Sheep Among Wolves

"I-" Anne bolted up, pushing the chair back. "You don't know anything about me! What I've been through. I'm not throwing all of that away for your- degeneracy!" Fists clenched, Anne marched off, away from all of the madness. Anne couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Outrageous.

She really needed to stop doing this.

Once again, Anne went home to cool off, only to realise how much worse she'd made things in her passion. Damnit, May. Why did you have to be-

No. None of this was May's fault. May and her incredible people skills. Her easy, friendly nature. Her ever-changing, soft eyes you could safely confide anything to. Her long, bulky, veiny-

There Anne went again. Why couldn't she stop herself? Sex, sex, sex. She could distract herself well enough outside of work, but her down time got harder and harder every day. Now it looked like even her job wasn't safe any more. It would be easy to say May was the powder keg that blasted everything apart, but in truth she was simply the spark. The idea of sex would drag Anne in, closer and closer. Only for her to realise at the last second and slap herself away. Even the thought of self-pleasure came with paralyzing anxiety. Why, though?

It wasn't really a matter of figuring out, but dredging herself out of the deep pit of denial Anne dug for herself. All those years being told that sex was at best, a means to an end. That pleasure was the sure path to a life of debauchery and misery, or so it went. Find a steady man and start a family. That was the plan.

Only, Anne already derailed the plan carefully laid out for her. Her parents weren't too pleased when she wanted to go to university. They made her pay her own way, to 'teach her a lesson'. The mystifying part was their even greater indignance when Anne used her programming degree to find a job to pay down the tuition fees. That meant a move to one of the big cities, which was an automatic no-no. When Anne chose to defy them, there was only one response.

"Come back when you've finally seen sense."

That was just over a month ago. No contact since then. No calls, no emails, no letters, no nothing. They even deflected any attempt Anne made to get in touch. When her third call attempt was cut off early, Anne realised they were doing it on purpose. Short of her going back, they wanted those words before she left to be the last ones.

They weren't interested in reconciling, or even seeing how she was doing. They were interested in nothing short of total capitulation from her. Anne wouldn't, though. Not to them, anyway.

Recent trouble aside, this new life was shaping up to be everything she ever wanted. Decent home, good job, great friends. Friends she was hoping not to lose. All of it happened because Anne chose to defy the expectations placed on her. Her family was probably back home, still expecting her ambitions to go the way of the Prodigal Son. Anne hoped she could meet them halfway; have a family like they wanted, and maybe she could at least garner some modicum of acceptance.

Only none of the guys she met so far seemed like the upstanding gentleman that would measure up to her parent's standards. If Tommy from high school wasn't up to snuff, then they wouldn't be either. Maybe Anne and her parents wanted different things. Those men that sneered at their superior? Maybe that was the kind of thing they were after. The thought made her blood boil.

Maybe there was something Anne was missing. If she could just talk to her parents, maybe they could explain how their way was better in some more concrete terms, instead of some wavy, abstract 'greater good' platitudes. They already made it clear they would only talk on condition of her surrender. By that point, they could simply assert their authority like they always had and be done with it. They certainly would never allow her to associate with someone like May if they knew the truth.

'May is Sinful. You must shun her and stay on the righteous path."

Anne leapt off her bed. No. No she wouldn't. Any further attempts at appeasement would only result in the expectation of further demands being mindlessly obeyed. She would find people who loved her, not what they thought they could make her into.

Speaking of which, Anne needed to make a call. Voicemail. Of course. Shouldn't have been a surprise, given how things went a second time.

"Hey. I've been thinking about things, and I'm really, really sorry. Again. Okay?" End call. Nothing but time now. Time to enjoy some of her newfound freedom, perhaps. Try some new things she never thought she could before. Anne stripped herself bare again. No more hopeless longing in the mirror. She lay back on her double bed, starting to explore her own soft skin.

Lying on her back, getting used to the feel of the bed, Anne spread her legs just a touch, and started to caress her body. Each touch, each glide of her fingers across her thighs, or up the curves of her chest brought her skin alive, and the rest of her body with it. There was a brief stop, a recoiling of her hands. The anxiety she'd long associated these acts with would not simply vanish over an afternoon of private reflection. Anne would simply need to power through. It would get easier the more she did it.

