dialed back into more reasonable climes.

Sheakspeare is Literature and literature is for those 20% of the poeople whose brains do not place the readers into the plot. The 80% of the people read stories or watch movies with such methods that their brains put them into the stories or movies. They feel togheter the positive characters-actors and they hate the negative characters.

If the reader an average husband he will be with the husband character (if the husband character is not too wimpy or not perverse creapieeating). This 80% reads the amatuer stories as his best friend tells him that the wife of his best friend was a super slut and he will be with his best friend to help him (except for he fucked the wife of his best friend) and this reader push the 1*.

The 20% literature readers (it may be you) have to understand the 80%!

Why we read LW, because the Literotica LW (and the Storiesonline.net) contain BTB stories or good dramaic Consequence stories sometimes I can enjoy good successful reconciliation stories too, but I do not think Literature only a report of a unsuccessful marriage from a good friend=the author.

How the hell did I miss this series? Very intriguing indeed.

By dumb luck I happened on this author.

I have a very few very minor quibbles I'll share with him privately, but based on this first chapter I think we're on to something. The guy got me at the first paragraph.

No none of us are New York Times editorialists, and no you're not Hemingway. Who cares? I'll say this; D.H. Lawrence used to take a whole day writing and rewriting a single sentence. You'll have assholes who'll rant and rave about shit they can't or are afraid to do themselves.

You get my vote. Here's a five!

Now I don't like Amy, and I think Chris is a shit. I just hope Brian doesn't end up some 'happy semen slurping cuckold'. We've got enough of that going around here.

Jedd Clampett

If you wish to read a tedious story of shitbags acting like ever bigger shitbags, and plot puppet WACCs being conveniently railroaded to ignore any possible hurt, this is the drawn-out hump-and-grind for you.

Hard to like a story where there is absolutely no character worth rooting for.... I see nothing but a cheating cunt and best friend asshole that deserve to get their asses whipped.......1****

You are an amazing writer, within a few sentences my heart broke and I felt sick to my stomach.

You use way too many words to get your point across, it only makes it boring, doesn't add to the story at all.

Betrayal & disloyalty at its most evil. Always accompanied by feeble excuses and slimy characters.

We get a story about two people who are betraying a man in the worst possible way, and to add to it we get a lecture from Lue. Just screwed either way.

It's a shame that there are always stories that reflect the ugly part of people. You're telling a story that really just shows the ugly traits of two people. How can you be in a permanent partnership, even with your own children, and then become a cheater? There is nothing to excuse that. For me it is particularly unfortunate that this negative side of your story also influences the rating, because one cannot be separated from the other. There should be an opportunity to rate content and style separately. So it stays at a meager 2*!

The description after the tile was enough to ward me off, Thanks!

Looks like it could be an interesting story. Well written and will give it a chance. 4****