Irresistible Impulse

We sat without speaking for several minutes after he was gone but when I stood up Louise came to me and I put my arms round her. With her face buried against my chest she said softly, "It's the best way love - I promise that I will make it as easy for you as I possibly can."

We kissed and held each other for quite a long time then broke apart and returned to our separate chairs. There was nothing at all to say and neither of us was in the mood for television. I began to drink heavily hoping to dull the pain but Louise stopped me, saying, "Please don't pass out on me before I show that I truly love you. I don't want to lose you before this madness goes away."

"Do you think it might?" I asked with a flash of hope.

"It might - it started suddenly and might disappear the same way."

I really had no such hope. Davina hated the man and had even exorcised him from her life but by her own confession, she was still afflicted by the madness. I went to bed relatively sober and half intended to just hold my wife until we fell asleep but was overcome by impotent rage and fucked her with more brutality than at any time in our relationship. Afterwards I was bitterly ashamed, even though her orgasm was more violent than any I had given her before. Louise held me tenderly as I cried myself to sleep in her arms.

Thursday at work I justified my employment little more than I had the day before because I could not come to terms with the fact that when the night came, I had to let her go to him. I arrived home as tightly coiled as a spring, only to hear Jerry announce that he was not going to claim his turn. "There are several different reasons why it makes sense," he said. "We have started on the wrong sequence. I would like you to have the favoured night with the Sunday morning lie-in and that fits in because I intend to keep on hitting the town Saturday nights. Apart from that, the new door won't be in place until tomorrow and I am happy to wait for that. If I can keep everybody happy, then it is going to be better all round."

Friday was hell. Ironically I got through the day far better because a crisis kept my mind occupied solidly throughout the day. I got home to find the door in place as Jerry had promised. Even the decoration had been repaired so that the door looked as if it had always been there. I hated the thing because it represented an Achilles heel into the private domain where Louise and I had allowed ourselves to be lovers as well as parents.

Watching television was a torment knowing what was to come and as time passed my despair was compounded by the mounting excitement that Louise was unable to conceal. I had half expected for Jerry to make a point by dragging her off to bed early and it might have been better if he had. It was left for Louise and I to go upstairs together as usual but Jerry made sure that we saw him entering his room. In our bedroom, Louise threw her arms round me, gave me a loving kiss, murmured, "I'm so sorry," then broke away towards her lover's bed.

The sound of them screwing was unmistakable but then I was possibly listening very hard.

I could not make out individual words but my wife's cries of pleasure still struck painfully onto my ears. It made me realise how restrained Louise must have forced herself to be on those three nights when it had been important to her that I should not be awakened, but possibly the new access through the bathroom had completely altered the acoustics. I could not stand it so made my way in darkness downstairs to get a drink but noticing in passing that they were shagging with the light on for some reason seemed to make everything a whole lot worse.

It must have been the following Tuesday because I know that he had spent two nights with her with me trying vainly to sleep. Louise had taken the children for a walk during the early evening leaving Jerry and I sitting in adjoining armchairs. His presence in my home still rankling, I burst out, "How do you manage to be such a bastard?"

He looked up, completely unfazed by my abuse. "The classic answer is that it's a talent but the truth is that I work at it," he said pleasantly. "A very long time ago I noticed that the bastards of this world have it made, in all avenues of life but mainly in respect to women because women find bastards irresistible. Read the memoirs of the big womanisers, entertainers, pop-stars, racing drivers, footballers, and you will see that no matter what the specific talent or man's appearance, the invariable common denominator is that they are all complete bastards. Yet in every case the women queue up to open their legs. Women also stay with bastards. Take Davina, for example. Normal steady hubby has a fling just once, wifey thinks he doesn't love me anymore and kicks him out but when the habitual profligate makes a hobby of cheating, his wife only says, 'It's just the way he is'. What about wife beaters? Police and social workers may rescue the battered wives to refuges but how many head straight back at the first opportunity?"

Jerry paused to light a cigarette and I thought that he had finished but he continued with a fresh head of steam. "Did you know that serial sex killers in prison get hundreds of letters from women and it is them that responsible female prison visitors fall madly in love with and leave their husbands for. It has got to be genetic programming because there is no logical reason why bastards should have such universal appeal. The converse is also true. Women may pretend that they want a decent, loving husband but deep down this doesn't satisfy them. Show me a regular husband who has never even looked at another woman and I'll bet everything I've got that at some time since the wedding, his wife has played the two-backed beast at least once with some other man. You are a case in point."

"That was my next question," I said. "Why Louise? Why did you want her? I was very happy with her but there are hundreds of better looking women around that you could have. Some would say that Davina is more truly beautiful."

"I don't especial go for looks. I'm always more on the look out for women who have a deep reservoir of passion and right back at your wedding I could see that Louise had possibly unlimited potential. Some years ago, Davina had a showdown with me about my lifestyle and she finished by saying, 'OK, go with whoever you want but if you ruin Toby's marriage I'll leave you'. That effectively said that I could go with any woman in the world except Louise and of course that made Louise the only woman in the world that I really wanted. She was actually the only woman I wanted a long time before that and it niggled me to see her with you when I was sure you couldn't do her justice. I saw it as an almost criminal waste and in the end decided that I just had to have a share."

