Whistling Swans

"Wow," I said, "this is fantastic. And you ladies look equally as good. Thank you for having me. Cheers!"

We clicked glasses. Cora said "A fine win." Helene fired a side glance at her.

The food tasted as good as it looked. Actually, much better. It had really been a long time since I'd had food this good. Months for sure. When you're on your own, you don't cook like that. At least I don't or can't.

It was the first time I could really study their faces. Helene was lovely with blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled. She had full lips that covered pearly white teeth. Her lips betrayed every emotion she had. Everything about her was soft and feminine. If it wasn't for that tattoo, I'd have never had guessed.

Yvonne was also very pretty. Hazel colored eyes, little bit of crow's feet in the corner, high cheek bones, full sensual lips. Her hair line was straight and her long hair, formerly near black, was thick. The way the lines on her brow crinkled gave me the impression that she was highly intelligent and very sensitive. Like an artist. I just wanted to hug and kiss her. Again, I would have never had guessed she was a lesbian.

Cora, on the other hand, had an air of command about her, some sort of an executive for sure. I wouldn't want to mess with her. She was slight but wiry. Her neck veins popped out when she talked. And good looking too. Big brown eyes would bear down on you, even when she was looking up. Short brown hair, cut professionally by Yvonne I'm sure. Straight nose, strong jaw line and a smile from her thin lips that would brighten the whole room up. She too was feminine, but if someone had said to me that only one of these three ladies is gay, I would have picked Cora.

I started the conversation.

"So Helene, tell me, how did you get know these two ladies?" There was a ten year or so age difference. Lesbian bar maybe?

Yvonne answered, "She's a client of mine, we've known her for years." I wondered if there was such a thing as a lesbian hair salon.

"And have become very close friends," Cora added and touched her hand on Helene's. Helene smirked back at Cora.

I wondered just how close.

"So you two," I said glancing from one side to the other, "had families, sorry have families, separated, and then decided you're going to live together as a couple? Somehow that doesn't make sense to me?" I carefully avoided the L-word.

Yvonne didn't. She answered, "Just because we have a lesbian relationship, doesn't mean that we are lesbians."

Gulp. I took a mouthful of food and chewed it while contemplating that last statement. It didn't make any sense, but I was glad she got that word out.

"So you two live together but aren't intimate?" I was trying to be polite. I took a mouthful of food. It was divine.

"Of course we are," Cora answered, "we love each other."

Something still didn't jive.

"Okay," I said, "let's say I meet a guy tomorrow. A straight guy. No matter how fond I may be him, somehow I can't see the two of us becoming homosexual lovers."

"You never know," Helene answered. My eyes rolled.

After a moment Cora said, "It didn't quite work like that for us. We met in college. We were roommates. We explored. We became best friends. And then we fell in love."

Yvonne was smiling right at Cora who reciprocated with that winning smile of hers. It was very touching. Maybe a little too melodramatic for me.

She continued, "The problem was that by the time we fully came to grips with that, we were both married and had families. So we made a conscious decision."

"Long ago," Yvonne interjected.

Cora continued "That when our parenting duties are done, that we are going to leave our husbands and finally start our lives together."

"Wow." I said.

Helene said, "You have to admit, it was a very responsible thing that they did."

I nodded as I chewed another mouthful.

Yvonne went on, "We told them on the same day. We had this apartment already set up. That was six months ago."

I think I was a little stunned.

Cora said, "That way there was no opportunity to argue or have things get ugly."

Yvonne added, "And no turning back."

I took another mouthful of food.

"Didn't your husband's know that you were carrying on an affair?" I asked after swallowing.

"Of course we always suspected that they did, but as it turned out, they didn't," Cora answered.

Yvonne added in her sultry voice, "Mike dear, we weren't cheating on our husbands. We were the ones that were cheated. We should have been together decades ago." They smiled at each other again. Am I watching a soap opera?

Helene said, "I told you they were devious."

Both Cora and Yvonne glared at Helene.

Helene changed the subject right away. "Mike, you said you have two kids."

"That's correct. I have two girls, Deanne and Lisa. They're twenty one and twenty. Nineteen months apart. It was nice because they played together when they were little. They're both at university now and they're still very close. They come home to their mother's, well, every other weekend. I think it has more to do with laundry than anything else."

