All Comments on 'Sarah's Indiscretion Ch. 01'

Shit on your storie you filthy whore...just go and hide into your mothers grave you slut

If you don't like stories like this full of love, lust and unbridled sex, go to Disney.com - you're in the wrong area.

I'm off to disney. But first, let me leave you a big fat ZERO!

I am not sure where these people are coming from that are leaving 0 votes and nasty comments on here, but I thought it was really good!

You need to go back to school and learn how to write in the past tense, as well as get a little more erotic!

You cannot in one sentence say "she straddles him" and in the next say "she lowered her hips". You cannot go from "she is soaking wet" to "she closed her eyes"

Just sent you a private comment. Publically, the story was excellent despite a couple of grammatical errors in tense. Any one who left a "0" must have been looking at his own mirror reflection. Those comments were unwarranted and ill-spirited. Keep on writing. Guy in New England.

What a great story by a good friend. The comment by "In the Moon" you are apparently either drunk, crazy or both. I am confused as to how you got into the moon or maybe you meant "On the Moon" which is certainly the right place for you.

To the individual from Romania, which I doubt, since the Romanian people are very courteous and he is not I suggest you return to whichever egg from which you were hatched and began with simple reading assignments such as Dick and Jane. If you are Romanian try Bram Stoker. Dobre Vecer, JuLee

Most people come to this site to read EROTIC FICTION. Most authors, myself included, provide that outlet. We understand constructive criticism, we understand if you just don't like what we write, but what gives any one of you the right to judge an author as a person by what they decide to write? Get off your moral high horses and take a pill! If you don't like stories like this, don't bother to read them and for goodness sake, don't hide behind an "anonymous" comment. Be adult enough to admit who you are. Maybe I'd like to see what you've written and possibly learn something from you! I don't much care if you decide my stories are not for you - I write them as a form of expression - but to those of you who have responded kindly, I thank you! You are the other reason I keep writing, without your support, it wouldn't mean so much.

I thought this was a nice erotic story, except that it doesn't read like a complete story. It doesn't seem to have a beginning and an end. It reads more like a chapter 01 of a story, but in 3 months , I don't see any sign of a later chapter . Am I mssing something?

the CT. Yankee

No, you didn't miss anything, I got busy with LIFE and have only recently come back to working on chapter 2. I am hoping to submit it in a week or two.

First, and without confusing it with my particular view on the details of this story, I want to offer my full support to this author as well as to any other author who is being criticized – even if nicely (which was not the case here) on choosing one kind of theme for her story and not some other kind of theme. This is utter nonsense!

The people who do that do not have the first clue on how to read literature (AKA fiction, or more simply just stories). Who was the teacher who taught you that good story means a story about good nice and well behaved people? Where did you learn that if a “bad person” in a story is not punished in the story, it means that this is a bad story and/ or the author has no talent and/ or also is a bad person him/herself?

In comparison, you make the dark Middle Ages seem like a shining period of enlighntment.

Please note that the narrator in the story is not automatically equal – not in values, not in any other aspect, to the person who we don’t know almost any thing about, who is the author (except for the few advertised biographical details). There COULD be some overlap but we just don’t know IF there is any and in What areas. 2. You can not read what the narrator says (either if it’s in the voice of one of the characters or if the narrator voice is distinct and is talking about the characters in third person) as if there is identification with the values or thoughts of the characters. Many times the narrator could be reporting to us about a character which may be very flawed in a neutral voice, living to us the job of the judging. Other narrators like to only hint about their attitude by using special language which gives us a clue about their views about each character. For example, in modern fiction, Irony is frequently an attitude that narrators express towards flawed characters. It takes years of practice to learn how to read and understand literature. There is no shame in not knowing. No one was born with all the knowledge. We are all ignorant compare to some other people who are more knowledgeable than us. Just don’t advertise and use your ignorance as a weapon against other people. It’s no ones fault, including not this author’s, that you don’t know yet how to read fiction. Hopefully, it’s a temporary stage.

