The Swap Club

Bill:Bob, be polite to the naked lady. You have to be subtle. Like, Debby, when you and what's his name...

Debby:Dave. (My middle name)

Bob:When you and Dave are playing hide the salami, are we talking foot longs or are we talking Vienna sausage?

Debby:(Laughter and shrieks)

Bill:What a wiener! You're so full of baloney!

Bob:You see, you have to be subtle. Debby?

Debby:It's basically a salami. You know, long and hard and thick, and real juicy and spicy. (Thank you, Debby!)

And so it went for about twenty minutes. They broke for announcements, and Debby, "the naked announcer", read a Public Service Announcement. Meanwhile, Joey the engineer, who is actually the third member of this travelling zoo, is doing mock voices. Calling in to give sulphurous denouncements of the proceedings were Titus A. Drum, the station manager, Ann L. Retentive, from the FCC, a spokesman for the station's law firm, Lettus, Rapeham, and Thensum, and the Reverend V.D. Spredder from C.R.A.P (Citizens Revolting Against Pornography). Finally, Debby had to leave to go to work, so I put the car back in gear and headed down the highway myself, with a huge and throbbing hardon. But I was intrigued by the final moments.

Bill:You know we provide a limo to take you there and back.

Bob:Ever done it in a limo, Deb?

Debby:Uh, well, not exactly...

Bob:What the hell does that mean!?

Bill:Yeah, I mean either you have or you haven't.

Bob:So, have you or haven't you.

Debby:Uh...

Bill:Come on, tell us!

Debby:Jeez! Okay, already. It was after my hubby and I got married. We were riding in the limo from the church to the reception. I was wearing stockings and panties, not pantyhose. And Dave pulls me onto his lap, and you know...

Bob:No we don't know.

Bill:Yeah, tell us.

Debby:Jeez, guys! Well he put his hand up my dress. Get the picture?

Bill:Was it fun?

Debby:(Giggles) Oh, yeah! But the chauffeur had a reeaal funny look when we got out.

Bill:So Debby, you plan on wearing this outfit to the concert?

Bob:Yeah, the band would really get into that!

Debby:(Laughing) No, I don't think so. But I do have this real slinky strapless red dress. Maybe I'll wear that. (Good idea!)

***

I never let Debby know I had heard her on the radio. She asked me a couple times if I had been listening. Actually she simply asked if I had listened to the show, she never said she had been on it. I told her I was listening to news on another station. She shrugged her shoulders and seemed to believe me.

The first time she asked me, she was naked. After teaching the morning class that day, she showered and dressed and came over to my office to see if I wanted to take her out to lunch. My cock hadn't deflated an inch since that morning, and the way she looked wasn't helping matters. She was dressed in regular "street clothes", a tank top, denim miniskirt, and high heeled sandals. While I wasn't sure about panties, I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra or stockings. I kissed her lightly and walked over to my office door. Silently closing it, I turned the lock as quietly as I could.

"Jimmy? What are you doing?" Debby asked as I took her in my arms.

"Rather than lunch, I think we need to burn off a few calories," I told her.

Debby giggled as I reached down and unzipped her skirt and pushed it off her hips. She was wearing panties, a tiny lace thong affair. "Sounds good to me." I never stopped my movements and promptly had pulled the tank top over her head and pushed the thong down her thighs as far as I could while standing. Debby was eagerly unbuttoning my shirt. I helped take off my jacket and tie, then pushed my wife to her knees before me. Grinning, she undid my pants and had my straining member deep in her mouth before the belt loops had passed my knees. Initially, only her mouth worked me over, as she pulled my shoes, socks, and pants off, then she put her fingers to work scratching my pendulous nuts and pumping on my cock. It didn't take long at all for Debby to bring me to an orgasm that had the blood pounding in my ears.

Debby stood up, licking her lips and swallowing, and kissed me, giggling. "What if someone comes in?"

"Then they'll see you getting assfucked over my desk," I told her. This morning's radio show had really turned me on, and I was already hard again. "Turn around, bend over, and assume the position."