There was no more family to reprimand her. Their rage was impotent now. Anne could focus on that. This was long overdue catharsis. The simple touch of her sensitive skin was no longer enough. Now was time for a little pressure. She cupped her hands around each of her breasts. They were more than each hand could reach all the way around, so Anne circled each one with her fingers and palms. Finding a place to close in. What was the best place? Would it hurt too much? How far could she get-

No. No more agonising. This was about finding out. A little bit at a time. With one last second of trepidation, Anne tightened each hand. More and more. Each squeeze brought more pain. More pleasure. Pure simulation. The desires to stop and push even further warred within her. Were all women like this? Maybe she should look it up.

Ah! Either she'd pushed too far, or for too long. The pain was too much, and now she retreated to the soothing, caressing motions. Looked like there was too much of a good thing. Anne started to catch her breath, figuring out what she wanted to do next. As if to tell her, a breeze blew in from the open window. The flow of air was mosting refreshing, except for her crotch where there was a deep chill. She'd already started to soak herself. Before, this was a clear sign to stop.

Now, things were just getting started.

Her hand creeped down her stomach. Onto her bush of red hair. Oh, fu- If her breasts felt good, this was honey to her malnourished soul. Losing herself to the intoxication was a risk she was more than happy to take. Anne flicked her fingers. Wiggling herself inside. Every movement of a sensual shockwave now.

Anne's eyes slipped closed. Riveting as her plain white ceiling was, she could do much better. With no experience of even entertaining material to draw off, her mind was filling with, what else- May. Not the real May she knew and loved. At least, until today. This one was just a touch more aggressive, not the least bit secretive or ashamed of her secret weapon. Most of all, she was completely naked, at least to the best of Anne's imagination.

Her own state was altered at least as much as May's. While her real hands were plying chest and soaked insides, her mind depicted herself as unable to move. Completely helpless. All the onus of her escalating stimulation was placed on this imaginary May; looming over Anne from between her legs. Squeezing Anne's breast with her hand, while making Anne 'squeeze' her tool between her legs. Sticking herself insider. Deeper and deeper. Faster and faster. No regard for the comfort, or lack thereof. Any thought of what might come out was also lacking from this projection.

You love this, don't you? Being forced under me. Serving me every whim. You're going to take my whole cock like a good little whore.

That sounded like nothing May would ever say. Being called a whore was also a bit more than Anne was ready for, even if she'd done it herself. These thoughts drifted on the edge of her mind as the hypothetical thrusting Anne was getting intensified. Everything ramped up, out of control. The speed. The pitch and volume of Anne's ecstatic moans. The twitching in every corner of her body; mostly her legs. Just a little more. Then, Anne would finally-

"GAH!" Anne jumped from her reverie as the phone rang. May. Of course. As though she somehow knew about Anne's sordid fun from across the city. Well, she wasn't exactly as friendly as May deserved the last time they spoke. Fair was fair. Anne accepted the call.

"Hey there!" Anne put up a chipper front. Hiding her activities from seconds ago.

"I got your call, Anne. Hey, are you okay? You sound out of breath."

"Uh, yeah." Ew, she got the phone all wet. "Just been out for a run. Trying to clear my head."

"Yeah, how's that going? You said you were sorry. Again."

Anne nodded, as though May were actually there. "Yeah. I thought about what you said, and you were right. About everything. And I was really rude to you."

There was a sigh on the other end. "Oh, all's well that ends well. If you really mean it, we're good again. Though I have to say, that was awfully quick."

"I know, I know. I guess- I always knew the life planned out for me wouldn't make me feel happy, or fulfilled. I just assumed it would all be worth it in some way I just didn't understand. I'm not going to wait for some vague notion of a meaningful life promised by other people any more. Not if it means forsaking the life I've built for myself. Forsaking you."