I cut up some asparagus on my plate and continued, "They're both in liberal arts programs. I don't think they have a clue of what they want to do, but they seem to be keeping good grades. They're both good kids and sensible. I can't be happier."

"Do you see them often?" Cora asked.

"Every other weekend at best. And then just for a few minutes. But then, they're on the other end of a cell phone."

"You said you were separated," Cora asked, or said.

"Yeah. Unfortunately. Or fortunately. We were pretty young when we got married. We had the kids when we were young. We were just twenty five when Deanne was born."

"That doesn't seem unusual." Helene said.

"It's not. But when we started dating we were twenty. My kid's age. And by twenty five I've got a family? People change. I guess she wasn't expecting me grow up to be the father and husband that I became. And I certainly didn't expect her to morph into what she became."

"What was that?" Cora asked.

"The fucking hunch-back of Notre Dame."

"Come on." Cora laughed. The others giggled.

"Seriously, the marriage just fell apart. We just got on each other's nerves. She would just keep nagging me, on and on. She'd never frikkin' let up. She wasn't the same girl I married. And of course I wasn't the same guy."

They watched me silently as they ate.

"We even tried marriage counseling."

"I guess that didn't go too well." Helene said.

"We went together and sat down across from the guy's desk. And she started jabbering at him, on and on, she never stopped. Everything's my fault. I didn't do this. I did that. I don't pay attention to her. We don't have sex anymore. I'm selfish. She went on and on."

The three of them stopped chewing, their forks poised in mid-air as I spoke.

"I just shut up and let her make a fool of herself."

"Then what happened?" Yvonne asked.

"The marriage counselor stood up, walked around table, lifted the wife up from the seat and gave her a big fat kiss on the lips. Suddenly she shut up."

The three of them were shocked.

I continued, "The counselor turned to me and said 'she needs that at least twice a week.'"

"What did you do?" Yvonne asked.

"I had her there every Monday and Thursday at three."

"Get out of here." Cora whipped me with her napkin. "Very funny."

All three were giggling.

"No seriously, that's the gist of it. We got on each other's nerves. Fought and for the sake of the two girls and our own sanity, it was best if we separated.

"Was there infidelity?" Cora asked and then retreated, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's alright." I answered. "On her part, I don't know for sure, but I doubt it. On my part, just a tiny bit. And it scared the shit out of me one day."

"What happened?" Cora and Helene asked.

The three of them were all ears.

"Well I was doing grocery shopping one day and you know how you tend to follow a certain route through the store with the shopping cart? Anyway this blonde woman kept looking at me funny as we shopped along. She seemed familiar, but I just couldn't quite place her. Eventually she stopped me and said, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'"

The three of them stopped chewing and stared at me.

"I was floored, suddenly it dawned on me. It was the only time I'd ever been unfaithful. I was at a friend's party, we were all drunk."

They stared at me.

"My heart was pounding in my chest," I went on, "I turned to the blonde and quietly said to her, 'oh my god, you're the girl I fucked at that party four years ago. On a basement couch. You shoved a pickle up my ass as we did it.' She looked at me like I had two heads and said, 'No, I'm Lisa's home room teacher.'"

The three of them were gasping for air as they erupted.

Cora started, "You bastard, you really had me going there."

"My sides hurt." Helene stammered out.

It took a few dabs of the napkins to clear the tears from their faces but eventually we were able to resume eating dinner.

It was fun toying with them.

"This is really, really nice ladies. I've not had home cooked food this tasty in a long, long time."

Yvonne said, "Oh you're welcome Mike, I'm glad you could make it for dinner."

"And I'm glad that you graciously lost today."

The three of them fired glances at each other. I pretended not to notice.

Cora broke the long silence, "Yvonne and I were at a restaurant the other evening and there was a nicely dressed couple at the table next to us but in the corner. When no one seemed to be watching the man slithered down the seat and disappeared under the long tablecloth. I said to Yvonne 'oh my god I know what he's going to do.'"

I looked over to Yvonne, she had a smile as she watched Cora. I wondered if this was a joke.

Cora continued, "It seems the waitress noticed too, she stepped up to their table and said 'Ma'am your husband just slipped under the table.' She replied 'No I think he just came in the front door.'"

