Broken

"What?"

"I'm uh... are we... uhm... are you my girlfriend?" I finally spit out after a stuttering start.

"I don't know, am I?" I wasn't sure if it was a tease or serious.

"Uhm..." I was a bit startled by the answer, and didn't know what to say.

"I mean, you've never asked me to be your girlfriend." She paused for a moment, and then continued, "Would you like that?" I stopped walking, just stopped where we were. She'd taken another half step, but then stopped, and now turned back to me. "What?" she asked about my sudden stop.

Pulling her hand towards me, she stepped up, and I released Pat's handle, Pat obediently just sat down, and I reached out with my other hand to pull her to me.

Since I'd been out of the hospital, all my interactions with Jenn had been verbal. An accidental touch of the arm, perhaps her taking my hand as we walked, but I'd never touched Jenn's face. I'd never stroked her hair; I'd never hugged her. I knew she had breasts, she'd bumped them against my arm at times, but what she looked like, I really didn't know. But my mouth knew where to meet hers. Her lips were full and moist, and I immediately felt my cock beginning to swell. I'd never seen this girl, this woman, and except for her hand, I had never touched this girl. And, except that she'd given me hand jobs and cleaned me and wiped up my semen -- in the hospital - she'd never touched me either.

"Do I take that as a yes?"

"I would like that."

"Me too."

And just like that I had a girlfriend, although one that I'd never seen.

Or, at least I thought I did.

"Are you going to ask me out?"

"Huh?" I brilliantly answered, having already skipped well beyond getting to know each other and wondering just how I was going to get into her pants. I mean after all, my Angel had taken care of me when I was in the hospital, I had no body secrets from her, including that she'd given me hand jobs.

"Well, if you want me to be your girlfriend, you're going to have to take me out at least once. I mean, I might end up not even liking you. I mean, what do you even know about me? I know everything about you, they let me read your chart."

"Go out?" I repeated, not having any idea how that was going to take place. Maria and I had a date, but she'd been in charge. She'd asked me, she'd planned where we were going, and that we were going back to her place afterward. I'd dated in high school, multiple girls, multiple times, where I had been in charge. Usually it was going to a movie, or perhaps meeting at a school dance. Sometimes after a dance I'd get to take them home, and if that happened, most of the time I'd get to kiss them. Most of the time at school functions they were picked up by a parent, and it wasn't until we had an 'official' date that I'd get to kiss them. Usually when we kissed, they'd let me know if I could feel them up or not. Slide a hand down onto her arm, and if they didn't want that, their arm would come up, they'd push your hand away. Sometimes it was just the opposite. Patty Lomax wanted to know if I had a good make-out place, and when we got there, she reached back and unhooked her bra, even before we began kissing. We didn't fuck that time, that was our next date, but she gave me my first blow job on our very first date and I fingered her to several orgasms.

Other times a date was a walk on the beach, usually with an attempted make out session, other times it was a concert, or once when I asked Roberta Watson out, I took her to the theatre where we saw Phantom of the Opera. Afterward we parked in a place I knew, and she let me take her shirt and bra off. She wouldn't let me into her pants, but I managed to rub her to orgasm through her pants while sucking on her nipples.

After Patty Lomax, I had it on my mind, virtually every date, that perhaps I'd get laid, or maybe a blowjob, but sometimes all I got was a slap. Other times, they liked to play, but wouldn't put out. Ginny Mercia and I ended up at the beach one hot summer night, and after a walk down the beach toward the sand dunes, she said it was so hot that she wanted to go swimming. When I said it was too bad that we didn't bring suits, she said, "It's dark, who needs suits?" Although she wouldn't fuck, we laid naked on our clothes back in the dunes afterward and made out. We both had a couple of orgasms that evening to each other's hands and mouths. I learned that no matter what I desired, girls were in control, and they wouldn't put out until they were ready to.

But dating now? How was I going to accomplish that? No longer was I capable of driving. No longer was I capable of seeing a movie. No longer could I be picking her up and going someplace, she'd have to pick me up. Could I still dance? I suppose, although she'd have to guide us into place and lead, and we didn't get too wild. Could I walk on the beach? As long as I had a hand or Pat with me.