"Annie-" There was a few seconds where only May's gentle breathing could be heard. "That means a lot to me. For a while, I thought you might change your mind and blow my cover after all."

"May, I gave you my word." Anne sat up, her pleasure session all but forgotten. "Still, I would like to make it up to you in some way."

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing. About my secret, that is. Would you like to- I don't know- maybe come over to my place?"

May's place? Really? That was about the last place Anne wanted to be right now. The eye of her personal, emotional storm. Everything Anne imagined up needed to stay under wraps; she doubted that would be possible in her current state, even if she didn't say a word. Declining on the other hand would come across as rude. Maybe she could steer May's mind away from the idea.

"Are you sure? Haven't I taken up enough of your time already? Caused you enough trouble?" Anne asked.

"Well, that's why I'd prefer to resolve this once and for all. Face to face." Wasn't Anne's apology good enough? Damnit. "To be honest, I'd prefer not to go out again today. Please, Annie. I understand if you're too busy and this has to wait-"

"Alright, alright. I'll do it." Well, she folded quickly. It wasn't as though her 'running' painted Anne as having a particularly busy schedule. "It's not too far, is it?"

"Oh, thank you, Annie. It's a bit of a ways from work, but it's not too far from the nearest station. I'll text you the details. And- if it's not too much trouble, do you think you can come as soon as you can? Thanks!"

"But I-" the call already ended. Why did May have to back her into a corner like this? This- wasn't like her. Half a minute later, the address was sent over to her, followed by one more message.

'You won't regret it'.

That remained to be seen.

From the information Anne looked up, she wouldn't make it to May's place until the early evening, assuming an optimal journey. There were a couple of stops Anne wanted to make along the way, plus the chance she would get lost in a number of ways in transit. With her desires only further stoked and only a vague idea of what to expect, Anne got herself dressed.

The only thing she possessed that felt appropriate was a flowing white dress that hadn't seen any action since her move to the city. Along with some white heeled shoes and her standard work hair, it would just about do. Was this a date? No. No no no. Just a talk. With a friend. A very dear friend. Who happened to make Anne hotter than the summer already was.

With a refresh of some basic makeup and her handbag, Anne was done stalling. Go time. As luck would have it, her side stop was near the station she usually embarked on: a row of shops, carrying the essentials she would need, and a few more things. Things she'd never even thought of buying before.

The underground metro was fast, usually clean, and a little but cooler than the sun-baked surface. The only drawback was the lack of signal underground, which would start to grate for a journey this long. Not to mention any possible updates from May would have to wait. Now, thoughts of May started to fill Anne with anxiety and uncertainty.

The sudden, short notice of this whole thing did not help matters much. Yet Anne acquiesced the moment the pressure started to mount. The simple truth was she wanted to see May again outside of work. An invitation to her home felt like more than a matter of a decisive resolution to their argument, or a matter of convenience. The possibility that May could be just a little bit interested taunted Anne's mind.

No. It was almost certain that she would get a decisive no for any number of reasons. That would be the end of it.

The train Anne was riding emergence above ground, just a couple of stops before she would get off. No signs of further contact on her phone. The clock had just gone five. The train doors came open, and Anne walked off. She was solidly in suburbia now. According to the map, she would need to go off the main street onto one of the quiet, side streets to find the place. About ten minute's walk. Two main thoughts drove Anne forward for the walk: the desire to escape from the burning sun, and the need to get these burning questions over and done with.

According to the map, this was the place. The house was- huge, especially compared to expectations. The house stood detached, at least three stories above the ground, with a reasonably large front garden. The house was covered in white panels with sloped red roofing. Large, clean windows adorned many of the walls but they were mostly raised and left little to see through. Was this the right place? The number matched: 373. It was worth a try. Anne walked up to the outdoor porch.

Ding-dong. This could still be the wrong place. Maybe May typed it wrong. This could be a prank of some sort, pretending she lived in such a big, fancy house. A way to test it-

Click.

"Annie, you made it!" Or not. May stood inside the house, wearing a more smart-casual white skirt with a deep blue skirt and tights.

