by Goldeniangel
Not bad on the build-up, but the story seemed to end much too quickly. Some of you other stuff has been good, so keep it up.
... you need to expand your story. More details need to be provided, the story was more bare bones than not, you need to flesh out your stories more. Keep writing.
It's length was fine - the interaction plausible and sensual without debating the cause.
So one of your better works especially since there was no need to embellish for effect (Married, children, black, etc., etc) - everyone got what they wanted and no one was hurt or offended).
I like that he didn't instantly think that he was going to take her but it was too short.