"Do you drive?" I asked, for the first time attempting to find out something about Angel other than what I'd learned overhearing her in conversations with others.

What followed was a general and gradual enlightenment of my knowledge of Jenn. I learned that she had an older brother who had gone into the Army. I learned that her parents were both doctors with different specialties. I learned that she had a full ride scholarship to several different colleges, was pre-med to follow in her mother's footsteps, but had chosen to stay near home for a couple of years for her undergraduate degree. Nothing was out of the ordinary until I asked how old she was. "How old do you think I am?"

"What, maybe twenty-five?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you were working in the hospital, and seemed to be somewhat important. I mean, I know you weren't a nurse, but they let you do a lot of patient care."

"That's because they knew me. I'd been volunteering every summer for 3 years, and probably because of my parents being doctors."

"Really?" I said, doing the math in my head. "So, if you were volunteering, just how old are you?"

"I turn 19 next month."

Nineteen. Jenn was nearly three years younger than me as I would be turning 22 in three more months. "Wow. I'm almost three years older than you."

Her response wasn't instantaneous, and her voice had some hesitation when she did. "Does that matter?"

"It doesn't matter to me," I said, reaching down once again for Pat's guide handle. "Wow. I've got a nineteen-year-old girlfriend."

"Eighteen. And I'm not your girlfriend yet, you haven't taken me out."

"You mean, you haven't taken me out."

Our friendly, teasing, banter went back and forth as we walked to my next class.

I had missed the remainder of the entire semester when I was injured, and then an entire year learning to live as a blind man. I'd easily mastered voice recognition software, and although it wasn't perfect, my professors recognized perhaps I had a bit of a handicap on making things look perfect. I'd learned braille -- which surprisingly, being immersed and forced to, wasn't all that difficult. Initially my family and friends had needed to take me everywhere, but I'd rapidly learned to order and use Uber and taxi's and other transportation companies. I'd had a few Uber drivers not like the idea of taking my eyes, Pat, in their car, but when I pointed out they were legally obligated they usually went along. One driver refused, but a complaint to Uber was all it took. He actually asked for me the next time, profusely apologized and said they nearly fired him as he was in the wrong, and he became one of my favorite drivers. I had a standing pickup time to come to school, and he was usually my driver.

I slipped into my seat, Pat lying beside me in his place, but thinking of Jennifer, my 18, almost 19-year-old girlfriend. I wanted to go out with her, I wanted to officially ask her to be my girlfriend, and especially I wanted to have sex with her, but how was that going to happen? What could we do, as anything that required sight...? Just two years before, when I was a star cross-country runner, I could have... I interrupted my own thoughts, realizing that two years ago, Jennifer was in high school. Two years ago, I was 19 and in college. Two years ago, when I'd been laid up in a coma in a hospital... the Angel of Mercy that had taken such good care of me ...

I gulped and shifted in my seat. I desperately wanted to re-arrange my cock which had grown down my leg, but I'd become very cognizant over the last year of how I appeared to others, and that others were possibly looking, or seeing, things that I didn't know. I'd developed a sixth sense, knowing that people were watching. Now I was saved by the professor's voice calling my name. "Jeff?" She'd apparently noticed I was daydreaming. I had to ask her to repeat the question, but luckily with my new study habits I knew the answer.

Stepping out of class, I heard the crowds of students talking, walking, moving by in their own worlds as I headed for the commons. Someone had a radio playing. Even though it was in their headset, I could tell by the barely audible volume (to me -- most wouldn't hear it at all, or would unconsciously ignore it,) and recognized a song by Imagine Dragons, and suddenly I had an answer. When I was perusing the news and info on the internet by virtue of my reading software, was I reading something, or hearing something? I guess it didn't matter -- I knew I'd never really read anything again, but that I had heard that Imagine Dragons was performing in town in a few weeks.

"Hey Jenn," I said, two hours later, as she stepped up to me and slipped her hand into mine, her class having finally come to an end, "do you like music?"

"Of course, why?"

"Would you like to go to hear Imagine Dragons in three weeks?"

"Oh my God, are they playing?"