My next question was humiliating to ask and only a desperate need to know could have forced the words from me. "How do you manage to know that women will always do what you want?"

"Mainly experience - I know how women always react to sheer nerve," he said, taking obvious pleasure in the telling. "My most successful tactic is to proposition a woman right in front of her husband. They may not say 'Yes' right at that moment but when I see them alone later they invariably fall like ripe fruit. The basic truth is that women find it hard not to do what is expected of them so the trick is to act on the assumption that they will do what I want and they feel compelled to comply. How I then hold them is a different matter but I don't want to start bragging."

Towards the end of the week Davina rang me again at work asking for an update and I arranged to meet her for lunch. Concisely and as unemotionally as I could manage I described the arrangement for sharing Louise, concluding with the words, "It could be worse. At least I still have her part of the time and it does keep the family together."

Davina nodded wisely and then said slowly, "That is what is puzzling me. Jerry usually doesn't give an inch if he doesn't have to. He has got to have reasons of his own for keeping you hanging on. Try to be very careful because I'm sure that he is working to some private agenda. Apart from that I'm very happy for you because last time we spoke I was sure that you had lost her completely. I know only too well the hold that my husband can exert." We parted with her assurance that if ever I needed to talk, she was always there for me.

It is amazing how quickly and relatively easily it is possible to fall into a new routine no matter how unpalatable. Some two weeks later I was lying alone in bed trying not to listen and dwelling on this development in my life. Over the years I had read (generally in Sunday newspapers) accounts of women who had moved a lover into the marital home. 'What wimps those husbands must be,' I remembered thinking, 'how can a man with any pride tolerate such a situation?' Now here I was in exactly that boat, although I did have some marital rights left where most of the other cuckolds had been forced to cede sexual hegemony to the invader.

We went on holiday, Louise, the kids and myself. Although far more time seemed to have passed, it was still just less than a month since Jerry first intruded into our lives. We left for the plane as a matter of course but I had been secretly slightly worried that Louise might refuse to come, opting to instead stay at home with Jerry. It was a really good family holiday. The children had the time of their lives and for quite long periods I was able to completely forget the situation that awaited me back in England. Louise seemed contented, entering happily into the spirit of everything and she was extra loving in bed. It was actually in that night-time arena that I realised she was living behind a façade. Increasingly so during our second week, her love-making had an extra urgency and I became unhappily aware that my wife had developed a sexual hunger that I was unable to satisfy.

It would be wrong to assume that all was sweetness and light when Louise and I were completely alone together for we had several upsetting exchanges with the most traumatic happening the day she returned from that holiday alone with him. It was a shock to find, on returning from our fortnight's family holiday, that Jerry had booked to take Louise to Greece barely six weeks later. I think that he must have formed a new liaison while we were away because in a moment alone together he said, "Look, old friend, there are some of my nights that I am not going to make it back in time. I see no reason to stick rigidly to the terms of our agreement so if I am not around when you want to go to bed, please feel free to sleep with your wife."

On each of the next three weeks he missed one night which was a bonus for me but Louise was unable to hide her disappointment as the evenings drew to a close without him having materialised. On the third occasion I was unable to resist a bit of triumphalism, saying snidely, "You do realise, don't you, that he still fucks other women besides you?"

"I don't care who he fucks as long as he keeps on fucking me. If he ever stops, I think I'll die," my wife told me heatedly. "Anyway, I still open my legs for you so what exactly is your point?"

I got no bonus that night so when he was again missing the same night of the following week I kept my opinions to myself. I was actually in the process of making love when a movement to the side caused me to jerk my head to find Jerry sitting in a chair watching. "What the fuck are you doing there?" I stormed.

"Calm down, I haven't turned into a voyeur," he laughed. "This is one of my nights after all. Normally I wouldn't disturb you but I've had a bit of a disappointment and it has left me rather randy. But don't stop on my account. I can wait."

If he had gone then I may have been all right but he remained sitting there. I didn't want to continue copulating under his scrutiny but on the other hand I could not meekly pull out and let him take her so I made the best of the situation by soldiering on for a few more minutes and then bringing events to some sort of conclusion. "Tut, tut, I always thought you were better in the sack than that, Tobe," he sneered. "If you want keep your ears peeled, in a little while you are going to get a good idea why your lovely wife prefers my bed to yours." With that he got up and sauntered away and I have to admit that Louise followed with almost indecent eagerness.

Watching my wife set off for Greece with her lover was very hard but the children were also upset and I managed to distract myself by consoling them. However, reminding that they were going to see their old friends again soon cheered them up. Jerry had been correct in his prediction about Davina being willing to help because it had been arranged that my kids were to bunk in with hers for the week. I did sleep with my tormentor's wife - twice. It was probably something that we just had to do given the situation but it was not a success. She wanted me to be Jerry, I wanted her to be Louise and when we got to it there was no hiding that fact. We fucked again the second night but that was only because to admit defeat after one failure would have been too ignominious.