Debby smiled and trotted over to my desk. Bracing her arms on the edge, she spread her legs wide and looked back over her shoulder, grinning. Since she was still wearing the heels (and only the heels!), her ass and pussy were at just the right height for me. My cock was nicely slick from her mouth so I knew it would slide in easily. As I positioned the head at her asshole, I spread the cheeks with my hands and the little rosy ring opened invitingly. I plunged in, not waiting for it to open fully, but Debby didn't complain a bit. Instead, she pushed back as fast as I pushed in. This was a really vigorous fuck, each of us bucking against the other, Debby's tits swaying crazily, my balls slapping the inside of her thighs. We came within seconds of each other, and I had now left an equally large portion of jism at each end of her alimentary canal.

This was my second come in a row standing up, and I was feeling a bit wobbly, so I went around my desk and sank into the chair. But my cock wasn't tired, it was pointing at the ceiling almost as soon as I had dropped in my leather armchair. Debby laughed lightly and came around the desk after me. "Is this the chair you take Emma in?" she teased. Emma is my secretary, weighs at least 250, and is old enough to be my grandmother.

"Only when I've had my Wheaties," I replied. "Jesus, the woman would crush me." We both laughed at the thought.

Debby was sitting on my lap and idly stroking my erection. "I just can't kill this thing." Swiveling around, she threw one leg high in the air over my head and was in a position facing me, straddling my legs. I carefully lifted her and, as she dropped her legs over the arms of my swivel chair, lowered her sopping wet pussy onto my cock. I pulled the chair close to my desk and pushed Debby backwards. She rested her elbows on my desk and began to squeeze her cunt around me. I leaned in and began to chew and gobble her tits, like she had done to Denise that night. Debby began to moan and whimper, and before I was done and had spewed into her twitching cunt, had thrust a knuckle into her mouth to stifle the cries of pleasure.

By now we were both temporarily sated, and lunch hour was up. Using wads of Kleenex, we wiped fluids from our bodies and my chair cushion and hurriedly dressed. Walking her to the door, I opened it and gave her a quick kiss. "Thanks for lunch, hon."

"My pleasure. Maybe we can do it again, sometime," she said back.

"Anytime."

"Hurry home, I'm sure I'll have a surprise cooked up."

The surprise that night was worth falling asleep at my desk later that afternoon. Debby took some of her "Mad Money" and bought a rather interesting outfit. When I came home, Little Jimmy was spending the night at a friend's, and Brian was still too young to notice. Debby had on a black and white one-piece shorts-and-top set, something called a "romper". It was extremely short and had a set of very loose shorts, slit way up her hips. Attached at the waist was a loose, off-the-shoulder top with two lines of snaps under her arms that unsnapped down the sides to the slits in the shorts, and both shoulders had a pair of snaps, so that by popping the snaps the outfit would peel off. For some reason, the off-the-shoulder shoulders kept slipping lower and lower, exposing more and more of Debby's abundant cleavage from the deep-V front. I could detect some lacy black panties through the slits at the sides of the shorts, and Debby had on ankle strapped shoes with five inch heels. And that was all. She was really swinging and swaying under the top, and it was loose enough so that, if she turned just right, I could see a painfully erect nipple.

She teased and tormented me for the longest time, letting the top slip down and then pulling it back up. Finally she put a sleeping son to bed and came back downstairs. We watched a dirty movie together while Debby undid her snaps, starting low and then as the movie ended, undoing the shoulders. She stood and put another porn flick in the VCR and, as the romper fell away, I could see that the lacy black panties I had glimpsed earlier were crotchless. Then she came and sat in my lap and we watched the second flick. I really worked her tits and clit over, bringing her to orgasm after shattering orgasm. Then we fucked like madmen on the floor.

***

Debby never did tell me exactly how she won the tickets, just that she had called in (69th caller or some such), but I never asked either. I didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. That Friday night she arranged for Jenny to stay over, because we wouldn't be back till late. Finally, about seven, I heard a knock on the door and Jenny began oohing and aahing, staring out the window. "Wow! Look at that thing! It's huge!"

I joined her and stared. "Christ! It really is huge!" I exclaimed.

The doorbell rang a second time, and Debby yelled down the stairs, "Somebody get the door!"

The boys raced to the door and opened it, then with their own squeals, ran out and down the walk to the limo. It was a big black stretch Caddy, and they crowded around it trying to see through the dark glass. Several neighbor's kids joined them. I let the laughing driver in.

"Escort Limousine Service at your service," he announced. "Ready when you are."

"Great. My wife will be down in a moment." I walked to the stairs. "Deb!"