"Yeah. Here I am. Here, I brought this for you." Anne pulled a bottle of prosecco from behind her back, which lit up May's eyes.

"Aww, you shouldn't have." May accepted the gift, and gestured Anne to enter. "You look lovely, by the way."

"Oh, thank you." Anne walked into the main hall. There was a set of wooden stairs heading upwards to the right, a door to what looked to be a living room on the left, and more doors down the corridor. Besides a large coat rack, there was little to the hall itself beyond pristine white walls. "You really live here? Looks- expensive."

May laughed. "Ahah, you noticed, huh? Well to be honest, I had more than a little help from my three housemates. They're happy to have me as long as I do my part around the house."

"Oh, that must be nice." Anne walked over to the stairs, though the upstairs landing was around a corner. "Are they around?"

"They're busy right now. Don't worry, they won't bother us without my permission. Unless we're really loud." That last part flustered Anne a little. "Come on in. Take a seat, I'll be right with you."

Anne entered the living room, leaving May to walk off with the bottle. The living room appeared to be two rooms with a wall that was knocked through. The result was a lounging area with a cream three piece suite next to the windows, and an entertainment area with books, a wall-mounted TV and a small table to dine on. The walls in here were light grey with a floral pattern wallpaper. Anne sat on the sofa, away from the sunlight still beaming into the house. It was about another minute before May returned, carrying a couple of wine glasses.

"It's a little early, but since you were kind enough to bring this-" May handed over the glass, prompting Anne to take a cursory sip. Any taking the edge off was more than welcome. About a third into the glass, Anne set it down on the brown table in front of her.

"So what did you want to discuss here?" Anne asked. If she prevaricated at all there was a growing chance she would blurt out her true feelings.

"Annie." May set her own glass down, about half-full. "I want you to look me in the eyes, and promise me you'll keep my secret safe. No matter what."

"I already told you I would," The tension released slightly by the drink was already cranking up. "Is it really that bad, May?"

"Maybe it's not as bad as it used to be, but there a lot of people out there who will look for any stupid reason to look down on you. Even if it's completely out of your control." May stared more intently into Anne's eyes. "You weren't supposed to find out; at least not this soon. I know you said you would keep it a secret, but then we kind of fell out again. Promise me: no matter what, no matter how much you might ever hate me; you'll never let my secret out."

"I-" Anne looked away. "I don't know, May. I can't imagine ever truly hating you. And I can't see myself ever doing something so horribly spiteful. Not after everything you've done for me. I don't feel right saying something with such certainty, but at the same time I can't imagine a situation where doing something like that would ever feel right. Does- that make any sense?"

May seemed to ponder, looking outside. "Yeah, I think so. Instead of some oath I made you promise, you want me to trust that you would never want to hurt me on principle. You really can't swear it?"

"May, I swore I would never have sex until I was married." Anne pried the pledge ring off her finger and threw it out the window. "A promise isn't nearly as important as the reasons you make it."

"I see." May got up to sit next to Anne. "I know I'm asking a lot, and this is starting to sound weird. It's just- the last time someone found out without me meaning to, it caused me no end of misery. When you started telling me about your upbringing; what you believed in- I felt so sure it was about to happen again."

Anne put a hand on May's shoulder. "I know it can be hard to believe, but I'm not like that now. But talk is cheap, May. The only thing that can put your mind at ease is time, I guess."

"You're right. I'm sorry, Annie. I want to trust you, really. You're a good leader and I know you haven't given me any reason not to trust you-"

"Really?" Anne looked down. "Most of the time, it just feels like I point the team in the right direction, then I'm riding on your coattails."

With a single gulp, May finished her glass. "Even if that were true, you're still giving it your all and our project is running so smoothly under your lead. I- the others assure me that you're doing a fine job. And you'll get even better."

"Thanks." Anne joined May in finishing off her drink. "Is- there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, now that you mention it- oh, why don't I refresh our drinks first?" May collected the glasses and disappeared for another minute or so. This time, the glasses had just a bit less than before. May returned to her original spot opposite Anne. "So is it true? You're giving up your pledge?"