All Comments on 'Open Relationship Gone Awry Ch. 02'

so is that it ,or is there more to come. Well written. just don't know if it's for me. See what happens next. Look forward to future postings

or Gay Male? Most of the readers of this category are going to flame this submission, might get better feedback in Fetish.

It's over. Really the only conclusion possible given the set up of the first part.<P>

Actually, it was quite beneficial that he stayed. The pain and humiliation that he suffers at the hands of both Michael and Katie will ensure that he never makes this mistake again with a future partner. Also I imagine that the mental images that he will now carry forever will pretty much burn out the feelings that he had for his now ex fiancee. Is he disturbed by the fact she had no problems with drugging him without his knowing?<P>

Time to separate his life from hers and console himself with those English department undergrads he mentioned in the first part. I have to guess that his ego will take some rebuilding.<P>

I would be fascinated to find out what becomes of Katie. Now that she has gotten what she wanted what will be the cost? Obviously David and marriage are now no longer in the picture.<P>

She makes the statement to David: "After tonight we can go back. It can be the way it was if that's what you want. It will be the same as before." Is she fooling herself? Is she trying to fool David? Does she understand that she just torched the relationship? Does she even care anymore? Given that Michael is a player does she understand she has traded a long term relationship for a very short term one? Are more 'Michaels' in her future?<P>

A lot of future material to work with, on both sides.<P>

Thanks for sharing.

1) Did the author use an editor? "My slid into her in one smooth stroke and . . . " What actually slid into her? If it was his hand, no wonder he couldn't reach a climax. There were other errors as well. No one expects Stephen King writing quality but simple problems like incomplete sentences disrupt the story for the reader.

2) If it's necessary to drug everyone up with Ecstasy, in order for them to be comfortable with the experience (i.e., Michael and Katie humiliating David, Katie getting the most powerful orgasms and probably getting impregnated with Michael's sperm, since he was bareback), then it is clear that for David, at least, this is really non-consent/reluctance, not to mention they illegally drugged him. Or maybe this should be fetish, or he's a sub and Mike's a dom, so we have BDSM (even though David is not physically tied up, at least not yet).

Katie is not David's wife, and she is not loving him despite her hollow claims, so again, this is the wrong category. There was a hint of David being turned on by the taste of Michael's cock in Katie's mouth -- maybe forced gay is the implication. I guess the title indicates that the event is not what David envisioned. It's clearly not a real MFM "threesome," and it's not an "open" relationship (or David would be out swinging with someone else).

It's obvious that Katie has been stolen by Michael. What purpose would there be for Katie and David to marry after this? How can David function in the competitive world of physics research if he now has no confidence in himself? I think he needs therapy. Oh, and if there were any divine justice, Michael deserves castration. I don't see any way to redeem this story -- none of the characters are sympathetic.

WACC (Wuss Ass Castrated Cuckold) Stories are best in the Fetish section with the rest of "those" types of writers. Your going to get burned at the stake here for this story and rightfully so

Welcome to the sicko authors club. If you think this is a loving wife, you (and the rest of your kin) better get treatment fast. Sick story, sick you. Too bad no "zero" stars.

Michael has won Katie from David and now that she has had that monster she will continue to want it. Michael love that fact that he has stolen Katie from David and gloats with that knowledge. Katie will forever be Michaels now. I think that David should be happy that now that he found out that Katie wanted a open relationship and acted on it. I don't think that he can ever trust her if they do get married and if did get married she would always be looking for that bigger guy now that she has experienced Michael. Be interesting to see where this goes and how David plays it out. I'm sure will know that Michael will continue to pound the you know what out of Katie. Nice story and well written.

Finally he ends the direct confrontation and humiliation by both of them. Now, being into Physics, and given the fact that they saw no harm in drugging him without his knowledge, why not having David, on the quiet, administer some chemical drug that castrates Michael and then leave his shameless fiancée.

If the author can't take criticism about the contents of the story, he shouldn't write on this site. Comments as to punctuation or style are useful but dull. I think, from a writer's point of view, readers pointing to inconsistencies or character flaws are more interesting. The same goes for personal opinions or suggestions, liked or not. However, I'm glad to see that many readers do not approve of this kind of stories. Unfortunately, there are more and more of these on Lit. A shame really because there's no real "plot" in this kind of stories. Please don't take the easy way out and try to develop something substantial.

Vulcan: thanks for the feedback. I clearly did a poor job of proofreading this second bit. I know exactly when that specific error was introduced and I'll be more careful with edits during proofreading in the future.

Regarding categorization, which covers the lion's share of complaints, I'm a little stumped. They're engaged and I intended to convey that they do, in fact, love each other. Whether either of those states change after a cascade of well intentioned mistakes is an open question for the story rather than a reason to recategorize it.

So I guess my question is this: is there some hidden assumption that stories in the "Loving wives" category only occur after the "man and wife" and that things work out well?

The fact is that people lie to themselves and to their significant others about who they are and what they want. They make bad decisions. They have conflicting motivations and their decisions are not always clear cut and straightforward. Obviously I'm not Somerset Maugham and so I'll need to pay closer attention to communicating the character's internal states without resorting to hitting the reader over the head with a frying pan.

First if micheal is really so great why does she need a full hit of ecstasy with him? Funk she could fuck a banana and have amazing sex.

David should have some nice revenge upon both of them. She betrayed him she drugged him she is giving everything to the asshole and so some fucked upreason she also needs to humiliate David?

I get that he agreed to let her have another guy, but why is she humiliating him? He hasnt shown that he is one of the mentally ill cuckold assholes, so why is she treating him like one?