"Coming!" she called, and then came skipping down the steps. "Ready."

Debby had dressed after me (blazer, shirt, and slacks) and hadn't let me see her until now. It was worth it. She had worn the red dress she had talked about on the air. It wasn't new, but she didn't wear it out often, and it really showed her off. It had a strapless sequined bustier top that thrust her tits up and out and flared into a skintight sheath that came to mid-thigh, at most. Almost her entire back was exposed. Bright red high heels and sheer black stockings completed a devastating look. I gave a loud wolf whistle, and Debby smiled and pirouetted before us.

The driver led the way to the car and ushered us in. This monster was really plush! Huge, deep seats and enough leg room to play football! Even a TV! As Jenny scooted the boys back towards the house, the driver got in front and turned to face us. Looking back over the front seat, he said, "There's a bottle of champagne in the fridge and two glasses in the cabinet next to it."

"Wow!" we said together.

"I guess we better get going," he continued. Then he smiled at Debby. "I heard you win the tickets." He faced front again and touched a button on the dashboard, and an opaque divider rose out of his seat back, isolating us. Then a tinny voice came over a loudspeaker. "If you need me, just push the button on the armrest."

I looked at Debby inquiringly, but she just shrugged her shoulders. "Got me," she said.

As soon as we pulled out, I opened the fridge (we both had to look for it) and got out the bubbly. I left the glasses where they were, and laughing, we drank it from the bottle. I was feeling a little frisky and when we hit a pothole and some dribbled down her chin to her neck, leaned in and began licking it from her neck. This turned her on quite a bit, and on her next swallow, managed to spill a bit more. This I licked from the tops of her breasts.

But before anything more could happen, we turned into the Coliseum parking lot. God, the place was jammed! We had enough time to finish the bottle and use a few napkins to wipe any drops up. Finally we pulled over, and the chauffeur let us out. You could barely hear me lean into the guy and ask "Where do we meet you?!"

"Right here. If I'm not already in front, wait for me!"

Debby was looking the other way, at the entrance. I pulled a C-note out of my pocket and slipped it to the guy. "Pick up a couple more bottles, and afterwards, we want to take a long ride, a real long ride, get me!" I had to almost scream to make myself heard.

He just grinned and nodded.

"Okay, see you later!" I yelled, and grabbed my wife and we fought our way in.

Well, the concert was absolutely great! The seats were pretty average, but who cared? Half the time we were standing, and Debby was constantly pulling the hem of her dress down. And boy, when she bounced up and down, she really bounced! She was a show all in her own right!

What with two encores, it was pretty late when we fought our way through the crowd to the sidewalk. We had to stand around for half an hour before the limo pulled up. The driver gave me a thumbs up sign as he held the door for us. Then it was at least as long before we were back on the road. By this time, we were halfway through the first bottle, drinking from the bottle again.

Debby looked out the window and looked confused. Pushing forward the switch on her armrest, she said, "This isn't the way back."

"Shortcut," came the tinny voice.

Debby looked over at me in surprise and I put an arm around her waist. Pulling her onto my lap, I repeated, "Shortcut." She grinned back, and took another swallow, letting more than a little run down her neck to her ample tits. As the wine bubbled it's way down her cleavage, I buried my face in her chest and began to lick her tits clean. I steadied her in my lap by pushing my free hand between her legs and working my way under her skirt. As I had suspected, she was wearing thigh top stockings and no panties. I shoved my hand northwards and began flicking my fingers over her pussy lips. Debby moaned, and when I came up for air, kissed me passionately. Breaking, she put the bottle to my lips and I finished it off. Debby dropped the empty bottle at our feet, and the serious action began.

She nestled against me and began to kiss me heatedly. I was really stuffing my fingers up her cunt, working her pussy to a frenzy, and she was moaning and whimpering as her fingers undid my shirt. I responded by unzipping the bustier top and letting it fall forward. I leaned down and began to suck wayward drops from between her heaving tits. In no time at all, she began screaming her pleasure. I stopped only when her pussy juices had run down from between her legs and soaked my pants legs.

At this point, Debby scooted off my lap. Siting next to me again, we both began to hurriedly undress. Since Debby only had to push the dress off her legs, I lagged behind. This wasn't a problem, because as soon as she was down to her stockings and shoes, she literally tore open my pants and began to suck my engorged cock. She knew I had an incredible hardon, because it had been digging into her ass all during my fistfuck. Now she began to lick and suck frenziedly as I finished disrobing. It was my turn to moan now, as she used both hands to pump me off into her waiting lips. Debby moaned, too, but she's too polite to talk with her mouth full.