After that I went home for the rest of the week. I still saw the kids morning and night but returned to my own house to sleep, not that I slept much at all. I spent many tormented hours in Jerry's room just gazing at the bed where it all happened. Maybe most men in my position would poke around to see what they could find but what I did discover hardly helped. Under one of the pillows was a small bundle of Polaroid photographs. The best description is to say that they all featured Louise engaged in the process of worshipping his cock (one shot was of a kind of tonsil billiards). The sad thing was that I could easily understand the hold that he had over her - just looking at that superb organ left me thoroughly demoralised.

That long week crept by but eventually the Saturday came when they arrived back. There was much kissing, cuddling and words of affection but I had to take second place to the children. Even though Jerry made himself scarce, David and Claire stayed up very late and we went to bed not long after they had retired. I got eagerly under the duvet still undecided whether I should confess about Davina before or after we had made love. The fact that my wife had another man between her hot thighs for the whole of the previous week did not make my infidelity any the less real. "Have you really had a nice holiday?" I asked, secretly hoping that it had been a bit of a disaster.

"It was fabulous, a real dream though I did miss the children," she said happily.

I think the fact that she had noticeably failed to include me put a whining tone into my voice as I asked, "Didn't you miss me even a little bit?"

"Toby, get off my case," she said tartly. "If you want to know I've had such a wonderful holiday that I didn't want to come back. I've been able to fuck to my heart's content without having to bother about hurting your feelings and I have been able to express how Jerry makes me feel without worrying about you or the children hearing me. All my life I have never had so much cock before. There was one day we spent the whole day naked in a little cove miles from anywhere and he was in me almost the whole time. I only stopped cumming for minutes at a time. We actually ate a whole picnic facing each other with me sitting on his prick. Toby, I did not think of you at all. That's what made it so good and I'm not at all sure that I want to be shared anymore."

We fell asleep in stony silence and all next day I walked around devastated believing that this was the end. The routine had been established that we alternated Sunday nights and this happened to be his turn. I felt that as Jerry had enjoyed her to himself for a whole week he could have ceded that night to me - not that it was likely to make much difference the way things stood. Jerry actually moved for her to go up early with him but Louise demurred saying, "You go up but give me a few minutes I need to have a word with my husband."

When we were alone she ran to me and gave me a loving kiss. "I'm so sorry about what I said to you last night," she said. "Most of it was true but I should never have spoken like that and I will never stop sharing with you I promise - even if he wants me to. You don't know how much pressure I'm under in this situation. When I am with you I want to be with him and when I'm with him I can't stop worrying about you. The look on your face when I go to him tears me apart. The holiday was so carefree and the thought of going back to how it was made me suddenly so depressed that I needed to hurt you. I do love you still."

I bit the bullet. "Darling, I have accepted the situation. I know that he fucks you and I know that you like it a lot. It's only natural to cry out so you mustn't hold back on my account. When you're with him, you must forget about me as you did on holiday. As for the kids, sound doesn't travel up to them on the top floor. While you were away I was doing some housework and left the radio on loud in Jerry's room but when I was cleaning David's room I couldn't hear it at all."

For that small speech I got a very tender kiss and then she was gone. I felt on top of the world knowing that I had not lost her completely and would have given anything to be lying in bed with her expressing my love and gratitude. Even having been given a new reason to live I felt the need for a stiff drink to reinforce me and by the time I went upstairs the activities in the next room were already in full swing. It seemed as if Louise had taken me at my word because I could hear everything as clearly as if I was in the room with them but investigation showed that my wife in her haste had left doors on both sides of the bathroom slightly ajar.

I'm ashamed to say that I lingered for a long time in that small room, listening and peering through the crack in their door, not that I could see anything. It was obvious that Louise was trying to recapture the holiday because at one point she urged, "If I move my head round like this and you lift yourself up, you can fuck my mouth like you did on Cori." Then some time later, after she had asked him to do it to her the same way he had in some other Greek place, her cries of almost demented pleasure showed that he had raised her to some sexual plateau of which I had no ken.

Their holiday had affected the balance in subtle ways. Before in public Louise had behaved strictly as if he was the welcome guest of old and it was only in the privacy of his room that she acted the whore. Now she laughed too easily at things he said, stood marginally too close to him and once in the garden I saw her unconsciously slip her arm through his. I knew that I was seeing in this body language a pale residue of the physical chemistry that they had shared under the hot sun and it distressed me. It meant that their relationship had moved from the purely sexual onto a more emotional level and this represented a further encroachment onto my territory.

As time passed, fortune seemed to conspire against me generally. For example her period always seemed to arrive deliberately to frustrate me. Many times when I was waiting eagerly for night, Louise would whisper sympathetically, "Don't get your hopes up. The curse arrived this morning." Why did it always arrive just in time to put the mockers on one of my nights and not his?

On one such occasion, lying in bed, I idly enquired, "How does Jerry cope with this?"

"It doesn't really effect him," she said. "At the start I used to suck him off instead. I still do but now it isn't enough because he always wakes up later wanting me. Some times he says he doesn't care and makes me take the tampon out but usually he sticks it up my back passage. I know that I never let you fuck me that way but somehow it's different with him."