At this point the author need to either have David kick her out and then get some great revenge upon both of them. I am thinking castrating mchael and giving the left overs to the bitch as a going away gift.

Or the author can put out a pilevof shit story where David is forced into being a pile of shit cuck. Which seems to be where this crap is going. Literotica seems to be filled with self hating gay men who love to write this type of pathetic loser being abused by bitches with the loser never fighting back.

So author are you giving David a pair or are you yet another wimp who won't let him ever have a pair?

She wasn't showing any love toward her fiancee but to lover-boy. I'm glad he left though...it shows a modicum of self-respect.

But there is no drug which heightens sumbmissivness or dominance.

Being the curious type I skimmed this chapter. I'm sorry I did so. Having a partner like Katie must be like owning a snake as a pet. You never know when it will turn on you and poison you. In most stories there are characters you should be able to like or at least have some kind of empathy for. In your story there is not one character that I would like to know or meet or care about. Katie deserves everything she gets from her new lover and I hope he gets her hooked on drugs and turns her into the bitch/whore she wants to be and David needs to grow a set of balls. The lover needs to die a slow and painful death.

Author - your comments suggest you already know where this submission's failings are but really, this is a "fetish story". Incomplete character profiles will always confuse the readers [intentional or not]. Although, this was a tad bit better than Azpiri screwed up submission, it still is deficient in any plausible situation and ranks down there with garbage from "wantswhiteboys & bonnietaylor".

Your alpha male lead is a difficult person to appreciate, and I just wonder how many women really swoon over a big dick to the point that they will put up with asshole behavior from a guy, but your story seems to have some excitement. Is boyfriend walking out the door the end? It could be, or there may be some further twists.

this pure crap: even 1 star is too much.

Ne need for more

Well I liked it anyway! Nice mental picture being painted of the slut impaled on that huge cock, Mmmm, nice!!

Thats what they both deserve. A beautiful and stiff ten and a half inch blade. Can this man be redeemed? Unknown. I know that most normal men would really have a problem if their woman sucker kissed them with a dirty mouth. That would be the point that they would forget what they had been taught about hitting women. It is hard to make that generalization with the drugs and the husbands attitude at that point though. He needs to find at least one of his balls so he can move on and have some kind of a life. It seems his wife has.

another author who knows nothing about human nature, hasn't had sex in years, and it shows. None of the behavoir in this story comes across as anything other than coming from the pathetic mind of a sad loser who should just go out and suck a dick. Your attempt here was lazy and just silly... you started the entire story off making sure your reader KNEW beyond and doubt that this was not the guys thing, not his idea, not his plan, then he immediately becomes a loser and a wimp, so your reader loses ALL interest in your story since you did such a piss poor job creating the people in it... the woman is suppose to be something hot and attractive... something your reader would want... you describe her that way then you throw it all out the window when you make her behave like a dog in heat, with no taste, no self respect, no respect for her mate... she became a complete 0 in one page... once again LAZY FUCKING ATTEMPT, an insult to not only your readers, but yourself. Don't post again.

He is better off with out the slut. Thankfully he wasn't married to her yet.

She probably won't be able to keep her 10 and 1/2 inch mate very long. He seems to be in love with himself too much to care for any one else.

Perhaps her large cock lover is gay and only fucks women to keep up the farce of him being straight.

Wouldn't that be a kick in the ass for her.

Don't listen to the other comments, they obviously don't appreciate these kind of stories. I think you did a wonderful job being descriptive and I hope you make a chapter 3!

This story was absolutely hot. I love voyeur stories with the husband/boyfriend. It's not for everyone obviously so don't take some of the negative reviews here that seriously. I too hope you make another chapter.

I hate the hardcore cuckold stories with wimpy husbands....the ones that dress up and wear cages. I love that you have this being more of a open marriage/voyeur story. I gave this story 5 stars so please do another chapter and maybe have it be longer. Good job :)

keep going, you have the genre down!

this is already one of the best stories on literotica and hope you continue it

how so many readers get a hard on when reading opinions that differ from theirs. What's the matter, never heard of freedom of speech. Jeez, people get a life.

I enjoyed this. I think some of these people are taking this too seriously and personally. They have their own issues to work through.

It is a work of fiction and true authors write their characters as they come. If they just happen to be a prick, wimp, badass or sophisticate or what-have-you then so be it. There are real people that react like this, like it or not, right or not. The author just happens to be telling the story of this particular individual whether you like the characters reactions or not. And if you can't take the content, move on and keep hateful comments to yourself.

As to you, author, though Katie is not a wife, I like the irony that this story is in the Loving Wives section. I also appreciate that you kept the protagonist intrigued yet distant, compliant yet offended and at the end he realizes he has no place there anymore. The smut was hot and David naive. Hopefully he would have learned from this and if not, well, the fact is that not everyone is lucky/smart enough to learn from their mistakes.

L.X.

Ok, I'll read the next chapter... Hopefully Dave grows a pair, brings home a hot chick to fuck, someone hotter than Katie, she walks in and explodes... She gets to feel all the pain and humiliation he felt. He tells Katie he doesn't love her, she's just another meat hole to him now, and he won't leave her but he'll fuck any woman he wants to... Open is a two way street.

Okay now it's Dave's turn.

So he's OK with his soon ex slipping him drugs and then listening to the bull. What a load.

Snuff said!

When a Beta male marries, thats the cue for an Alpha male to step in and provide real cock and sperm to the woman.

Pretty dumb. David did the correct thing (leave). No love for him or Katie wouldn’t want him to be humiliated. And she knows that he wouldn’t like the scene which is why she drugged him.

Thank god that you died of AIDS before u got more disgusting on LW!