Irresistible Impulse

Filled with both jealousy and envy, I asked bitterly, "So why don't you ever suck me off?"

Louise laughed. "Don't be silly, Tobe," she said. "I never have. It's just not our kind of sex."

One night I made a very bad mistake. The door connecting the other room to the bathroom was now generally left unlatched. This time, drawn by sounds of unusual excitement I went into the bathroom and once there some malevolent impulse prompted me to ease the door open until I could see them rutting on the bed. I watched it all and from then on it became a compunction to do the same every night that she was with him.

Most shaming of all, when I returned to my solitary bed, although it was a habit I had resisted until then, I masturbated, reliving in my mind everything that I had witnessed. This degradation had an inevitable effect on me. More and more nights when I had Louise in my bed, I was content to just hold her rather than make love. The plain fact was that I could not bear the thought of my effort being directly compared to his far superior performance on the nights before and after me. The crux came the night that Louise suddenly pushed me away saying, "If you don't want me, I'm going through," and when I tried to protest she said simply, "It is only fair. He lets you have a lot of his nights when he's not here."

Going out to our cars at the same time one morning, in what sounded like a pleasant voice Jerry asked, "Are you picking up some good tips then?" I pretended not to know what he was talking about to which he said, "Come on, Toby, don't be shy. I'm all for all three of us getting as much pleasure as possible out of our little menage. If you would like to come right in the room with us, do feel free. I'll even set out a chair specially so you have a real ringside seat."

I stiffly declined but could not stop from carrying on with my voyeuristic vigils, even though I knew that he knew I was there. From then on I found the door on his side generally well open leaving nothing for me to do - on the occasional nights that I found the door shut against me I crept away with a profound sense of disappointment. I also suspect that he told Louise they had a spectator because it seemed as if they angled their bodies deliberately to give me the optimum view. One night he was lying on his back with Louise riding his penis, bouncing frantically up and down in the position where her back was towards him. She was squeezing her own tits and as an orgasmic squeal burst from her lips, the look on her face could only be one of defiance as she stared directly at where I was concealed.

Over the few months that have passed since then, quite a lot changed in that although Jerry and I still have roughly the same number of nights each, the distribution is completely different. He is consistently absent from the house about fifty per cent of the time but whenever he is at home Louise sleeps in his bed. I actually prefer it that way. When he is away my wife is more relaxed and loving and I perform far better knowing she is not hankering after a better alternative available in the next room.

One morning recently, although Jerry had left for work before me I found him waiting for me outside my office. "We never have our lunches and games of squash anymore," he said as I walked up.

"Are you surprised?" I asked sarcastically.

"I honestly don't see why the situation with Louise should effect our friendship," he said blandly. "You ought to loosen up a bit and a few sessions of squash should do the trick. I guess that I'm quite rusty so it should be quite competitive. Do you know I really miss the old days. I used to love humiliating you and you must have got some masochistic pleasure out of the game or else you would not have kept coming back for more. The secret was to let you win just enough so that you believed you were really in with a chance."

"I'm not interested," I told him coldly.

"I am afraid that in this instance I have got to insist - not a game, just meet me for lunch today. We need to talk man to man about the future because I don't want to be accused of just going ahead and not liaising with you."

I reluctantly agreed and we met at what used to be our favourite restaurant. Jerry started on his spiel straight away, "As you know Davina is acting very bloody minded and only allows me the minimum access to my children that she can legally get away with. Your kids are smashing and treat me as a very special uncle, but it's not the same. I need to have a child of my own with Louise. It might encourage me to cut down on my gallivanting and be around more. Unfortunately, if I do start trying it will mean a period of celibacy for you. You know, just a month or so until I ring the bell."

My face must have been a picture of horror because he laughed saying, "I'm only joking. I wouldn't impose celibacy on any man so I intend to make arrangements. There are a couple of attractive, very sexy women who will be pleased to spend one night a week each with you, if I ask them to. The husband of the first is quite used to me borrowing her and the other girl works in my office. Petra recently married a guy who works in Saudi Arabia and as long as he doesn't come back on holiday, she should be able to manage more than just the one night."

I walked out without speaking, fumed all afternoon and immediately on arriving home I stormed into the kitchen where I knew Louise would be. "What is all this rubbish about you having a baby?" I yelled.

My wife looked up from stirring the gravy completely unconcerned. "I have been getting a bit broody lately," she said.

My heart sank at her casual confirmation of what I feared.