I laughed. We all did. That Cora was one smooth piece of work.

I continued to tell them about my life. "Eventually I got myself an apartment." I said, "I'd see this woman that lived two doors down from me in the halls and in the lobby and you know...around. We'd always say 'hi' but we didn't know each other's names. Well one day I saw her in the hall and she was struggling to open her door while she held a big laundry basket in her arm. So I decided I'd help her. She was dressed only a house coat and slippers and as I took the laundry basket from her, her front opened up and her boobs hung out."

"Is this a joke?" Helene asked, then added, "what happened?"

"I know that my face flushed red. When I looked up to her she was grinning wildly, then she opened up her house coat to show me that she was completely naked underneath. My eyes popped out, then she quickly closed her housecoat back up and said, 'Shhh, someone's coming,' then opened the door and stepped inside."

The three of them stared at me with incredulous looks.

"I followed her into the apartment still holding her laundry basket. She closed the door, pulled off her house coat and stood there dressed only in her slippers. Then she proceeded to do a slow pirouette right in front of me. I mean, she was drop dead gorgeous. Nice body, pretty face, perfect tits, great ass." I figured lesbians would like that bit of detail.

"Okay," Yvonne said blinking.

"Then she smiled and asked what I thought was her best asset. 'Your ears' I told her."

"Her ears?" Helene and Cora asked together.

"Yeah, she couldn't understand that either. So I had to explain to her. I said 'you know when you said you could hear someone coming? That was me!'"

They nearly fell off the table howling in laughter.

Oh I loved teasing those three women. Putty in my hands.

We cleared the dishes off the table and stacked them into the dishwasher. I said thanks to them again. Yvonne said to leave the rest in the sink and that they'll finish cleaning up later. She motioned me to go and sit on the couch. I grabbed my wine and sat down.

Yvonne sat next to me and held her glass of wine. Cora sat in a two-seater to my right with her knees crossed, spiky boots and pointed toes on display. Helene sat across from her in a single armchair, one knee over the next. She dangled her high heel shoe nervously from her right foot.

Yvonne turned towards me and uncurled her free arm. Her fingertips rest on my shoulder. "That was a fun dinner. Thank you so much. You've made this whole day so much fun for all of us." She leaned forward on one knee and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Did she expect me to spontaneously start making out with her? Was that the plan?

"Ladies, thank you for the dinner today and the golf. You girls are a riot. You really are. I'm so glad that I met you all." They smiled. "But I know that that game was set up, by you two," I motioned to Cora and Yvonne with my eyes, "much to the chagrin of Helene."

They were quiet.

I continued, "It was all a ruse to get me right here, right now. So what's up?" Before they could answer I added, "And don't be telling me that three lesbians all of a sudden have an urge for some male companionship. I'm sorry, that won't wash."

They were quiet and looked down at the floor.

Helene broke the silence. "I think we should be honest with Mike."

"Please do," I said.

Another silence.

Helene spoke again, "They want me to have sex with you."

Cora interjected, "Mike please let me explain."

Helene's high heel shook feverously as it dangled from her toes.

Cora went on, "We're only looking out for Helene. We love her dearly." She took a sip of her wine and set the glass on the table.

She paused for a long moment before she spoke again. Slowly and in a quiet, controlled tone she said, "Helene has been hurt in her life. Emotionally scarred. Twice. We are simply trying to help her deal with it, so that she can find some happiness in her life again."

"By having sex with me? How's that going to help?"

"Please let me continue." Cora picked up her wine glass again, "When Helene was young she was physically and emotionally traumatized and..."

"I was raped," Helene interjected, "I was fifteen and I was raped." She looked down at the floor.

Yvonne spoke up, "Helene dear, there's no need to get into all that now."

We sat there silently for a moment exchanging glances.

Cora continued, "That event pushed her into an alternate lifestyle."

Helene turned her head down.

"I'm sorry about the rape," I said, "and I can understand how debilitating that can be. No, I'm sorry, I'm sure I can't." I paused to take a breath and to try to figure out how I could handle the situation tactfully. "But what has that to do with having sex with me? What's wrong with being a lesbian?"