When I noticed your last (to date) response to another reader, in which you mentioned how busy you were, I did believe you. What I am trying to say is that even in the first chapter, I felt as if you were rushing and cutting corners, but for me as a result, the story lost a lot of potential impact. Other than the physical erotic scene, we know virtually nothing about the wife the husband and the lover. We do have the summaries which you offer us, but these are generalities which need to be filled in order to create a sense that these are real characters. Here is one example: “Sure, she had fantasies and dreams, but nothing compared to how she was feeling at that very moment”. What were her fantasies and dreams? And how is it that what she was feeling at the moment was so much better or different? In a similar way, we know that the wife was falling in love with all the good qualities of the lover but to the reader he remains a total stranger. Everything is either just hinted or summarized. In essence, the equally erotic counter part to the physical erotic descriptions; namely, the internal life; emotions and thoughts – all that remains undisclosed. I am convinced that if you slowed down and paid attention to all aspects of the scenes you create, you have both the sensitivity and the language to reach much further. Take for example the description of the budding relations with the online guy. While still summarized, the language hints to greater possibilities: “He was honest and sincere and soon had her heart on a string” – double irony; the first vis-à-vis the husband of this wife (how sincere and honest can he really be); the second, more implicit, the image of the emotional connection the wife created, or better yet - the ties by which she was bound to the guy, is reminiscent of a puppet, tied to a string and manipulated by the puppeteer. If you are capable of such observations in one sentence, it’s just fair that we should expect more from you.

It was a good start, but I feel that if she was going to start a relationship with another man, why not get divorced from her husband first. This isn't some random fling, it's about falling in love with someone else...at least on her part. Looking forward to the rest of the chapters.

Sara has no respect for Ryan he might have no interest in the sexual preferences that sara is interested in If she had any respect of love in her for him she should have sat down with Ryan and talked together and made some suggestions like a sex therapist or a marriage therapist to find something that might have in common not so she can or would throw away a good marriage if not Ryan should file a law suit against Dan and her for breaking up there marriage that they had on the grounds of infidelity and adultry.

Cheating is cheating and a slut is still a slut. I hope she gets what she deserve a kick in the ass by Ryan.

She ends the marriage to ryan and dan is her new guy, ryan, no longer. Probably not, she cheats and the dishonersty from her continues.

Would all LIT submitters stop Defending and so justifying morons comments or screwed moral puritans shit; that dismisses the core of their craft. THEY have come to an erotic writers site and read. Both live in noddy land, even Walt D is too close to real life for them. As for the guys who apply sex double standards hopefully one day we will find a Genetic cure for their like. Now too violent, unbelieveable, out of pace, inhumanly stretched would be a start but, if negative is all you can be, your teachers let the world down by not stressing it's Best you keep your mouth, and fingers, shut. Say how you would have made it more sexual and lustful and loving true. Be true to the purpose of each story's creator. Some of the guys that write here, and a few women, I believe, need medical help. I am not sure the world is ready to help them. A lot are damaged by or in life response to, the very people who apply their twisted moral shit here. Some are just damaged. They all feel needs. If writing gets it off their chest, fine. Lit categories let you choose Your read. It would be nice if we could list a health service or insurance supported agencies that would address their issues, and needs. I suspect such would need to involve legit prof sex services that guard them from inflicting their pain on Anybody else, including Service Providers. Pleasure and pain, for some, have a fine mutual overlap. That Cannot be forced. Under any circumstances. I would like to see such as a statutory health warning where appropriate. I no longer myself read my own sexes subs. Back to this story. It is so close to real life episodes all but the 'blind' are, jealously, aware happens. To criticise english in a creation that lustfully gets carried away is at Best self defeating. The jist is the only goal. It's true that K usually gallops thru. She needs specific hints to slow down like, catch the multi pleasure of entry, and the different feelings and thoughts on different strokes. (Interestingly enough there is not one story on site where a woman plans tomorrow's lunch while the guy pleasures himself . . Reality touch too much) This may be a subtle reflect back on men. I also doubt any have paid a penny to the site or writers to rule any contractual standard. To help kili As above suggest work on english presentation, but be specific and allow for the fact that the author either cannot or does not want to go there. I have multiple english quals. I have not checked this, there will be errors. It's the message that is important. The only thing that counts in actual fact. Grow up and be adult in critical approach. Get off your cloud and realise this site is centred on sex titilation and sadly, if you think about it, the need for self masturbation, pleasure satisfaction and happiness, in a too sad world. When was the last time You had sex outwith a life partner. If you really are into joy on earth it's not in a 'church' of any kind you need to put your hands together... Ps Always carry a Box of condoms.

and reasons not with standing trouble brews. TK U MLJ LV NV

Even a fantasy one is erotic. She should ask for a 50/50 divorce, tell the husband she no longer loves him and wants to screw the worlds male population until she finds a compatible cock or STD, which ever comes first. You have a better chance of being erotic if you read Walt Disney!

.....there's nothing here.......

OK… then what? Jesus, why don’t you lazy authors FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY???

So, no story just sex