"Yeah, I think so," I answered, knowing I couldn't keep a straight face. "See, I have these two tickets and I was thinking that if you wanted to go with me, seeing as how so far you're just a friend until I can take you out and ask you to be my girlfriend, perhaps you'd go with me?"

"Three weeks?" She responded, totally throwing me for a loop with her answer. The question was about going with me, the timeline was inconsequential, or so I thought.

"Yeah, I mean, that's when they're going to be here."

"Hmm." She pulled my hand and I stood, Pat obediently standing at the same time. "That's an awful long time. I was kind of hoping that maybe I could have a boyfriend before that long. See, there's this guy I've been hanging out with and I'm kinda hoping he'll ask me to be his girlfriend and if he does that before then, I probably won't want to go with someone who's not my boyfriend."

"Ah," I pontificated, realizing the tease. "Well, I guess you need to get this guy to move a bit faster?" I asked. She giggled. "Any ideas of what you and this guy can do before then?"

"Have you ever been bowling?"

"Bowling?" I repeated, never having considered that as a possible date. Everything I'd been trying to come up with needed to be "no-sight requirements", or so I thought. "Yeah, I was on a junior bowling league back before High School. I was actually pretty good."

"My girlfriends and I were talking about going on Saturday, maybe you want to come along?"

"But..." I started, thinking about how I couldn't do that anymore when she interrupted.

"You don't think you can remember how? They have those kiddie bumpers that they can put up, and surely you remember how to? All we have to do is get you to the starting point?"

It really was almost that easy. Pat understood he was off duty when Jennifer was guiding me. The feel of bowling shoes, the feel of my old bowling ball which I still had in my old closet at my parents' house. The first time when Jenn walked me up to the starting marks was a disaster, the clank of the ball on the bumpers telling me I'd gotten the angle wrong -- but after that, she'd walk me up, and after my right foot was positioned, I put my left foot down and she told me whether I had the mark under the ball of my foot correctly or not, and then she'd step back. The first few times were tentative, stepping forward confidently wasn't something I could do, but it didn't take long to get the old feel down again. Muscle memory took over, and although I couldn't see the pins, I could hear quite well. I'd wait for the crash of pins, turn and step back and her hand would take mine, leading me back to the bench.

I'd taken one step toward Jenn when I heard April quietly say to Jasmine, "You think he really doesn't know?"

"Jenn doesn't think so," Jasmine answered. I had no idea what they were talking about, but knew instinctively it was about me. Once I stepped closer to where they thought I was in earshot -- they dropped whatever they'd been talking about. I didn't ask.

They told me I scored a miserable 85 in the first game -- pretty terrible for someone who once carried a 192 average. I finally managed a strike, or perhaps I lucked into a strike. A strike was almost easier than a spare, in that they had to tell me which pins were still standing and I had to figure how to re-aim from straight ahead. In the second game, Jenn being the second bowler after me so she wasn't walking me back and then having to go right back out, also got a strike. The next time she bowled, her squeal of excitement as she doubled up on the strike almost overrode the sound of the pins exploding from her ball. A second later, she excitedly dropped into my lap, exclaiming how she'd just gotten two strikes in a row, her arm going around my neck. My arm naturally went around her waist, and I squeezed, holding her a bit closer.

Although we'd held hands, and we'd hugged in public, I had never explored her body. I'd felt her breasts against my chest when I'd hugged her. I knew she had to be about 5'6", just from the way she felt against my six-foot frame. I knew she had medium long hair, and I knew her smell, but I really didn't know her physically. I turned my head toward her face and inhaled. "Nicely done!" I whispered for just her to hear.

"Uhm! Thank you!" she said quietly into my ear. Leaning my head slightly more to the side, I moved my mouth near her ear.

"Angel?" I whispered so only she could hear.

"Hmm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Took ya long enough."

"Is that a yes?" I whispered, my cheek against hers.

I heard the whispered yes in return and was going to kiss her when I heard "Ugh! You two! Get a room!" from Jasmine and a joining laugh from April. "And besides, you're up Jeff."

"Shut up you guys," Jennifer replied, hopping up out of my lap and leading me to my starting spot. From that time on, while the others were bowling, Jennifer was sitting on my lap.