"Mike please," Yvonne answered placing her fingers on my shoulder again, "that's a silly question for a man to ask three lesbians." She did have a point. But I didn't have an answer.

Helene broke in, "There's nothing wrong with being lesbian."

Cora spoke, "Helene, please. Mike, you must understand, that childhood event has frightened Helene away from men. She carries that wound to this day."

"Okay I get that," I said trying to keep my voice steady, but my hands were in the air. I turned to Cora, "You said this is about Helene finding happiness in her life." My hands were animated, "That's very admirable of you, of you two," I glanced over to Yvonne. "But Helene has chosen, or through misfortune, life has chosen for her a gay lifestyle. I think you should be finding another woman to make her happy. Not a straight guy."

Yvonne caught my hand in mid air. She pulled my hand to her cheek and pressed it. "Please," she said, "Let Cora finish." She let my hand go.

"I spoke of two events," she said, "the second was a long term relationship, a lesbian relationship that ended badly. She was very hurt in the end."

Helene cut her off, "I spoke to Aya the other day."

"Oh?" Cora and Yvonne both said turning to Helene. "I thought she stopped taking your calls," Yvonne added.

"I still have to deal with her professionally, on occasion."

"What did she say?" Cora asked.

"Well apparently she's fallen head over heels for someone."

"Well let's just hope she's found happiness," Yvonne said.

Cora cut her off, "Let's hope that bitch doesn't do to someone else, what she did to her!"

"Cora!" Yvonne admonished.

"It won't happen," Helene said, "It's a guy she's fallen for."

"Really?" the two said at once.

"What happened?" I asked, then realized it probably wasn't my place to ask.

"Helene answered, "I was in a relationship with a girl for eight years. She was too frightened to come out. In the end she just walked out on me."

"There must have been more to it than that," I said, again I wondered if I was prying.

"Of course there was," Cora answered, "every relationship has complexities, but it was still out of the blue. Helene didn't see it coming and then Aya didn't even have the courtesy to return Helene's calls."

"You see Mike," Yvonne explained, "Helene is now too frightened to find another girl, she doesn't want to get hurt again. She's trapped."

I looked over to Helene. Her eyes were downcast.

Cora said, "I'm sure the pain from the Aya incident will eventually fade away and perhaps she'll be able to push aside her apprehensions of going on a date with another girl, but you must understand something. Middle aged lesbians have a very slim chance of finding someone. That pool is tiny. Straight women have a tough enough time."

"I'll say," Yvonne added, "my salon is full of frustrated women."

"Okay so what does that have to do with me?" I asked.

Cora answered, "We don't believe that Helene was genetically pre-disposed to being a lesbian. She didn't grow up being uncomfortable in her skin, or feeling alienated or feeling different. The rape changed the direction of her life. It has limited her chances of finding happiness."

"And I'm supposed to do that? Give her happiness?" I looked over to Helene. She was hunched over head down with her hands on her face.

"No," Cora continued, "Helene had agreed, she swore to us, that she will let us help her. We believe, and Helene fully knows this and fully agrees, that if she had the opportunity to make love to a man, not have rough sex with him, that it would be the first step in getting over her fears. And that's all they are, they're fears."

Yvonne added, "We know that making love to a man won't change her overnight. We would have to be very naïve to believe that. The healing has to be a process. But it has to start somewhere."

How bizarre. Two lesbians were trying to un-lesbianize a third.

Cora went on, "Helene will readily admit that she still finds men to be physically attractive, always has. But when it comes to any kind of physical interaction beyond a handshake or a kiss on the cheek, she clams up. The old fears return."

"Helene," I said, she lifted her head up. Her eyes were swollen and red. "You're a beautiful woman, why don't you just go out and pick up some guy?"

"She's too frightened to do that," Cora answered for her, "plain and simple."

"Cora and I promised her that we would find a man to help her get over her fears. I'm afraid Mike, that it's you. You're the first opportunity that we've found."

"And why didn't you just ask me instead of putting on this charade?"

Cora laughed back, "Oh sure Mike how would that have gone? 'Nice putt Mike, oh by the way will you screw Helene for us after the game?'"

They had a little chuckle with that. Even Helene.

"Yeah, that would pretty well have done it." I said grinning. I was joking of course.