Temporarily sated, we collapsed back into the seats and looked out the windows. The driver had taken us up above the Reservoir. We had at least as long to get home as it had taken us to get here. Debby opened the fridge and took out the last bottle and popped it. She let several drips fall onto my crotch. The shock of the cold made me just about jump out of the window, but it definitely woke other things as well. Debby took a long swallow as she watched my dick harden again, then handed the bottle to me. As I began to drink, she began to lick the champagne from my cock and balls. This time she went slow, agonizingly slow, taking me to the brink several times.

Then, my balls aching, she let me out of her mouth and sat up. She took another long swallow, and pushed me forward on the seat. Climbing awkwardly atop me, she straddled my waist and slowly lowered her sopping wet pussy onto my cock. We rocked that way at least fifteen minutes, finishing the bottle, Debby's pussy slowly clamping and unclamping around my root, her tits swaying as the big vehicle moved. Finally, seeing the lights of the town reappear, I placed my hands on her hips and began thrusting her down onto my manhood, as I leaned forward and began to roughly suck and bite her tits. Debby began to shake and shudder all over, as she began a long extended orgasm, that I ultimately joined in, spraying her cunt walls with my boiling seed.

As we pulled into the development, we both hurriedly dressed. We were just taking care of any last evidence as the limo pulled up in front of the house. The driver took several minutes getting out and coming around to open the door. I figured he must have known what had happened. But I was quite surprised when he opened the door. He had a huge shit eating grin on his face as he let us out, first Debby, then me. Then he reached down and moved the intercom switch back to "Off". Wordlessly he went to his door, got in, and drove away. Debby and I stared at each other. Debby had left the switch "On" the entire time and this guy had heard everything! Laughing hysterically, we went up the walkway and inside.

As a final note, the driver, whose name I never did catch, called into Bob and Bill the next day and gave a blow by blow (Literally!) description.

Chapter 14

A week later, Debby and I attended a sales dinner for my firm. Debby always detests these things, but puts on a big smile and grits her teeth through them. It was a Friday night, so at least the drunks would be able to sleep it off the next day, rather than excuse their hangovers to their customers.

Jenny couldn't sit for the kids tonight, having a date, but she substituted her sister. Now for my money, Betsy is the class act of the pair. She's about a year younger than Jenny, maybe fifteen or so, but taller. While her sister favors cutoffs and tee-shirts, Betsy prefers dresses, skirts, and nice slacks. I had never seen her braless like her sister, and doubted the thought had ever entered her mind. She was also built fairly nicely and, to be honest, I wouldn't have minded a taste, but that sort of thing can land a fellow in jail, and I had no intention of playing Pick-Up-The-Soap with a large hairy guy named Bruno.

The dinner was as interesting as I thought it would be, and as boring as Debby thought it would be. Along about half past nine, the formalities ended, and rather than mingle at the bar, Debby asked if we could just go. I shrugged and we split apart for the bathrooms, then met at the coat room. It was Indian Summer and we didn't have coats, but it was convenient. I doubt if anybody noticed us leave.

We had driven in my car, so as we headed home, I drove with my left hand on the wheel and my right arm on the armrest which dropped down between the bucket seats. So I was somewhat surprised when I felt Debby lay her left arm on top of mine and idly scratch the back of my hand with her fingernails. I glanced over at her and noticed her outfit. Interesting. She had worn a bright red suit, jacket and matching button front skirt, and a cream silk blouse. Only several buttons had been undone on her skirt, and with her legs crossed, more than a few inches on thigh were showing! And her jacket was unbuttoned, as were a couple of buttons on the blouse that I would have sworn were buttoned earlier!

Normally, I would have immediately smiled and slid my hand over, because it was obvious what her intentions were. But it couldn't be! My wife's monthly schedule runs quite regularly, the clock most women wish for. By my calculations, she should be on the rag tonight and for most of the next week. Odd, but maybe I was wrong.

"I, um, thought that tonight you'd be, um, well..," I stammered out. I glanced over at her, my voice petering out. I mean, how do you discuss this sort of thing, anyway?