It was hard to keep my hands off her. Those of us with sight normally have so much physical and nonverbal communication that we use to mitigate our actions when we're under observation. We don't realize how much the average person is constantly checking out others around themselves; Is some stranger looking at you? Did you turn your head and catch someone else's head turning away? You're about to caress your lover but her mother just walked into the room and you arrest your hand. The cop driving down the street, the stranger standing at the crosswalk, the clerk in the store window - all of these things aren't detectable when you're blind -- so no matter how much I wanted my hand to "inadvertently" brush across her breast, or momentarily cup her bottom as my new girlfriend was about to sit in my lap, I had to refrain. The only thing I could do was to run my finger slowly up and down her back, feeling the thin strip of her bra strap as I did -- and never has a bra strap been so erotic before. It was all I could do to keep from getting a full-blown erection but although apparently nobody else noticed, with Jennifer sitting sideways in my lap, she had to have felt something.

Jenn and April and Jasmine had all been together when they picked me up, I didn't at first realize they were all roommates. Jasmine had been driving and, going home, the only difference was that Jennifer now sat in the middle, next to me in the back, with Jasmine and April in the front seat. They took me with them to their place, where I figured we would drop them off so that Jennifer could take me home. Instead, when Jasmine shut off the car, Jennifer turned to the door and said, "Come on," as she slid out.

I couldn't see anything about their apartment or what it looked like. Jennifer led me to the couch, but when I said I'd like to use the toilet first, she led me to the toilet, pointed out the sink was on the left, the toilet straight ahead and the shower to the right. She told me there was a towel on the wall to the right of the sink -- and I told her I could take it from there.

"You guys want popcorn?" April called out as I stepped out of the toilet. I didn't say anything, but I could sense that something happened as April said "Oh yeah. We're going to our room."

"Jasmine and April... they share a room?" I asked, clarifying what I heard a few minutes later when, popcorn made, April and Jasmine were suddenly no longer in the room and I heard a door close.

"Yeah, April and Jasmine, they're a thing." Suddenly several minor things I'd heard popped into my head, and I realized they were lovers. "They share the one room with the master bathroom attached, I have the other one, and I use this bathroom out here."

I nodded, and turned to Jennifer. Reaching for her hand, I ran my hand up her arm, finding her cheek, and leaned in to kiss her. She readily kissed me back, an exploratory first kiss becoming passionate and not stopping. Sweet moans from her throat, the rising temperature of both of our bodies, let me know she was wanting this as much as I was. This wasn't a Maria, who let me know she wanted sex by getting naked, this was more than just sex. Although I desperately wanted to return the sexual favors that Jennifer had performed for me in the hospital, I would rather take it slower and develop this relationship further -- I didn't want sex with her just for sex itself.

As such, I refrained from being my normal forward self -- at least the forward self from before I lost my eyesight. Stroking her back and shoulder where I could, sliding my hand down to her waist, back around to her back, where once again I felt the straps of her bra through her shirt. When she said, "Give me a minute," and pushed away, my mind immediately thought I'd taken it faster than she wanted. A moment later, when she returned from her room and again slid into my arms, I knew I was wrong as I almost immediately detected that she'd taken her bra off.

Now having been given the go ahead, in moments I'd slipped my hand around to her breast, her nipple instantly hardening to my touch. "I wasn't sure... I thought maybe I was moving too fast," I whispered a short while later, moving my mouth to the side of her neck, sucking and kissing just below her ear.

"Not hardly," she cooed, her hand reaching down and pressing against my cock in my pants. "I don't want to give you a hand job this time, and you've had me wet all night. I want you to take me to bed." She didn't have to ask twice, although it was her that took me to bed.

Standing, she took my hand and led the way. Not knowing the layout of her room, I found her bed first with my knee and then, reaching down, ascertained that it wasn't just a single bed, but a double. Turning, I sat and pulled her to me, pulling her face down to mine as I pulled her shirt out of her pants, sliding my hands underneath to her bare breasts. "Just like I imagined," I said, and feeling her hands reaching to pull her shirt off I said, "No! Let me. I want to explore you and see you, find out what you're really like."