All Comments on 'The Land of MILF and Honey Ch. 03'

You got confused with names a few times eg Tommy became Robby, also a few grammatical errors eg instead your you used you're, which is the shortened version of you are. Apart from the errors it was a good story, looking forward to the next chapter.

You could get an editor to iron out any mistakes.

Having read these first three chapters (and assuming you intend to continue this fantasy) I strongly advise you to get all the help of an editor or editors you can get. I can't count how many times I have had to add missing words or phrases to try and guess what you left out. Just get someone to edit your stories!

I know you're still writing, but please consider adding additional chapters to this series. Besides the ladies he already has, I'm sure there is plenty more to the land of MILF and honey that needs exploring.

For the read.

Although I really love this series, you definitely need to proof read or have someone else do it before submitting them. This one had quite a lot of mistakes with names, the story was very hot and I'm sure a fantasy of many a man or boy.